Chapter 263: Stop feeling embarrassed. Everyone cries
Cass woke to birdsong outside of his window, and numbly, he slapped his hands around on the bed, trying to find out where he was. The sheets felt different, and he scrunched up his face. They weren’t what he was used to, and fuck, his eyes felt swollen.
Reaching a hand up to grope his eyes, he poked near his cheeks, his face swollen and bloated. He grumbled, complaining until he felt his body stiffen as memories came back.
He’d cried like a damn fucking baby yesterday. Sobbed really. All because he’d woken up without anyone nearby.
He was a damn fucking baby. That was insane. How could Cass do that? And then he’d sobbed when he’d seen the others and...Edgar had carried him up to his room? He was sure he wasn’t alone, in fact he was damn near sure that Lucian wouldn’t have let Edgar taken him up to his room alone but fuck.
He’d been going in and out of consciousness, so all he could really remember were the sounds of their voices, but not what they were saying. He knew that they were talking, but he couldn’t connect the dots on what they were saying.
Cass groaned. He rolled over onto his side, pulling his hands up over his face before he got the bright idea to just pretend that he hadn’t woken up. Pull the sheets up over his face, and just bury himself in his bed. He hadn’t done that yet. Not really.
When he’d first arrived he’d been all bright eyed and bushy tailed. He’d wanted to find out everything about his circumstances and had hated that there were limits placed on him. After that he’d just been trying to survive. Find out enough that he didn’t get caught and become a dead body before he could do anything else.
Now?
Now the people around him mostly understood half truths about him. Understood some aspects,, but not all. He could take a half day. Hell, he could probably take a full day but at the same time...
He shouldn’t let the embarrassment swallow him whole.
He’d never been the kind of man who let something like this get to him. Maybe he’d just been too damn stressed from the whole situation that anxiety and panic were his best fucking friends.
Cass sighed, the sound leaving his body like a damn prayer. He had the sheets pulled up over his head, curled up in a ball on his side, unsure of the time, where he was, anything.
He fucking hated not having Sam with him here.
He should have brought him. If Sam was here...even if Lucian was suspicious...Sam would just make things better. He had a way of making Cass feel better, like a human. Like he mattered. He was his henchman. His head henchman. That was part of his job.
A knock sounded at the door and Cass stiffened. He knew that someone was outside, and he had two guesses. One was more likely than the other, and he wasn’t sure he was going to be happy with either option.
"Cass? Are you up, sweetness?" Cass pulled the blankets tighter around him, his face warming. Yup. There was the one that he predicted was more likely, and fuck if he had hoped it was Sir Forsythe. He’d rather deal with the man feeling guilty than a situation he wasn’t sure what to expect.
Cass grumbled some more, complaining quietly to himself before he gave up, and uncovered his face.
"You can come in." Cass mumbled, knowing he didn’t need to raise his voice for the other man to hear him. Cass was slowly pulling himself up, blinking his swollen eyes as he placed his hands behind him to pull himself up and back.
The door clicked open and Lucian came in. Cass normally would say that the man strolled in, but he seemed more hesitant this time. Nervous. He saw Cass, saw what Cass was doing, and between one slow blink and the next, he was by his side. Cass felt his hands gently grabbing pillows, stuffing them behind his back and Lucian’s long hair gently brushing against his clothes and face.
"If you needed help, you could have asked. I was just outside the door." Lucian’s voice was soft, kind, without a bite to it that Cass expected from the words leaving his lips.
"I, uh, I’m used to doing it?" Cass suggested and stared up at the man’s face. He was close, but not looking at Cass. He was genuinely fussing over him, primping him, plucking him, making sure he was safe and comfortable. Seeing his face this close without the man staring at him, Cass could actually examine him up close for the first time.
The first thing Cass noticed was how dark and long Lucian’s eye lashes were. His face was on an angle, so he could really see how full they were. He normally was so distracted by the colour of his eyes that he didn’t register that. His facial hair was also well taken care of. Not a hair out of place. Cass couldn’t imagine the man spending time in the bathroom shaving and taking care of himself, so he wondered if that was part of his skin as a dragon, or if it was an illusion.
Cass’ face warmed slightly as he remembered how it felt against his skin when he kissed him and nuzzled him and came to the conclusion that he shouldn’t go further down that road at this point.
His skin was so clear, but now that Cass saw it up close he realised it wasn’t quite...human. It looked human, and felt human, even from a few inches away but now that he was closer he could tell there was a...shimmery nature to his skin. Like...like scales.
Snake scales. Dragon scales.
It was probably a good thing that Cass hadn’t noticed this so soon. He was weak to learning new things about animals, and honestly, he liked all animals. If Lucian had found out about this....if he found out about this...
Cass cleared his throat, turning his gaze away, his face flushed.
"Are you feeling okay? I’m not trying to peek inside of you but you’re giving off some crazy emotions right now, Cass. So much so I’m having a hard time ignoring them. Are you in pain? Gosh, your eyes are so swollen. You look like an adorable little weeping baby." Lucian muttered, reaching up and gently poking at the swollen skin under Cass’ eyes. Cass jerked his head away and Lucian chuckled. "Did that hurt? I’m sorry. I just wanted to see how swollen it was. Should I get some of that tonic that you hate? Would that help?" He asked and Cass froze.
Maybe it was a good thing Sam wasn’t here, because that was exactly what Sam would have him do in this situation.
"I don’t need the tonic." Cass muttered and Lucian paused, before looking at him. Cass met his gaze, a little nervous to be this close to the other man. Lucian’s expression was flat for a second, scanning Cass’ own face before his eyes settled on his own. There was a long, pregnant pause before Lucian smiled softly.
"Okay. I won’t force you, but I will suggest that there are a few people in your employ who will freak out at the sight of you right now. I think of you as an adorable little woodland creature, but I don’t think everyone will have such positive reactions to your current condition." Lucian said, and Cass felt his cheeks warm more at his words.
Cass dropped his gaze, staring at his covered lap, and how quickly Lucian had folded back the blankets nicely so that he looked like a pretty little doll tucked into bed, sitting up. He hadn’t moved away though.
"I just...won’t leave the house today. Besides, I’m waiting for the seeds I sowed before I left to bud." Cass muttered. "I’m pretty sure it should be any day now." Cass said and Lucian chuckled. He leaned in, pushing Cass’ hair back from his forehead to kiss the scar there. Cass blinked as Lucian pulled back, affection in his eyes, on his lips.
"My little schemer. I hope that’s the case. Edgar and Fiona found a room that could work as your office. Fiona set one up temporarily next to yours since she doesn’t want to leave your side, not when you’re having such a serious moment. She’s also deeply apologetic. She’s already been by several times to see if you’re awake, so be prepared for that." Cass didn’t expect the heads up, but did appreciate it.
He slid his gaze back up to Lucian’s, his stomach in knots since the man was so close. He wasn’t sure what happened last night, nor what the two were talking about but...
"You and...Edgar brought me back to my rooms last night, didn’t you?" Cass asked carefully, watching Lucian. Lucian gave nothing away, a wide, knowing smile crossing his lips. He reached up, stroking Cass’ hair with a gentle, but large hand. Cass wasn’t sure what to make of how that made his body feel. He was tense, but he wasn’t on guard in the way he normally was.
"We did. Edgar carried you. He didn’t carry you the way I would have, but to each their own. Do you hurt anywhere? Are you upset about that?" Lucian almost seemed...eager to hear if Cass was upset with that. Cass shook his head.
He looked away, a little nervous before he let out a sigh.
"Sorry I freaked out on you guys last night." Cass mumbled, his embarrassment getting the better of him as he apologised, his face going red. "I didn’t mean to. I just-" Lucian let out a soft huff of air.
"Sweetness." Lucian’s voice was a rumble. "Don’t apologise. Please. You’re going to break my hearts. You went through several traumatic things yesterday. We were so focused on dealing with the issue that we left you alone. Even for five minutes wouldn’t have been excusable. You had every right to be angry at us. We were just too focused on...our own satisfaction that we..." Lucian trailed off, shaking his head. His hand slid down Cass’ head, going to the back of his neck. He gave a squeeze and Cass’ stomach dipped. "You’re allowed to freak out. There is no one here who thought it was ridiculous. Now, are you hungry? The maids...hmm, I’ll have to go hunt something myself since I can’t trust anyone here yet." Lucian muttered and Cass blinked.
"Not even the fairies?" Cass blurted out and Lucian paused, before he smiled. He leaned in, pressing his forehead against Cass’, gently rubbing his skin there. Cass wasn’t sure what to do, how to react with such an intimate hold with no tension between them. This was...new, and unexpected.
"Not even the fairies, babe. You aren’t just a fairy, and I’d rather the less people know the better. I want to keep you to myself in some capacity." He said, a grin on his lips. "Now, do you need help getting dressed? I can be a proper gentleman when the mood calls for it. I may not be like your dear little helper, but I can promise to keep my hands to myself." Cass could feel the ’for now’ deep in his words, in the way he was touching him, caring for him.
Cass gulped.
This Lucian was...hard to ignore. Hard to resist, too.
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