Chapter 239: Are you kidding me? So damn close!
It was so fucking quiet out in this garden. It kind of made Cass’ skin crawl. He almost wanted to magic up some fake birds just to feel something normal. To add to it, Fiona wasn’t crying loudly. It was so soft, so quiet, that Cass felt his heart moving and twitching more.
Cass didn’t consider himself a heartless person. He’d never considered himself that. He had considered that he could be heartless. Hitting, punching, beating others up, the people he had normally done that to had deserved it.
He had been called cruel and mean for the state that he had left them in. Most people had called him a ’troubled kid’. His sister had called him ’her hero’.
Cass swallowed, the memory leaving a sour taste in his mouth.
Cass found himself making a few fake birds. They didn’t look real in the slightest, their bodies made out of magic, like little holograms. He dotted them around, placing them in the tree above them, on the bench beside them, and a few more around them in the garden. He also made a few butterflies, pretty in different shades and a few big, fat bumble bees.
When Fiona raised her head, she gasped at the kaleidoscope of colours around her. She stared in wide eyed wonder at all the shapes and birdsong that filled the air. Then, her eyes watered again.
"You are so good at magic." She whispered. "I’m so envious." She told him, holding onto him tightly. Cass stared down at the woman who wasn’t even his height, but held so much on her shoulders. Had been given it without really asking her permission.
"Fiona, why are you envious of me when you’ve held this mishmashed party together for as long as you have?" Cass asked softly and she sniffed.
"So? I’ve always been good at that. That’s nothing new. Keeping parties together is easy." She muttered, clearly worked up. Cass let out a soft laugh.
"Easy? How in the world is that easy? I can barely make myself happy, or tolerate others, and you’ve managed to do that to four men who shouldn’t see eye to eye. Did you know that where I was before this, polyamory or whatever the hell you’re practising is frowned upon? Full on outlawed." Cass told her and Fiona sniffed.
"That’s there, not here." Fiona said, not letting him give her any credit. Cass groaned.
"Even if gay marriage was allowed and not frowned upon, there is no world where I think I could manage having one husband, let alone four. I think you’re doing an amazing job, even with the marriage part. You’ve made it so far without much of our help. You’ve stared down Dukes, Kings, Marquis without batting an eye. You’ve fought for the common people, made sure that dungeons had less of an impact, ordered the temple around. You’ve stepped up in ways that you really shouldn’t have, and it’s very admirable. You are what every hero wishes they were." Cass told her. Fiona let out a cold laugh.
"That’s great and all, Cass. I know you’re trying to make me feel better, but I just...I can’t see it. I can’t even be honest with the one person I want to be honest with. We have to hide from everyone what we are doing, who we love. I feel like a terrible person for marrying everyone, including you, while still being so madly in love with Ava that my heart hurts when I’m away from her. Even when she was doing everything in her power to be a nightmare, I still loved her. I still love her." Tears poured from her eyes. "Why is it so bad that I love her? Why does it feel like the moment I tell anyone outside of you that my heart beats for her that I’m going to lose everything? I feel like a fraud." Fiona’s words cut deep.
Cass didn’t know what to say in the face of such genuine pain and fear.
She was just right. She shouldn’t have to suffer like this. It was unheard of, unjust. She should be able to love who she loved. It stung even more because it was Lord Blackburn’s own family who was the one backing these kinds of policies. Who found this sick kind of pleasure in enforcing it, killing people who weren’t like him.
Cass let out a shaky sigh.
"You’re not a fraud." Cass told her quietly, holding the woman in his arms. "You aren’t, Fiona. What you are doing isn’t wrong, but if you’re feeling this kind of guilt...maybe you should do away with it, you know? We won’t get upset with you. Well, I won’t get upset with you. I understand completely where you are coming from. While I myself wouldn’t want to get married, I understand the yearning for others...to understand you." Cass told her and Fiona tensed.
"What do you mean, do away with it?" Fiona asked and Cass felt his heart begin to throb in his chest. It was now. Now was the time. He could feel like everything had worked up to this moment. His mouth felt a little dry, his hands growing clammy.
"We should...get a divo-"
"Fifi?" It was Ava. Of fucking course it was Ava, and he just knew the dumb idiot woman was going to get the wrong fucking idea again. He didn’t even look in her direction, knowing that she was going to flee. Grumbling as Fiona looked at her in shock, the same damn way a cheater would if they got caught, Cass raised his hand and with magic, pulled the woman about to flee away.
"Don’t you fucking dare. Sit your ass down, Ava. I’m not stealing your girlfriend." Cass growled at her. Angry because she had interrupted their moment, but also angry that he was now a true mediator between the two.
Taking a moment to look over Lady Ava, he could tell that she wasn’t doing well at all. She had more tear streaks down her face then Fiona, her cheeks pink from her wiping them away quickly. Unlike Fiona, she didn’t look ugly when she cried, which was a mark against her, but she looked genuinely devastated. Ruined.
Like her whole world was crumbling around her. She was trembling, and while unlike Fiona she was still put together, Cass was willing to believe that had more to do with how she had been raised by a noble family than a mark against her feelings in this regard.
Lady Ava had to be perfect in a completely different way then Fiona. Both women had a lot of pressure on their shoulders in a similar, but different way. It was probably how the two women had bonded in the first place, and then their feelings had developed further. Lady Ava knew that she couldn’t really choose Fiona. Knew that she, like Fiona, was going to be obligated to marry and have children.
Cass could see it in her expression, in the sadness in her eyes. It was...horrible to see, especially since Cass knew of a different world where persecution still actively happened, still was rampant, but he didn’t live in a place where the killing was almost government mandated.
People were allowed to be people, but here? They were too public of figures for that to be the case.
Cass’ sigh felt like a piece of his soul was leaving his body.
"You two are depressing me." Cass told them, and both women flinched. "Ava, I can’t believe that for even a second you thought that she was making a move on me. Honestly. Women disgust me." Cass told her. "While I find you to be pretty creatures, there is no way I would let any one of you kiss me besides on the cheek. Unless a weapon was involved." Cass said out loud and watched as Lady Ava turned several shades of red. Fiona smacked his arm.
"Hey. That’s mean to me." Fiona said. "We had to kiss on our wedding day." Cass nodded.
"Yes. A weapon was involved." Cass agreed and Fiona grumbled, complaining slightly. Cass sighed again. "Why now are you two getting into your feelings about this? What triggered this?" He asked, knowing that they were going to dance around this. They’d been dancing around each other for so damn long, why would it change now?
Lady Ava sat next to Cass, twisting her fingers, playing with them nervously. It was only then that Cass had noticed how terrible the tips of her fingers looked. Like she was plucking and peeling the skin back on them. Gross.
"I...I just feel like the end is coming." Lady Ava said quietly. Cass felt a shiver run down his spine. He did not like hearing that from the next saintess. It was far too fucking ominous. "With this last dungeon...that one was about you. We’ve finally gone through all of the hero party, and now...with the temple calling everyone here I just...I’ve had so much fun being with everyone, being outside of the temple, getting to know so many people and speaking to everyone. Even with my doubts and fear and...my moments of insanity, I’ve loved every moment." She swallowed. "My Father and I had a talk last night. He’s picked out several men to be my husbands. I don’t have a choice. Once the demon king is dealt with...I have to be a good saintess and fulfill my end of the deal." Lady Ava said.
Cass felt sympathy. That was always the case. That was always going to be Lady Ava’s job, whether she wanted it or not. Fiona sniffed.
"And I’m sure that piece of shit is going to want to do something once the demon king is defeated. I can feel it. I got a letter requesting my presence for dinner tonight. I don’t want to go. I can feel it, Cass. They’re going to start separating us. While we did start this argument because of...what I did, it just blew up." Fiona said, sniffing, and then her eyes were spilling over again. "What are we supposed to do? The world is literally working against us. I feel like even a message from the gods wouldn’t change this." Fiona said and Cass frowned.
He wasn’t quite so sure about that, but he could understand why she had said it. It would take a big push, from somewhere they were least expecting for things to change. The girls were getting antsy. He understood. With the future looming above them, if things went as planned, yeah, the world would continue and they would have obligations to complete.
Cass sighed.
"I’ll do my best to help." Cass found himself saying. "I’ve already considered that I need to take over the Dukedom, but I’ll try to move my plans forward. I was being sneaky, but maybe I need to make some bigger moves." Cass said and both girls turned towards him, looking shocked.
"What? You’ll help us?" Lady Ava asked, shocked. "You hate me." She told him and Cass felt his lips twitch.
"Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I should treat you the same way those fuckers are." Cass said. "I’m not them, and I just don’t think it’s right. My grandfather also promised me the Dukedom, and pulled it away. Honestly, it’s just getting what I’m owed." Cass told her. "Think of it as me using you two as an excuse." Cass could see the confusion on Lady Ava’s face before it diffused into relief.
She reached out, wrapping her arms around Cass and giving him a squeeze.
"I’m so sorry for everything I did. Really. You are more than anything that asshole said to me. I understand why the gods chose you. I really do. You and Fiona...compliment each other." Lady Ava said, her words stuttering before she got them out. Cass chuckled.
"You don’t need to kiss my ass, Ava. It’s okay. I doubt that we’ll ever truly get along." Cass told her and Lady Ava pulled back, sniffing. She looked terribly sad at that, but also like she accepted it.
"I think it’ll be hard. We...the blood in our veins just doesn’t want to get along, does it?" She asked softly and Cass, for the first time, considered that seriously. There was a chance that was the case. That no matter how hard they tried, there were some things that would just never work.
He gave a soft sigh.
"Hmm, maybe. Now please, dry your eyes. I’m going to get in trouble with everyone if they find me not crying while two ladies are. I can feel the gods glaring at me now." Cass said and he got a sudden stab of heat in his mark. He hissed. "Like that." He muttered. Lady Ava’s eyes were wide as she stared at him.
"You’ve spoken to them already?" She asked quietly and Cass nodded.
"Have you?" He asked and she shook her head. She shifted nervously.
"I’m...scared." She admitted and Cass blinked, before another, equally heavy sigh left him. Ah fuck. He should charge a babysitting fee.