Chapter 219: The audacity of these fools
Cass didn’t think it was crazy that he was grumpy. He felt he had earned the right to be.
How dare they think that either one of them could sit with him on his side of the carriage after all the shit they had pulled? Absolutely not. And how dare they think they could argue about who got the right to sit with him? Absolutely not.
They could both go fuck themselves, as far as he was concerned.
Cass sat on his side of the carriage that he had earned with crossed arms as he stared at the two guilty parties on the other side. They had tried to turn it into an argument, even tried bargaining. But when Sir Forsythe and Ser Hune got involved, both not caring that they were heroes, that was their lord, and they would throw hands.
Ser Hune was a new addition, but a pleasant one. The only reason Sir Sanders wasn’t involved was because his wife had it. He was support if she needed it.
He was a great husband. These idiots could learn a thing or two from him. Cass might have said that quiet enough that only they could hear it, and watched as Lucian’s nostrils flared in anger, and Vespertine at least looked ashamed for his behaviour.
So, Cass was alone on his side of the carriage, his legs up, his back resting against the side of the carriage wall, while the two other men looked...not uncomfortable because there was enough space for them to spread out, but...unhappy.
Lucian looked like he was pouting, while Vespertine had his hat on and was using that to cover his face.
Cass was glaring at them. He didn’t trust them, not after he was sure that Lady Ava and Fiona were boinking in their carriage. The way that the two of them had looked at each other when they thought no one was looking...it was a damn miracle that they hadn’t been caught by more people before now. Cass was going to have to warn Fiona again to make sure it wasn’t as obvious.
That might have left a sour taste in their mouths, but Cass wasn’t some damn replacement. He sure as shit wasn’t up for doing anything like that with them in this carriage. It was a sacred place. Of travel.
He didn’t care that he had really liked the carriage scenes he’d read in several books. Even the BL ones.
Speaking of, now was a perfect time to read. He didn’t care if Vespertine judged him, and Lucian had already done the unspeakable. He’d read out loud over his shoulder. Cass could relax in front of them completely, and they wouldn’t be allowed to do shit to him.
Cass pulled out his book, the dragon and demon one he’d been reading in front of Lucian before, and Lucian’s eyes widened.
"Are you seriously reading that in front of us?" Lucian asked, shocked, and Cass snorted.
"I’ve read it in front of you before, what makes now any different?" Cass asked, giving him a look. Vespertine stared at the book, not understanding why Lucian was in a tizzy all of sudden. The carriage rocked and Cass had to brace himself against the wall for a second. Lucian frowned.
"Well, that was before I found out you had demon blood. Now that book is..." Lucian trailed off, and then groaned. "Why the hell would you be reading porn in front of us, Cassian?" He asked, a little upset. Vespertine’s eyes went wide as Cass swallowed thickly.
"It’s not porn. It’s called romance." Cass defended and Lucian glowered at him.
"What I read wasn’t porn? That was a sex scene, Cassian. Between two men!" He protested and Vespertine’s jaw dropped. Cass got defensive.
"So? You’re the one who talks all about that kind of stuff anyways, and there is nothing wrong with fantasies, are there? Plus, the book isn’t just sex scenes. They just help accentuate the soft moments and the moments of tension in the novel. It isn’t like half of the book is just sex." Cass defended his book.
He hadn’t finished it, but so far, that rang true. Lucian adjusted his arms, plumping up his chest. Cass didn’t know if it was intentional or in anger, but Cass found his gaze drawn there either way. Fucker. Lucian let out a snort as he noticed Cass’ gaze lingering.
"You can’t even keep your eyes off of me." Lucian grumbled. "But you won’t let either one of us sit near you." Lucian was clearly upset and throwing a bit of a tantrum. Cass laughed.
"Of course. I can look, Lucian, and that’s all fine and dandy, but touching? You never fucking ask. You just do it." Cass growled, getting pissed as well. All calm and good vibes had faded. Lucian huffed.
"You put off all the signals as if you want me to touch you!"
"You should still fucking ask! Use your damn words!" Cass yelled, and Lucian flinched, blinking. Cass swung his gaze to Vespertine. "Don’t think you’re free from this lecture either. Both of you are just so fucking used to getting what you want that you don’t even think about consent. Fuckers." Cass muttered darkly, turning back to his book. "At least in my books it’s just a fantasy. Fantasy doesn’t mean that I want it in reality." Cass told them, giving them a pointed look.
"I...what am I supposed to do then when even your emotions are telling me that I’m allowed to touch you?" Lucian asked and Cass groaned.
"What did I just fucking say? Ask! Use your damn words! Are your ears just for fucking show? Or did you mean nothing of what you said in the dungeon?" Cass snapped and Lucian paled.
"N-No. I meant every word. Do you want me to-" Cass rolled his eyes before he slammed his book closed.
"Did I say I wanted you on your knees? No? Then stay seated." Cass ordered and Lucian froze. His eyes were wide, Vespertine’s eyes were wide, and Cass ran his hand through his hair. "Honestly, why do you two make me feel like I’m the fucking bad guy in this situation? We’re all married to the same fucking woman. Vespertine, it was only a few days ago that you were confiding in me about how you felt about finding out that Fiona is cheating on us. Do you two not view this as a betrayal as well? I do, but that doesn’t seem to matter to you two at all." Cass told them angrily.
Vespertine, who had been rather quiet so far, even as they were trying to negotiate to let someone sit next to Cass, turned his head down towards his lap. He was playing with his fingers there, and finally, he spoke.
"I still have those feelings. I do still feel betrayed but...I just...it’s complicated." He said. Cass huffed.
"So Fiona was right? You’re just using me as a rebound?" Cass asked and Vespertine’s head shot up so quickly his hat came off. He fumbled, catching it and holding it in his hands.
"What? Absolutely not! Who in their right mind would ever refer to you as a rebound? That’s insane!" Vespertine shouted, emotional, and then grew embarrassed that he had yelled. "I never would consider you a rebound." He said a little quieter and Cass stared at him.
While he was saying it with his lips, Cass wasn’t sure if he could actually believe him. How the hell could he? He had been there while the man had sobbed, and he’d asked for a kiss. They were out of the dungeon now, and even inside of the dungeon he had spoken to him about his concerns about his wife. Their wife.
"You do understand why it is hard for me to take you seriously when you say that, right? This isn’t even referring to the rumours that circle you, because I know the truth when it comes to them. This refers to your history of treating me like I’m worthless, belittling me, and making me feel like shit. How the hell would I be able to trust either of you when you say you have feelings for me when it feels like you are just trying to use me?" Cass could tell that his question had really shaken both of them.
Cass sighed, shaking his head.
"Neither of you have even considered the shit I’m feeling. What I’ve been going through. You’ve both been rather selfish in that regard. While I might have time and space between your actions because of my break in time, that doesn’t mean that I forgive you for your actions before this." Cass closed his mouth, biting his lip before he exhaled slowly. "I wanted friends. None of you would even come near me before I got hurt." Cass said quietly, his chest squeezing tightly.
That was for him, and for Lord Blackburn.
The looks of shock, followed by extreme guilt were something that Cass had earned, and he sighed.
"Just...take this time to reflect on your actions. You’ve been smacked around enough by Fiona in the dungeon, so I’ll leave the most recent transgression against me alone, but reflect. How the hell do you think I could trust either of you? Lucian, you barely act human, and it feels like you mostly do so to benefit you. We’ve already discussed what I want from you, but I expect you to get to work as soon as we arrive in the capital or nothing is coming from us. I mean it. I’ll ride this bond out, and then I’ll cut you off." Lucian looked ill hearing the words from his mouth.
"N-No! I, I meant my words!" He said, panicking. Cass glared at him.
"Then put your money where your fucking mouth is. Prove to me that this isn’t just all for show and I do mean something to you. I don’t have time to waste on dragons who just want to play with my heart. I’ve already lived a long time as a human, and alone at that. I don’t need others if they aren’t going to mean anything to me." Cass turned his gaze to Vespertine, who flinched. "I doubt I need to tell the social butterfly what he needs to do to prove himself." Cass said and Vespertine flinched again.
"I...I can’t cut off all of my blood donors." He said quietly and Cass felt his eyes widen.
"I don’t care about the blood donors. That has nothing to do with what I said. Vespertine, Edgar, Fiona of all people thought you were trying to rebound with me. That alone told me that the relationship between you two is pretty much over. If she thought that, who else do you think would think that? You need to think over your feelings and think about if you even like me at all. Or if I’m just what you view as convenient." Cass felt his chest squeeze. "Or if the fact that I’m a hero has changed your feelings for me." Vespertine’s eyes widened at Cass’ words.
He looked like he wanted to refute them, argue, but when Cass raised an eyebrow at him, he grew silent. Cass felt like he had appropriately told them both off, and opened his book again.
"Think about those things while we go to the capital. I’m sure by the time we get home again you’ll have at least some answers." Cass muttered, turning towards the world on the pages before him.
Maybe they would learn some common sense too. Cass winced, his chest aching. Damn it. This was why he normally just left when things got complicated. He hated having these conversations. They never made him feel good. Like he was begging others to like him for him. He hated that.
They should just already know his worth. He shouldn’t have to beg them to notice it.