Chapter 182: Vespertine has some questions
It was shortly after Lucian had run off to start the fire, Lady Ava and Fiona were working on dinner for everyone else, and he’d been left with his own thoughts that Lord Ridgewood and Vespertine came back.
Vespertine’s face was still scrunched up, still sour, and when he looked towards Cass, he shook his head as if he had given up.
Lord Ridgewood’s expression hadn’t changed, but he made a pointed decision to avoid Cass. Cass was a little surprised by that, but Vespertine trudged towards him, not leaving him out of the loop this time.
"He won’t admit that he did anything wrong. I’m sorry. I tried everything but beating him since I know I can’t win in a fight. I told him to just avoid you if he can’t keep control of interest. Especially right now." Vespertine raised his hand, running it through his blonde locks.
He’d taken off his sun cover ever since they had entered the dungeon, but now that nightfall had truly fallen, he seemed more relieved. There had been a little line in between his eyebrows, a small tick of worry but it was gone now. In its place was pure, absolute anger and confusion.
"Gods above, why the hell is this group so fucked up?" Vespertine muttered quietly and Cass nearly choked on the cookie he’d been eating. He started coughing, and Vespertine grew concerned. He crouched down, gently patting Cass’ back as Cass tried his best not to choke.
Cass didn’t need to look around to know that Lucian was coming back at an alarming, inhuman speed.
"Cassian? What did you do, Edgar?" Lucian bellowed, pissed, and Vespertine sputtered.
"What did I-? I did nothing! He was eating just fine and then he started choking!" Vespertine said, stepping back because he didn’t want to get into a fight with Lucian. Cass finally managed to gather his breath through the cookie crumbs and felt embarrassed at their open hostility.
"Did you find what you needed, Lucian?" Cass asked and Lucian glanced at him.
"No. I didn’t." His voice was taut. He hadn’t softened in the slightest when speaking to Cass. Cass smiled.
"Then go do that. Vespertine and I were just chatting and what he said surprised me. That’s all. I’m fine. Just stupid." Cass muttered and Lucian growled.
’You are not stupid. Don’t you dare call yourself that. There is no way you are. You lack nothing in intelligence." Lucian defended angrily, and Cass got a snap shot that Lucian would defend himself from himself. Cass felt his lips turn up in a smile.
"Oh? Is that right?" Cass knew he sounded a little condescending, and Lucian’s gaze narrowed. He bent, nearly fully at the waist to drop down to Cass’ level where he sat on the pallets. His long, black hair shifted, a sheet of midnight that blocked his view of Vespertine as he did so.
"That is right. Cassian. Or do I need to prove it?" Lucian’s voice dropped low, dangerously low and Cass felt his eyes widen. What the hell did that mean? What the hell was he implying?
Lucian’s gaze roamed Cass’ rather shocked expression before his eyes creased at the corners as he smiled. Cass sucked in as he realised that Lucian’s gaze was reptilian and Lucian slowly blinked his first set of eyelids, the white covering his gaze until it was slightly milky and then pulled back.
Cass could hear his heartbeat in his ears.
Lucian’s hand touching his cheek was a bit of a surprise, and Cass jerked slightly and Lucian laughed. "Almost as curious as I am. Are you sure you don’t have any dragon blood in you?" Cass was about to answer when Lucian leaned in further. "Or, you could have other dragon parts in you?" Cass nearly choked again.
Lucian tapped Cass’ cheek with a cheeky grin, pulling away as he wrapped around Cass like a proud cat.
Lucian disappeared, going back to what he had been doing before, laughing loudly as he did so and Cass was left, flushed, embarrassed and Vespertine was staring at him, his eyes narrowed. Vespertine crossed his arms, staring at Cass who was now turning his gaze towards the crumbling cookie in his hand. His mouth was too dry to even swallow.
Vespertine crossed his arms, staring at Cass with his slightly glowing blue eyes and Cass didn’t know what to say. Cass watched as Vespertine opened his mouth, closed it, and then sighed. He turned, staring at the two women who, until now, he had tried to not let them be alone together.
Cass had noticed. He doubted that he was the only one. The huge argument between Vespertine and Fiona certainly hadn’t helped.
"Am I...overreacting by being upset that they’re together?" Vespertine asked quietly and then, in the same breath, asked another question. "And is there something really going on between you and Lucian? Like, truly? You two aren’t playing around?" Cass was caught by surprise. He didn’t think Vespertine would ask him these types of questions.
It was shocking enough that Cass had to glance around, making sure that no one else was near him. Lord Ridgewood was as far away as he could be, on the other side of the small camp they had set up with Lady Ava and Fiona in between them. Cass sighed.
"Come sit down so we can speak quietly." Cass murmured and Vespertine didn’t need another invitation. The man rushed to sit down next to Cass, his hands falling to his knees, his grip tight as he waited for Cass to speak. He was watching Cass as he thought about what to say.
"First off, this might be slightly rude and given the fact that you’ve already cried to me about this but...did you truly love her, V-Edgar?" Cass thought it would be a little cruel to ask this kind of question to his last name. At the very least he could say his first name for this.
Cass watched as Vespertine’s throat worked, his eyes watering as he took a few deep breaths before responding.
"I...I was pretty sure I did. I haven’t felt anything like what I felt for Fiona before. At least..." He trailed off, not looking at Cass for a moment. "I don’t know if it was hero worship or not. Maybe it was. I’m not sure. The Vespertine family, like I told you, are supposed to take care of the heroes that the gods choose. I guess a small part of me considered it my duty to marry her, but I did have genuine affection for her. Was it love? I don’t know. Is someone like me capable of love?"
Cass winced at his words. Shit. While it was tragic, and a hard thing to hear from a man so pretty and it was completely by design. The other part was that Cass remembered those words from the book.
They were from a scene that Vespertine had with Fiona, or was supposed to have with Fiona before he revealed what he was to her. Cass felt his chest tighten as he recalled what Fiona had told him.
He was capable of love. He was able to do so. No one wasn’t allowed to love. Everyone was capable of love. It wasn’t a mushy statement, but it was a sweet sentiment. One that Cass wasn’t quite sure he believed.
Given his and Lord Blackburn’s lived experience, he couldn’t say that everyone was capable of love. If that was true, Lord Blackburn wouldn’t have turned out as a villain, or at least it would have made him less likely to be one. Cass wouldn’t have been abandoned with his sister and forced to work jobs from as soon as he was able to just to get him and his sister out of hard times.
Honestly, Cass had asked himself the same question before. He wasn’t sure if he was able to do it either.
"I don’t know." Cass said, wincing internally as he wasn’t able to lie and tell him everything that Fiona had told him to soothe him. He wasn’t Fiona, and if they did have this kind of conversation, Cass didn’t want to take her thunder away from her. Plus, if he said anything like that it would sound insincere. Everything about Cass, about Lord Blackburn screamed that he wasn’t a ’everyone is capable of love’ kind of guy.
Vespertine looked down at his hands on his knees, sighing.
"Right." He muttered and Cass frowned.
"I don’t even know if I’m capable, and honestly, between us, who is the more normal one?" Cass asked, joking lightly and Vespertine looked up, meeting Cass’ red gaze with his blue one. Vespertine’s lips twitched slightly. "I can’t give you aunty sappy kind of answers because they would just sound insincere. As for your first question, I don’t think so. Even if your answer was that you didn’t love her at all, I would say the same thing. Feeling betrayed has nothing to do with love. Though love can make it hurt worse." Cass said, his jaw tightening.
"Is that so?" Vespertine said quietly. "I...I think I know what you mean." His voice was soft, quiet and Cass wondered what the other Duke families had been like. His had certainly been quite awful, but what had Lord Ridgewood and Vespertine gone through?
What made them all decide that marrying Fiona was the best option?
"As for your second question, " Cass said, his spine straightening, "that is none of your business." He didn’t mean to sound sharp, but Vespertine’s eyes widened as he turned to look at Cass.
"You two aren’t joking? And Fiona is okay with it?" He asked, shocked. Cass felt his cheeks heat.
"Are you seriously about to say something homophobic right now? After all you’ve done to me?" Cass whispered angrily and Vespertine’s gaze widened. He raised his hands.
"What? No! I’m not going to say that! I’m talking more about how you two are an item while still married to another woman!" Vespertine hissed, his eyes wide. Cass felt his heart ache. Yeah. That was a bit of a fucked up thing. Cass was trying to remedy it, but not for that reason!
"Uh, well," Cass was trying to come up with a good response, his mind racing until a large clanking sound nearby made both him and Vespertine jump. They had been so focused on their own conversation that they hadn’t realised that Lucian had come back.
Lucian, for his part, dropped everything he’d gathered and crouched down before the two men, his shirt falling open and showing off his chest, the skin there, and the strength of his thighs. Cass was doing his best not to stare, but he knew that Lucian could tell he was. Shit.