Chapter 180: An insensitive bastard
"You look a lot better." They were the first words out of Lady Ava’s mouth before anyone else could say anything. She moved towards Cass as if to grab his hands, but stopped a few steps away. She scanned his face, worry in every part of her, before she let out a relieved sigh. "You look a lot better. Good. I was worried, you know. Very worried. I’m glad speaking to Fifi helped." She said the last part quietly, very quietly.
Cass knew that Lucian could hear her, but that didn’t seem to matter to her. She looked as if she wanted to hug him, and Cass, feeling like the bigger person, offered her a hand.
Lady Ava’s eyes widened but she didn’t hesitate. She grabbed his hand with both of hers, giving it a squeeze. Her eyes warmed, her face broke with a smile, and she looked...
She looked better. Way better.
She wasn’t crazy, she wasn’t hurling words, she wasn’t yelling. She wasn’t even crying. She was not quite the woman he knew when he woke up, but she wasn’t quite the girl that had been destroying her future with her own hands either. She was something else, and Cass didn’t think it was a bad thing.
Did he fully forgive her? No. But he could respect self growth, even if he wasn’t feeling like he wanted to be involved in her new life.
"So, what was that?" Lord Ridgewood asked. Ruining any moment that Lady Ava and Cass were having. Lady Ava’s face dropped, and Cass caught a glimpse of the person Lady Ava had turned into. Her hands tightened on Cass’ before she took a deep, calming breath and Cass watched her control her emotions.
Cass slid his gaze to Vespertine and noticed how he was watching Lady Ava. Almost like he was willing her to do that. Cass was impressed.
From his last conversation with Vespertine he had seemed so exhausted and tired of Lady Ava, but now?
He was showing that he had taken the time to care for her, notice the issue, and actually be the big brother figure that he claimed to be instead of just shipping her off to the temple for her to be their problem. Good for him.
"Are you for real, Gideon? Are you that insensitive?" Lucian was the one who spoke, anger lacing his words. "Cassian just gained a sense of normalcy and that’s what you fucking open with? You weren’t this callous when it was everyone else, including me, so why are you like this with Cassian?" Lucian was spiked up like a pissed off cat.
Cass was a little surprised at how both Lady Ava and Lucian were acting, but when he looked at Vespertine, he noticed the tension in his body, the way he was angling himself towards Lord Ridgewood and how his normally flat, blue eyes had a slight glow to them. Fiona wasn’t much better.
Like Lucian, she wasn’t hiding her anger. It was clearly written across her face. Her arms were crossed, she had taken a step towards him, and she looked ready to fight.
Cass was a bit taken aback by everyone’s flip, but he shouldn’t be too surprised. He had said he was going to play into how pitiful he was to gain sympathy. He just didn’t think the response would be this quick.
Lord Ridgewood looked...confused? Like he wasn’t certain as to why everyone was attempting to jump down his throat. Cass couldn’t blame the man. It was a rather sudden reaction, and he himself was okay with the question. Even if it had felt like his heart was going to puncture through his chest, he knew that they were going to ask about it.
He and Fiona had discussed it. Maybe there was a part of him that had thought they would have waited until Cass wasn’t nearby to overhear, but clearly, he was wrong. Lord Ridgewood was...entitled to some kind of an answer. Whether it was true or not was a completely different question entirely.
"I...what? What’s wrong with what I asked? I don’t think I’m giving Cass a different treatment compared to everyone else?" He said and Fiona scoffed. Snorting, sniffing, angry.
"Don’t you dare. You are. You have since we started this journey to the dungeon. In fact, you’ve been avoiding being near Cass this whole time, or have been trying to protect me from him. Why? Cass might be a powerful mage, a very powerful mage, but physically, he’s weaker than probably Ava. He’s got health conditions that we, as a group, didn’t know about until his body literally collapsed. Any normal person would feel sympathy for someone like that. I certainly did." Fiona told him and Lord Ridgewood’s eyes widened further. He looked a little pale.
"I-of course I felt bad for him, but that and the issue at hand are not related." Lord Ridgewood complained. He obviously hadn’t anticipated the whole group ganging up on him, even if Lady Ava and Vespertine weren’t verbally joining in.
"How-"
"Fiona." Cass called, swallowing. He needed to stop this before it got out of hand. While Cass didn’t really like how he’d phrased it, at its core, Lord Ridgewood had the right to ask. Fiona snapped her gaze towards him, her eyes angry. Bright. Lucian’s grip around him tightened.
"You aren’t seriously about to ask us to calm down, are you?" Lucian snarled and Cass chuckled.
"I am. You’re overreacting." Cass told them and both Fiona and Lucian huffed. It was eerie, how similar it was, and even in this situation Cass nearly smiled.
"We are not overreacting! He’s being an ass!" Lucian declared loudly and Cass winced at the volume of his voice.
"He could have phrased his question better, yes, but he’s entitled to an answer. You all are. That was the whole reason Fiona and I spoke in private, wasn’t it?" Cass prompted, and noticed how pointing that out made them uncomfortable, but also seemed to soothe them slightly. "He’s our companion, Fiona’s husband, and it isn’t as if we all haven’t asked things poorly before. Myself included." Cass said and no one could argue that point.
Cass slid his gaze to Lord Ridgewood, wondering how he was reacting to everything. Lord Ridgewood appeared to still be in shock, but for completely different reasons now. He was staring at Cass as if he was staring at some kind of foreign beast. Like he’d never truly seen Cass before now.
Cass wasn’t the one who could make that kind of call. In all likelihood, Lord Ridgewood had not seen Cass, nor Lord Blackburn for who he truly was. No one really had. Cass could argue that the only person who might have seen a single smidgen of the kind of person Lord Blackburn had been from all of these people around him was Sir Forsythe. Everyone else?
Who the hell knows. Cass certainly didn’t have all the painful memories of each and every time Lord Blackburn might have opened up to them only to be denied. Lord Blackburn seemed to be keeping most of those close to his chest, and Cass couldn’t blame him. It was hard to let people see the damaged parts of yourself.
Cass didn’t think he was the exception to the rule either. He was pretty bog standard in that regard.
Lord Ridgewood met Cass’ gaze and some kind of understanding crossed his expression. His eyes softened, and he inclined his head. He acknowledged that Cass had gotten him out of a sticky situation, and it was Cass’ turn to be surprised. He didn’t think the other man would have responded well to Cass’ interference, but he was.
Lord Ridgewood had surprised him as well.
"I...appreciate how kind you are being, Cass, given the situation. The others have also made good points. Maybe I have...been harsher on you, but you have turned around and been very magnanimous in the face of my cruelty. I too, should have put my worry over why we’re in such an unfamiliar location behind my concern for your wellbeing." Fiona seemed pleased with this sudden change, but Cass wasn’t so sure.
"It’s...totally reasonable in my eyes to be concerned. I would be too, if the roles were reversed. It’s suspicious." Cass said and Lucian growled.
"No it’s not." He said angrily, and Cass sighed.
"It is, Lucian, and there’s no way around it. It’s not like this is a familiar scene to anyone." Cass gulped and glanced at Fiona. She was shaking her head, but it was too fucking late. Lord Ridgewood had partially forced his hand, and he felt better after he’d spoken to Fiona. He could tell another lie. "I spoke to the gods after I took my first tumble and fell unconscious." Cass said, not revealing Lady Ava’s ability to see souls, since that wasn’t his truth to tell, but Cass could see a knowing cross in Vespertine’s gaze. He knew he was a hero. He could kind of see where this was going.
All of this was new news to Lord Ridgewood, whose expression furrowed.
"What?" He asked, clearly shocked. Cass gave a nervous laugh.
"Yeah. I spoke to a few of them. I won’t disclose what we talked about, but during that time they shared with me...something I hadn’t considered and it’s honestly shaken me quite a bit since I’ve come back from it." Cass told them and Lucian gave him a squeeze. "The gods are in control of several worlds. More than I think I could ever understand, and there are more gods than just the ones we worship here." Cass said and Lady Ava gasped. Vespertine looked shocked as well, but Lord Ridgewood?
His face had hardened at that statement as Cass swallowed, looking away from him.
"I was shown a dream. Where I was a different person, I lived out their life. The gods weren’t exactly happy with how I had lived my life up until this point, so they showed me another’s life. Similar, but not quite the same. This is...this is where he died." Cass could barely say the last line above a whisper.
"Oh Cass." Lady Ava whispered. Cass had a feeling that Lady Ava might understand more than he was saying. She had, after all, seen his soul leave his body.
"Why would the gods show you that?" Lord Ridgewood said. It wasn’t cruel, it wasn’t judgmental, it was just that. A question. Cass felt his throat grow tight.
"I think they...wanted me to understand how fucked up my path in life was, and give me some perspective. To make sure I didn’t...continue down the path I was going." It wasn’t a lie. It really wasn’t. That was Cass’ whole fucking mission. It was just...twisted slightly.
"You weren’t-" Lady Ava tried to say but Cass’ jaw tightened, and he shook his head aggressively.
"I was." He stated firmly. That seemed to surprise the others. The conviction behind his words as he spoke. "I was going down the wrong path. They were right about that part. I don’t agree with how they did it, but I won’t deny that they were right about why they did it. I can’t say I understand the gods, since that’s practically blasphemy." Cass said and Lucian sighed.
"Eh. I think I have a more nuanced take on the gods, but I can understand why you wouldn’t want to tell the others your true thoughts." Cass felt his cheeks heat. He glanced towards Vespertine. He couldn’t say he wasn’t worried about his response, but Vespertine seemed thoughtful.
"You wouldn’t be the first one who the gods had visited and came away with a ’why me?’ mentality. I doubt you’ll be the last. That only tells me that you have a rather serious role to play, Cassian. For them to visit you personally..." He trailed off and Cass knew damn well what he was trying to get at. Cass swallowed, while Lord Ridgewood made a soft, contemplative noise in his throat.
"That would...explain some things. The sudden change in your behaviour and a few other oddities I’ve noticed. I can’t say it’s a change for the worse, but I was curious." Lord Ridgewood said and Cass felt his face go pale.
Lord Ridgewood might have let his words slip, but that only told Cass something far more sinister. Lord Ridgewood had been watching Cass. Cass hadn’t even noticed it either. Or he’d been so stuck in his own worries that he’d slipped up.
"I, uh-" Fiona jumped in, saving Cass from having to explain himself.
"Cass spoke to me in more depth about it, and said it felt like he was living the other man’s life. As the hero, I can say that would make sense since the Gods would have wanted him to experience it personally. Condensed into a tiny fraction of a moment. Only the gods could have done something like that." Fiona said and the three more religious members of the party nodded in unison.
It was a bit creepy.
"Yes. Showing futures is only written in the scriptures as something the gods can do. Demons are known for manipulation magic, as Cass had pointed out, but they wouldn’t be able to do something like that in such a short timeframe. If I may, how long was the person’s life you witnessed?" Lord Ridgewood asked, but this time, there was a gentleness to his tone that had been missing the first time. Cass swallowed.
"27 years." Cass whispered. A pin could have dropped in the silence that followed.