Chapter 142: A begging man
Cass ignored the large new shadow he had gained even after he had arrived at his rooms. Sam sat him down in his chair at his desk and slowly patiently, rewrapped his hands. It was a long process since Sam took his time.
He made sure that he had more of the balm that the Doctor had made him smeared all over his hands first. It was methodical in nature, and Cass wondered if maybe this was a polite way to get back at Draken.
Sam wasn’t yelling, he wasn’t making a scene, but what he was doing was ignoring that the other man was even in the room with them when Cass could feel how big his presence was. It was honestly a miracle that Sam’s hands were so stable as he continued to work.
Draken wasn’t angry at Sam, or Cass didn’t think so. He was just a dragon, and feeling emotions, so everything felt violent. Cass wondered if Sam had ever had any dealings with dragons before. After all, he was handling working with this strange, medley crew quite well. He didn’t think other humans would be able to.
Cass didn’t count himself, of course, since technically, Lord Blackburn wasn’t all human, and he was a human from a different planet entirely. He was practically a different being of existence. They would probably say that he was.
He was also under a sneaking suspicion that the ’gods’ had interfered with his emotional stability. He had known he was getting worked up, rightly so, over everything that was happening and going on. But now? He felt...grounded in a way that didn’t quite feel natural. He could tell that whatever the ’manager’ had done to him was wearing off, but it wasn’t happening at a fast pace.
So, he didn’t consider that he was taking this easily. Sam, however? He was rolling with every punch. Even Sir Forsythe had some doubts, and Byron didn’t count since he was part of the oddity crew.
Sam finished up bandaging his hands and moved back, admiring his work before he nodded to himself, his hands on his hips, and smiled.
"Alright, my Lord. I shall go fetch your dinner. While I am gone, I am sure you can have your chat with Draken." It did kind of sound like Sam was ordering him around, and Cass gave him a raised eyebrow look. Sam’s face flushed. "O-Of course, only if you want to!" Flustered, he finished, and Cass chuckled.
"It was my plan." Cass told him warmly and Sam dropped into a bow before racing off, giving Draken a strange look before he left the room.
The whole time all of this was happening, Draken was standing in front of the desk. His hands clasped in front of his body, his gaze downcast, and his presence filling the room. Cass almost felt like he was going to choke on the emotions radiating off of him. If he had any doubt that Draken was a human before, it was gone. No human could have projected such a crushing weight onto anyone else without actively using magic. Cass was sure that Draken wasn’t.
"Okay. Sam is gone, I’m sure Byron isn’t nearby, and Sir Forsythe is at the doors. What did you want to talk about, Draken?" Cass leaned back in his chair, watching him. Draken’s throat worked, swallowing thickly a few times. He was hiding his gaze from Cass, and Cass frowned.
When he did slowly raise his gaze, he found out why. Draken was pissed. Really, truly pissed, and hurt? Cass didn’t understand why that feeling was there. Or, he did know, he was just ignoring it.
"Why did you kiss him?" Cass felt his eyes widen. What? How? He knew of the bond, but he didn’t think that he was able to-
Cass realised that Draken had been fishing, and Cass’s shocked expression told him everything that he needed to know. Draken’s eyes poured tears, but his face was twisted into anger. He was pissed, and Cass was worried what that would mean for him.
"Uh, Draken, I-"
"That despicable bloodsucker!" Draken bellowed. The air filled with the sound leaving his lips, and Cass realised that he’d fucked up. He had begun to feel comfortable with Draken, maybe even...safe. He shouldn’t have. He was a mythical beast. A giant, aggressive beast of a man who had been on his best behaviour because he wanted something from Cass.
How he had forgotten that, he had no clue. He was going to blame the ’gods’ until he came up with a better idea. But right now? He was not liking how Draken was making him feel. Like he was in the wrong for something he, once again, had no control over. Lord Blackburn had kissed Vespertine, all to get something out of him. Cass was going to turn him down, but he was a passenger in this body who just happened to have more control most of the time.
He was getting kind of tired of this ’how could you do this?’ bullshit. Or the assumption that he had done something wrong.
Draken noticed a shift in Cass’ expression, but it became obvious when Cass crossed his arms in his chair. He was tired of tolerating this. He’d had an exhausting day. He’d almost had a good impression of Draken. Good for him that these fuckers had a real easy time revealing who they really were.
It wasn’t Cass’ fault that Draken didn’t like what happened. They weren’t anything to each other. Cass should tell him that.
"Why are you getting upset?" Cass said, his jaw tight, his teeth grinding against each other in anger. Draken’s orange gaze flared.
"Why am-"
"This has nothing to do with you. What I do in meetings is none of your fucking business." Cass declared coldly. Draken, realising that something had gone horribly wrong, froze. The feelings in the room, pressing down on Cass’ shoulders shifted. Changing from anger into fear.
"C-Cassian, I just-"
"You just what? Wanted to show off? Be a big, bad dragon? Well, you did that. Are you happy with the outcome? Get out of my office, Draken." Draken went white. He started fumbling over his words.
"W-Wait! I wasn’t-it wasn’t intentional! I just-" Cass let out a dark laugh.
"Not intentional? So you’re telling me that you weren’t using the weight of your own emotions to try to make me feel some kind of way? No one who lets their emotions affect them that much and others are doing it by accident, Draken." Draken’s jaw tightened, and he dropped his gaze. Draken wasn’t an idiot. That was one thing that Cass wasn’t going to forget.
No one survived a war as brutal as the dragon war in one piece because they were dumb.
"Get out." Cass repeated. "If you are just going to accuse me instead of asking what happened, I don’t want to hear it. We aren’t like Lady Fiona and Vespertine. We aren’t married. This bond will fade over time. We don’t need to be closer." Cass said, all the while a sharp, slightly annoying pain filled his chest. He brushed it off.
He didn’t need feelings like that anyways.
"Cassian, I-I’m sorry! I didn’t-" Draken swallowed thickly, slamming his hands down on the desk, causing everything to shake. Cass was glad that he wasn’t leaning against it. Draken’s gaze was desperate. "I’ve never had anyone call me out on it before. I’m sorry. I...It was wrong for me to do. I just...It’s not an excuse, but I’ve been in this form for so long that my emotions broke free and I...I guess I was testing you. I didn’t realise. I’m sorry. Please don’t kick me out like this. I just...I don’t like the idea of that callous idiot putting his hands on you. You deserve better than him." Implied, obviously, was the fact that he was better.
Cass wanted to laugh.
"What makes you think that any of you are better than the other in my eyes?" Cass said and Draken’s eyes went wide. "Have you considered that all of you are on the same fucking level in my mind? There might have been a time when that was different, but you are all equally bad. Also, Draken, it’s very hypocritical of you to say that Vespertine is the worst option when you’ve literally killed humans for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. As far as I am aware, what Vespertine has done is made himself look like a floozy. How are those equivalent?"
Draken was shocked to be faced with facts. He must have thought that either Cass didn’t know the truth, or that he was just brushing it off. Admittedly, Cass had kind of forgotten, but not anymore. Not after he got angry at him for something that he himself had done to Cass. These fuckers needed to know that they didn’t have access to him whenever they wanted.
Draken, Vespertine, and Lady Fiona were included in that list. So far, Lord Ridgewood hadn’t made that list, but he wasn’t safe either. Lord Blackburn didn’t like him, so that made Cass a little sad, and very suspicious.
"I, uh." Draken’s face twisted and he dropped his head. His grip on Cass’ desk tightened, but Cass didn’t hear the wood creaking this time. "I have no excuses for my past actions. I was a younger dragon, but that doesn’t mean anything. I just...I acted without thought of the consequences. And it’s not-that isn’t why I don’t like Edgar." Draken said. "I don’t care what he does, or how he gets his meals. It’s everything else that bothers me. He doesn’t...he fakes his feelings to get what he wants. There is no doubt to me that he acted so that you would feel enough sympathy to kiss him. He probably knew we were outside." Draken murmured.
Cass felt something stir inside of him. He narrowed his gaze.
"I’m not that kind of smart. I know that. I know you are. I just...I don’t like him. He’s always rubbed me the wrong way. Doesn’t help that there is bad blood between his kind and mine." Draken muttered. "I’m sorry Cassian. Please don’t be mad at me. I really didn’t mean to push you like that. I was just feeling everything. A lot. It’s my first time I’ve felt that through the bond. It was really shocking." Cass watched as wet spot after wet spot fell on his desk. "Don’t hate me. Don’t put me on the same level as everyone else. Please stop saying that we don’t mean anything to each other. It hurts a lot." Cass felt like a monster, but the words still left his mouth.
"Draken, you’re just curious about me." Cass told him, and Draken snapped his head up, meeting Cass’ gaze. He seemed surprised that Cass knew that term, before his face crumpled.
"So? So what? Not all curiosities are temporary! Are you going to tell me that these feelings I’ve had for you are that? Do you even know how worried, how scared I was when you were barely breathing? I’m not good at hiding my feelings, Cassian!" Draken was pleading, and Cass, who had just made an oath to himself that they wouldn’t get access to him as easily, flinched.
Shit.
Sam’s knock sounded at the door and Draken pulled back, wiping at his face with his hands.
"I-I’ll leave for tonight. You should get some rest. You look really pale. He didn’t bite you, did he?" Draken asked the question before he shook his head. "No. You’re injured. He wouldn’t dare." Draken murmured, more to himself then to Cass. "Please, Cassian, just...don’t push me out of your heart yet. Give me...please give me some time." Draken whispered, before he spun and headed for the door. "He’s all yours." Draken whispered, sliding past Sam as he left the office.
Sam turned a surprised, stunned gaze to Cass, who was sure he had a similar expression. One thing was for sure, everyone was crying around Cass. He was beginning to think he was the problem.