Chapter 122: Listen, I’m not as good of a person as you are making me out to be
"Uh, well, I don’t think the gods chose us because we signed up for it, and I’m not as good of a person as you are making me out to be." Cass told the woman who was having a crisis.
Lady Fiona snorted, shaking her head but she didn’t look up at Cass. She was staring down at her hands like they had done something awful. Cass couldn’t even believe that she had for a second. Sure, there were all of the problems with Lord Blackburn, and her behaviour with Cass, but to be fair, only in this context, that was how the story was supposed to go.
It wasn’t as if Lady Fiona was out here murdering innocent people, just walking all over relatively innocent people’s names. Sure, emotional damage was terrible in its own right, Cass could attest to that, but for the story’s sake, there wasn’t a trial of bodies.
"Of course you’d say that." She muttered and Cass gave a forced laugh.
"No, I really mean it. You make it sound like I’m doing everything out of the kindness of my heart. I’m really not. It’s...a publicity stunt." Lady Fiona’s head jerked up. "I’m trying to do it to get back at my grandfather, and get the title he promised, but never gave." Her eyes widened. It wasn’t a true lie, just the blending of two truths.
He wanted the title, and he needed to repair his image. He wanted to the title to rub it in the old man’s face, and he needed to repair his image so he could get the fuck out of here. She didn’t need to know either fact.
"W-What?" She stuttered, surprise colouring her features. "Why would you donate to an orphanage for...publicity? Not many people know." She said and Cass smirked.
"The people who matter know, and it’s small steps. I can’t just jump into doing this. No one would believe me. They would all think I had ulterior motives, probably something disgusting, when in reality, I just have a lot of money, it doesn’t hurt me to donate to people who are less fortunate, and it goes along with the image of a hero in the hero party. Why wouldn’t I donate to a group who are so obviously affected by what the demon king has done?" She nodded along with his words, before her features twisted and she looked like she was in pain.
She put her head in her hands, and that was when Cass heard the first sob.
Panic filled him. He was so not good at comforting people like this. He knew, knew that Lady Fiona was not someone who cried easily. Or ever. He knew it, because despite everything else that was going on, they were similar. There.
Caspian and Fiona were similar.
Both orphans, even if Lady Fiona had a Dad, both raised by outside forces. They might have a different background, but Caspian was probably just as scrappy as Lady Fiona. He bet she had a mean right hook.
There was a reason most people hadn’t messed with Cass when he was younger, and it wasn’t just because he had an older, bigger sister. He had teeth and hands and fists and he knew how to use them. It was a reason why he was so frustrated by the state of Lord Blackburn’s body. It was something that Cass himself had never neglected.
If you didn’t have a strong body, you couldn’t run quickly when the shop clerks tried to catch you, or when the people who you should really be hiding from tried to find you.
"L-Lady Fiona, please! Uh, things will get better! I-It’s okay." Cass felt even more useless because he couldn’t even use his fucking hands right now either. This was the worst time to be crying, Lady Fiona! And she shouldn’t even be crying to him!
"You’re so nice! Even after all that I did to you!" She sobbed. "I’m sorry. This probably isn’t what you wanted, I just can’t stop." She was apologising as she fought to breathe in between her sobs. It sounded awful, and painful, and Cass wasn’t heartless enough to not be moved by her clear pain.
Wincing, grimacing, he got to his feet and shuffled over to sit next to her. With his padded hand, he gently patted her back, and Lady Fiona let out a choked sob-cry that had him wincing even more. She kept crying, and after a while, turned, and with big eyes, glanced at Cass’ shoulder.
Fuck.
He opened his arms, and she wrapped herself around him. Her hold was tight, too tight, but he didn’t say anything as she sobbed, shaking, his shoulder getting wetter and wetter by the minute.
Eventually, her shoulders stopped shaking, her tears dried up, and she was just holding onto him. Cass was loosely holding her in his arms, unsure what to do beyond that. It was awkward, and he knew it was. Lady Fiona had to feel it as well, but she didn’t complain, or make a comment on it.
Instead, she let out a deep, painfilled sigh.
"Thank you for being so kind to me, even when I know I don’t deserve it." Her voice was a little hoarse, tense from her tears. "I just...the others are nice too, but they all look at me like I’m supposed to be perfect. You...never have. Yes, you wanted to use me, but you saw my worth, you never looked at me and...expected anything more than what you saw." She muttered, her face on his shoulder. "I really appreciate it. I should have told you sooner. It’s probably why I snapped. I’m sorry I spoiled your clothes." Seeing her like this reminded him, once more, of his sister and Cass closed his eyes.
His heart hurt, holding this woman in a way that he rarely did with his own flesh and blood, while hearing the words that were meant for another man. Fuck.
"It’s fine, Lady Fiona." Cass muttered, tired. They were supposed to speak about other things, but Cass couldn’t even remember what those other things were supposed to be. Lady Fiona pulled back, wiping at her eyes with her hands and she sniffed. She gave a warped smile.
"I’m sorry that Lucy has gotten so bold. I really didn’t...I should have questioned him more. I had no idea that he..." She cleared her throat, her eyes darting around as her cheeks warmed. "Well, you obviously know my stance on this. I’m fine with whatever you two get up to. You won’t hear any complaints from me." She let out a weak laugh. "I also believe that you two will have a better chance at hiding it from the others. You know how to open the back gate, after all." It was a throwback to when Cass had caught them, and finally, Cass felt something stir in his chest.
"Lady Fiona...what’s going on between you and Lady Ava?" He asked softly. It wasn’t any of his fucking business, but he was curious, and she was clearly willing to talk. No, maybe she needed to talk.
Her face scrunched up, and she sighed, sniffing.
"I...I don’t know. We’ve barely seen each other after that argument in the gardens. I don’t know what happened. She’s...something changed. She started to become more extreme. I guess...I always knew she had a chance to become like this, since her views were always a little..." She sighed. "I ignored her flaws. I don’t have any excuse for this, but now I don’t know what I can do. She feels so far away from the girl I fell in love with." Lady Fiona’s eyes watered and she dropped her head. Cass watched her tears fall, letting her have a moment.
"She always has had this kind of ideology?" He asked carefully and she sniffed. She raised her head again, shaking it.
"No. I mean, she did think that the temple was the most sacred, but Edgar’s the same. It only became like this when...when she started being able to speak to her god." Lady Fiona looked lost. "She won’t even tell me who it is. I know that they rarely reveal themselves, but you can get some kind of an inkling. I know that who I normally speak to could be one of two gods. Those are very normal feelings." Lady Fiona shook her head. "She tells me she knows exactly who she is speaking to, but won’t actually tell me the name." That was incredibly suspicious.
Lady Fiona knew it too, since it was clearly the first time she was bringing it up. Cass was a safe space to do so. He didn’t like the gods, or the demons. He was more inclined towards the demons at the moment, but it was a 55/45 short right now, leaning towards the demons side.
Cass shifted on the couch, turning more towards her as the conversation got serious.
"Is there a way for us to speak to her god?" Cass asked, and Lady Fiona’s gaze widened.
"I-I never considered that. Maybe. I can’t normally speak to the gods whenever I would like. I have to go to the main temple." Well, that sounded horrible. That also proved that Cass and Lady Fiona had a different relationship with the gods. It didn’t appear that Lady Fiona seemed upset about that, but he could tell that she knew it too.
"Well that puts us in a tricky situation." Cass muttered. "No doubt you’ve heard about the potential dungeon that opened up recently, right?" Lady Fiona’s face hardened and she nodded.
"Yes. Several officials have already come and spoken to me. It’s real. They’re going to make the formal request soon." Cass always thought it was fucking stupid that they had to ’formally’ as the hero to help. It seemed like a bunch of stupid pomp and circumstance, but whatever. He wasn’t a King, never planned to be, and even if he became Duke, he was going to hand that title off to Lord Blackburn once he got back.
Lady Fiona hesitated for a moment, before she spoke again.
"Since it’s near the capital, and near where your home is, we could swing by the main temple once we clear it, couldn’t we?" He hated that she made a good point, but he had no idea why she mentioned his home. Lord Blackburn didn’t even consider that place his home.
He didn’t have one.
"We could." Cass agreed begrudgingly. He suddenly remembered Vespertine saying that someone wanted to see him, and he frowned. He sighed. "We should rope Vespertine into this, so that he isn’t blind sighted when we say we want to go to the capital to visit the main temple. Don’t let Lady Ava know. Not for any bad reason, but I just worry she might try to convince us to change course." Lady Fiona frowned.
"Why would she do that?" Cass frowned. Normally, in a situation like this, the other party which in this case was a god, tried to seclude the person affected away from support groups. The temple would be one, and she might have a bad reaction to suddenly going to the main temple.
Cass didn’t know how to say that nicely, or in a way that didn’t make him sound like a completely different person from Lord Blackburn.
"It’s just a feeling I’m getting. Especially from her most recent behaviour." Lady Fiona took his words at face value, nodding in agreement.
"I...can understand that. Okay. So after we complete this next dungeon-" She gasped. "Wait! You’re injured! You shouldn’t even be coming to the next dungeon!" She protested and Cass rolled his eyes.
’My magic abilities are not affected by the lack of my hands." He commented. A shiver of warning went down his spine, and Cass swore he could hear footsteps coming closer towards them. He knew it was Draken, he didn’t need anyone to tell him otherwise. How he knew?
He wasn’t going to look at that part too deeply, but he shifted in his seat. He suddenly felt hot for some reason. Uncomfortable.