Chapter 118: Comfort the dragon way
"I-I’m not-" Cass cut off, unable to get the words out in the face of Draken’s gentle touch, and body heat. He dropped his gaze. "It’s not what it looks like." He muttered instead, and Draken scoffed.
"You’re trembling like a leaf at the mention of someone who is supposed to be family, Cassian. How is this not exactly what it looks like?" Draken’s tone was cold, and Cass winced. Draken shifted closer, releasing his hold on the other armrest to wrap his arm around Cass’ waist, pulling him forward. Cass didn’t have an option to fight him, his body battered and bruised, and Draken sighed as their bodies met in the middle. Draken adjusted his hold, tucking Cass’ head against his shoulder, his one arm wrapping around him tightly, while the other hand was on the back of his head.
"You don’t need to do this." Cass protested and Draken growled again. This time, because Cass was pressed against him, he was able to feel the sound that emanated from him, rattling his bones and body. It was oddly...nice?
"Forget the husband and mate thing, this is the right thing to do when someone you care for has had a rough childhood. At least when my parents abandoned me, I had someone else to fill their shoes." Draken complained. "Fuck. I feel like such a total ass. How long have I been alive? How long have I interacted with others?" Draken muttered, more to himself, and Cass just listened to him.
He normally didn’t like hugs on principle. He had rarely hugged his sister, and she had rarely hugged him. They had held hands often, and other little touches, but hugs? They felt like they were taboo. Cass understood why as Draken’s heat enfolded him.
This felt far more intimate then the moment he had with Vespertine. Kissing? That had nothing on the way his heart was thumping in his chest, his body being warmed by Draken’s higher body temperature, and the way he was able to feel every little muscle twitch and shift of the man pressed against him.
Cass could feel panic filling him in waves. This felt like too much, and then he’d get used to it, and then he’d panic about getting used to it.
"D-Draken, this is-" Cass tried to speak, but Draken pushed his head against his throat, effectively silencing him.
"Let me care for you, Cassian, and would you stop calling me Draken? That’s the shitty name that the Kingdom gave me. Call me by my first name." Draken’s voice so close to his ear had Cass shivering without his control.
Damn it. Draken was supposed to be big, and dumb and aggressive. Not this...not whatever this was.
Cass’ hands flexed, and he sucked in. The pain was tolerable, but it still hurt. That was a good sign, since he hadn’t really been able to feel them before, but that didn’t mean that Draken reacted well.
"Where are you hurting?" He asked, his grip reflexively tightening on him. Cass let out a weak laugh.
"It’s my hands. I’m able to feel them again." Cass muttered into the skin of his throat. He hated that he was able to feel how soft his throat was, while also feeling the rough scrape of Draken’s facial hair against his skin. The contrast was...Cass was having a hard time putting it into words.
His feet shuffled awkwardly below him.
"Were you unable to feel them yesterday?" Draken asked softly, the hand holding his head slowly playing with his hair and Cass felt his body begin to relax against his shoulder slowly.
"No." Cass admitted. "That was probably for the best. I think the shock was doing a lot of work. Thankfully, I am able to feel them now. Even if it’s just pain, it’s better than nothing." Draken hummed.
"Pain means that the nerves are still okay. Yes, that’s good. I am amazed that now that I have an understanding of what you did, that you managed to damage your hands." Cass’ face flushed.
"Well, I-"
"If I was there," Draken started, cutting him off. "I’d make sure that you never had to use your hands. I heal quickly, so I’m sure whatever you needed, and how often you needed it, wouldn’t tire me out. I have never had issues with that. I once tested myself, and I only stopped when I got bored." Cass was so damn embarrassed. He’d never discussed this kind of thing with anyone before. Lord Blackburn sure as fuck hadn’t, so Draken being so casual about it was some pretty severe whiplash for him.
"People aren’t normally as casual as you are when it comes to discussing topics like this." Cass said quietly and Draken snorted.
"A shame. I would like to know more about your habits. Do you do it often? When you aren’t injured, of course." Cass was shocked that the man even asked, but then again, they were on the topic of it. Knowing Draken, and his damn curiosity, he probably wouldn’t drop it until he got an answer. "Me? At least once a day. I find that it helps me relax." Draken laughed. "If I find that I am a little too tense for my own good, I usually go rub one out." The fact that he was laughing told Cass all that he needed to know about Draken’s sexual history.
It was probably rather extensive.
"...I don’t." Cass said. "I don’t ’rub one out’ ever." Cass sighed as Draken froze. "I think part of it is related to...what happens to me once a month, but I just...don’t have the desire to do it." Cass admitted. He felt that it was safe for him to say this for him, and for Lord Blackburn. It was safe to say that they both now had some trauma around it. Cass hadn’t really had a strong desire in the first place, but after this last week, he didn’t even want to touch his penis.
"You...don’t have the desire to do it?" Draken repeated slowly, trying to process what Cass had said. Cass nodded into his throat, the movement stirring that weird feeling in his gut again. The rough texture of his facial hair was something he hadn’t experienced before, but he couldn’t say that he hated it. It was just...strange. New. "At all?" Draken seemed shocked by Cass’ words. Cass let out another chuckle.
"Yes, Draken. I don’t have the desire to do it." Draken let out a huff, Cass’ body moving with his. It was intimate, and Cass knew his face was flushed. Damn it. This was getting to be too much. He was feeling too much just through his touch.
"Blasphemous. Everyone should have the desire to do it. I’ve spoken to Lady Fiona about this extensively, and-"
"You’ve spoken to Lady Fiona about this?" Cass knew his voice was high, and he pushed against Draken’s hand on his head. Draken let him rise, his hand still in his hair as Cass came face to face with him.
Draken’s smirk when Cass sat up, his face flushed, his cheeks warm, and his body lax was one of victory, but Cass didn’t realise it right away. Too shocked by the news that he had spoken to a woman about this. Sure, they were married, but Cass would never-
"It’s a natural part of being alive, Cassian. Almost everyone wants to reproduce, and pleasure isn’t something to be feared. Before she was ’Lady’ Fiona, she was a mercenary. My topics aren’t too crazy for someone who has lived that life, and I was very respectful when I asked her. She even said so." Draken told him, as Cass realised belatedly how close they were, how relaxed his body was, and the way that Draken was looking at him.
Alarms started blaring in the back of his mind and Draken paused, before he burst into laughter. He pressed his cheek against Cass’, the touch made even more intimate by how close they still were, and the rough scrape against his cheek making Cass’ breath catch.
"Now you are worried about something? Cassian, I had no idea you were so innocent. Where did the confidence come from when you teased me before? You were going to kiss me, weren’t you?" Draken teased, and Cass could feel his mouth turn up in a smile. Cass’ heart raced in his chest, and he swallowed.
"I...I knew you weren’t going to want to kiss me. I banked on that." Cass whispered and Draken laughed.
"I ran away because I wanted it too much, and Lady Fiona had not given me her permission yet." Cass’ stomach dropped.
"You asked her before?" Cass asked and Draken chuckled.
"We are married as the humans do, remember? I am loyal, of course, but I did express that I had an interest in someone else in the hero party." Cass stopped breathing.
"She thought it was Lady Ava." Cass didn’t need to think twice to know where her thoughts had gone. It was obvious to him, knowing the truth. Draken chuckled.
"You guessed correctly. She was very much against it then, but after you woke up again after being injured, and a few of my...reactions, we had another conversation. I admit, I had thought she had had similar conversations with the rest of you. I am realising now that she did not." Well, Cass couldn’t say that they had had a similar conversation, since Lord Blackburn had essentially told her to go balls to the wall. He just needed her name and the fact that she was female.
"You told her that you..." Cass trailed off, unable to say the words out loud. Draken dug his hands into Cass’ hair, gently pulling his head back again so that he could meet his gaze, his orange one dancing, laughing in the face of Cass’ slightly paler, but still flushed face.
"I told her I had very, very dirty intentions towards you, yes, and that it appeared that you shared the same sentiment. I was going off of your actions up until that point, which might have been why she brought up the bite." Cass felt his head swim with all of this backstory to different actions.
It didn’t redeem them of course, since they hadn’t spoken to him about it, but it made some of the pieces make a bit more sense.
Cass was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t realise until it was too late that Draken’s gaze was doing the same damn thing that Vespertine’s had been doing when they were in a similar situation.
He was staring at Cass’ lips.