Chapter 620: Secrets of the Gods!
When the light of the red moon first appeared in the Greenhair Badlands, the wind died down. It returned the next day. It started out very faint. But by the third day, the green wind was blowing so hard that the dunes of green sand started shifting, until the desert resembled a sea. The wind seemed to carry the weeping of all living beings to fill heaven and earth.
Xu Qing was half-buried in the sand, unmoving. He looked like a corpse. But his mind was alive as he thought about human nature and godly nature. It was a profound question, and Xu Qing was having a hard time wrapping his mind around it. Especially the latter topic.... After all, he wasn’t a god. As a mere human, it was difficult to understand the godliness of gods.
However, Xu Qing had certain advantages. In his short twenty years of life, he had seen more than his fair share of evil, bitterness, and, of course, the inexhaustible ugliness that humans were capable of. Because of that, he already had a good understanding of human nature. In the three days that passed, he had been thinking back through all of his memories, trying to recall everything he could ever remember experiencing.
Greed. Madness. Cannibalism. Ruthlessness.
Of course, there were also beautiful and wonderful things, but they were like sparks that were easily extinguished. Regardless, he could remember what it felt like when those sparks appeared. For example, there was the peace and tranquility of his youth in Peerless City, or the deep impression his father and mother made on him. He would never forget the warmth Sergeant Thunder provided and the emotion in Duanmu Zang. And there was... the towering image of Palace Lord Kong Liangxiu. There were many things like that.
Human nature includes both good and evil. Human nature also involves emotions connected to other things, and the fetters thus created.
He thought about his Master, the Captain, Plumdark, Ling’er, and all of the other people he’d come to know on his journey. He had experienced both hatred and gratitude, loathing and joy.
I was alone at first. But now... without even realizing it, I’ve come to have many things to be concerned about. They are also fetters, like countless threads connecting into a huge web. Human nature is the source of that web. It’s the reason why I feel happiness, anger, sorrow, and joy.
He opened his eyes and looked up into the sky. He listened to the sobbing wind, which seemed to him to be the weeping of all living beings.
Human nature contains all the hope we have for life, and the fear we have of death. Ever since I was young, I always felt the desire to keep on living. Our emotions, and the way we live our lives, are fundamental aspects of human nature. Back in Peerless City, I didn’t even understand what killing was. I never worried about the future. And I never considered the consequences of my actions. But after experiencing life, I changed.
As Xu Qing lost himself in his memories and analyzed himself, his understanding of human nature grew deeper.
One of the differences between human nature and animal nature is that we can exercise restraint.
He looked down at his bare arm and thought back to how he had sunk into madness earlier. It seemed to him that the ability to exercise restraint came from self-control. But where did self-control come from? He pondered the question for a while.
I have self-control because of my moral system. I guess it’s just one of the characteristics that make us human. Human nature revolves around order. Animal nature is the opposite. It’s chaotic, and relies on instinct. Here in Revered Ancient, that’s the state of existence of the animals infected by the aura of the god above.
Xu Qing felt somewhat enlightened.
But what is godly nature? Godliness?
He still didn’t understand. However, he knew that the body he possessed was actually the body of a god. And his taboo poison came from a god domain, while his violet moon was actually godsource.
If I fill my body with violet moon power, then to a certain extent, you could say that godliness exists within me. Except... it’s not something I’m aware of. Or perhaps you could say that it isn’t visible. After all, I’m a human, not a god.
The Heir Apparent wants me to experience hunger in the same way that Crimson Mother experiences it. Is hunger really the key to unlocking godly nature? What causes the hunger of a god?
Xu Qing was still confused. By now, he actually didn’t feel hungry. His body had grown used to surviving in a weak state, and was now just waiting for death to come.
A long moment passed, and he sighed. He couldn’t find the answer, and he didn’t feel like lying around, so finally, he struggled into a seated position in the sand. By this point, the beasts of the desert were active again. In fact, he could see one of the giant mushrooms off in the distance. It was currently heading in his direction, full of malice.
Terrifying energy and frightening fluctuations rolled off the mushroom. From what Xu Qing could sense, it wasn’t in the Nascent Soul level, but rather, more like the dao begetting phase.
There weren’t a lot of these gruish mushrooms in the Greenhair Badlands. But because of the way their roots formed a humanoid shape, like a giant, few people would dare to provoke them.
Xu Qing had come to realize that very early on when he first arrived in the desert.
Unfortunately, simply sitting up had taken almost all of the scant energy he had remaining. And the shallow pit left behind him after he sat up was already filling in with sand. When Xu Qing noticed that, he was stunned. His mind reeled as if it were being struck by numerous lightning bolts. Forgetting all about his dangerous situation, he stared at the sand filling in the spot where he had been lying.
It’s being filled in. When I was laying there, I was part of the desert. When I sat up, I left an empty spot. Therefore... the sand is tumbling back in to return that spot to its original state. If I likened that empty spot to myself, and the sand as human nature... then I could liken the replacement sand as godliness....
Xu Qing struggled to control his breathing. He felt like he had latched onto something important, and was currently thinking deeply about it. That was when a huge scorpion tail emerged from the sand next to him and stabbed into him.
Then it flung him to the side, causing him to flop like a kite with its string cut off into the distance.
A moment later, three scorpions burrowed out of the sand, raced toward him, and dug into him with their mandibles.
Xu Qing wasn’t paying attention. Though he was currently in a very weak state, he still had some inherent toughness. The scorpions wouldn’t be able to rip him apart that easily. Though pain filled him, his current line of thinking was more important.
As the scorpions tore at him, he closed his eyes.
If I remove my human nature, I won’t have self-control to suppress my animal nature. But if I replace it with godly nature, then I can use godliness to surpass the animal nature!
Xu Qing’s heart pounded. Now he understood.
I don’t need to understand godliness. I just need to integrate it into myself and sense it. Use the vision of a god to understand it. At that point, maybe I won’t be able to control my animal nature. But that’s because I won’t need to. It will instinctively listen to my commands.
Therefore, the Heir Apparent is actually telling me to overlap human nature and godly nature. It’s a combination. A mixture! Except, where does hunger come into it?
Xu Qing felt that he had a preliminary solution to the problem. Although there were still things he didn’t understand, when all was said and done, he had a decision to make.
Should he try out his new idea?
A moment later, he thought about the first bit of advice the Heir Apparent had given him using the tea leaves and the water. Then he thought about the experiments he had done with the golden crow, and the inspiration he’d received when the Heir Apparent used one of Sprouty’s leaflets to demonstrate a point.
The tea leaves and the water are a mixture. But you can still separate them. And even though Sprouty’s leaflet is separate, it’s still part of Sprouty. The essence is the same. In other words, if I try out this idea, I can still reverse it if necessary.
Xu Qing’s eyes shone with determination. He knew that, unless he wanted to abandon hope of controlling the power of the violet moon, he had to pursue this path.
As for how to get rid of my human nature....
He closed his eyes. Getting rid of his human nature meant removing the restraints on his instincts.
He slowly started to make the change. Soon after, he was gasping for breath and trembling from head to toe. Then his eyes opened, and they shone with the crazed madness of a wild animal.
He no longer exercised restraint over his instincts. He no longer guided his actions with self-control. He no longer considered morality, evil, or goodness. He didn’t have any sense of self-respect. What was more, he wasn’t thinking about memories of the past, and wasn’t affected by emotions. He was set free. His instincts were completely free.
An animalistic roar erupted from Xu Qing’s mouth. Eyes crimson, he looked at the scorpions that were ripping into him.
Saliva poured from his mouth as unbounded hunger rose within him. He had no idea where he got the energy, but he reached out, grabbed a scorpion, and ripped it apart with his teeth. Sand flew everywhere. Rumbling sounds echoed out. Piercing cries could be heard for the time it takes an incense stick to burn. Then, a figure could be seen racing out of the dust.
It was none other than Xu Qing. His hair was disheveled, and he gasped for breath. His face was splattered with blood. The arm that he had previously bitten chunks out of was now gone.
But that didn’t make him any less fast.
He wasn’t thinking. He was guided by instinct alone. And he wanted to eat. Everything. The hunger within him had plunged him into a state of madness. But it wasn’t just a desire to devour flesh that filled him. There was something deeper he needed. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he could sense that his body felt completely empty. It was as if there was some indescribable thing he needed, something that was hiding from him.
And the more deeply it hid, the more intense his hunger grew. It came from his body, but also from his soul.
All of a sudden, his body flickered with violet light! It was violet moon power! It fluctuated like never before, glimmering brightly. It was infinitely close to Xu Qing, and more a part of him than ever before. His surroundings rippled and distorted. Heaven and earth were a blur. The power of a god rumbled, exploding out from him.
The sand vibrated, and the green wind lurched to a halt, then rushed in the opposite direction, not daring to get close to him.
A howl erupted from Xu Qing’s mouth as he started racing directly toward the distant mushroom. Before, it would have taken all of his energy, unleashed at his peak state, to just pierce the mushroom’s surface. But now, the mere wave of his hand caused it to instantly crack open.
An agonized shriek rang out as Xu Qing burrowed inside, taking bites left and right. His remaining hand swept back and forth, grabbing chunk after chunk of flesh and stuffing it into his mouth.
“Hungry... so hungry....”
The mushroom instinctively fought back. The roots that formed the shape of a giant beneath the mushroom tried to grab him. Its energy alone was enough to crush all of Xu Qing’s nascent souls. In the past, he would have been forced to go all out to defend himself. But right now... the pressure coming from the roots collapsed before it could even get close to him.
The mushroom couldn’t do a thing to Xu Qing. Terrifying fluctuations erupted from within it. It cried out in anguish again, yet Xu Qing just kept eating mouthful after mouthful.
Xu Qing’s belly swelled up, yet the sensation of hunger within him hadn’t been reduced at all. Instead, it had grown even more intense. Eventually, it was as if every empty spot within him had combined, creating a gigantic black hole that could devour everything.
The godliness from the violet moon began to flicker even more dramatically. A violet will spread out around him in all directions. Godsource was erupting.
Xu Qing’s movements were slowing. In his maddened state, his crimson eyes were now gaining some cold clarity. Apparently, he was finally starting to sense godliness.
It was something beyond description. Xu Qing didn’t fully understand it, but he was aware of the sudden, new sensation. In his mind, it now didn’t matter whether or not Crimson Mother showed up. It didn’t even matter who he himself was.
Emotions. The past. Good and evil. Gratitude and grudges. All people. All things. He remembered all of those things, but as of this moment, they weren’t important at all. His view of all matters and all things had changed.
This is why the Heir Apparent said that if I succeeded, I might not be me anymore. Because when godly nature replaces human nature, things that were important to me before, even people, will become insignificant.
Those thoughts flitted through his mind in an instant, and as they did, he realized they weren’t important to him. Neither was the act of thinking about them. The pervasive, corrosive, degenerative wind around him wasn’t important. Heaven and earth were filled with vicious illusions. The world was full of bones and maggot-ridden corpses. And none of them were important.
The blurry, broken face in the sky had changed. Hīs eyes were looking down, almost as if they had never closed. But that wasn’t important either.
What was important was that Xu Qing was hungry. Immeasurably hungry. His hunger was limitless, with no beginning and no end. He finally understood the source of his hunger.
It was an instinct to pursue the evolution of life. It was also a farewell to the past, but at the same time, a reluctance to part with it. In this process of getting rid of his human nature and suffusing himself with godly nature, he had not fully lost his human nature. That was the reason the imperfect black hole had come to be.
If I want to abate this hunger, I need to perfect myself. I need to completely get rid of my human nature. I haven’t done that yet. But neither has Crimson Mother. Neither has Emperor Ancient Spirit. Neither has the Captain... That’s why thēy’re all hungry.
Xu Qing apathetically wondered why he was thinking about unimportant things. And then he quickly cleared his thoughts.
And yet, even after that, he still felt that those things were important.
The two types of thinking clashed, causing struggle to appear in his eyes. One moment, his eyes contained apathy. The other, they revealed human nature.
The conflict caused veins to bulge on his forehead. He released a howl of anguish. The clarity in his eyes faded, replaced by madness. The pursuit of perfect instincts returned, along with his attempts to completely get rid of his human nature.
Xu Qing had gone mad again. Violet light flared, like the coming of a god. He raced off into the distance. There was more food there. There was no mushroom left behind. He had eaten the entire thing.