A purple-haired girl with a face as beautiful and perfect as a goddess narrowed her eyes as she gazed upwards at nothing in particular.
"You won't go to him?"
A petite feminine voice reached her ears, coming from the tiny figure seated comfortably on her head.
Zoey didn't answer. Instead, she just stared, her eyes shifting through a wave of different emotions.
"I don't know what to say to him," she admitted after some time.
She had just felt a presence with an enormous amount of spiritual energy not too far from her island.
Spiritual energy was different from mana, and as far as she knew, everyone with spiritual energy was on this island with her, all except one.
Atticus.
"What about what you planned on saying to him?" Lumindra added.
"You saw what happened before…" Zoey muttered under her breath.
Lumindra sighed. "The part about you freezing?"
Zoey shook her head. "I still felt it. Nothing changed."
She lowered her head, gripping the hem of her robe as emotions churned violently inside her.
"What did you feel?" Lumindra asked. She already knew the answer, but she still asked regardless.
Tears welled up in Zoey's eyes.
"I thought I was ready," she admitted. "I told myself that the next time I saw him, I'd apologize. I'd tell him everything, why I refused, what I felt. I even convinced myself that maybe… just maybe, we could fix things."
She let out a shaky breath, her fingers tightening into fists.
"But then I saw him floating in the skies. And—"
Her throat closed up.
She couldn't even say it.
Lumindra maintained her calm demeanor, swinging her tiny legs over Zoey's head as she asked again.
"What did you feel?" she asked bluntly.
Zoey squeezed her eyes shut, shame flooding her.
"I felt jealous."
"Jealous of what?"
"Everything," she admitted in a low tone. "His talent. His strength. His mindset. The way he carries himself, so calm, so confident, like nothing can shake him. Like he already knows he's untouchable."
She swallowed hard.
"Even after everything… even after I left, I thought I was ready to move forward. But when I saw him floating in the sky, looking so… untouchable, I realized I still feel the same way. And I know it's wrong. I know it's ugly. But I can't help it, Lumi."
More tears slipped down her face as she choked.
"I feel so terrible for even thinking this way."
Lumindra sighed, her tiny body still perched on Zoey's head.
"Why do you feel jealous of all these things?" she asked.
Lumindra had always been supportive of Zoey when it came to this matter.
As a centuries-old spirit, the whole thing felt absurd to her, yet she had considered Zoey's childlike innocence and supported her instead, hoping that by the next time they met, everything would be sorted.
This was especially after Zoey had resolved to talk to Atticus the next time they saw each other.
But that hadn't turned out as expected.
Now wasn't the time to keep being supportive.
If she missed this opportunity, then it would probably be all over.
Zoey wiped her eyes roughly, trying to steady her voice.
"You know why, Lumi," she muttered. "It's my dream. To grow strong enough to protect Eldoralth. To be the one standing at the top, making sure no one else suffers. No one else dies. I've worked my whole life for this goal."
"And now," Lumindra said, swinging her legs, "you're angry that someone else will probably achieve your goal instead of you."
Zoey flinched, but she nodded, her chest tightening.
A moment of silence passed before Lumindra spoke again, and this time, there was no softness in her voice.
"So what now?"
Zoey blinked. "Huh?"
"I mean, what now?" Lumindra repeated. "From what I can see, especially considering the fool he bonded with, you may never catch up to him."
Zoey's heart sank, but she didn't interrupt.
"Honestly, I doubt that boy even cares about saving this planet," Lumindra continued. "But let's say he does. Let's say he ends up fulfilling your goal instead of you.
"What now?"
Zoey stayed silent, her fingers clenching into fists.
"He won't stop just because you feel jealous of him. Nor do you have any right to ask him to."
Zoey bit her lip hard, her chest tightening painfully.
"It means he'll eventually accomplish what you wanted for yourself.
"There's simply no helping it. It's life.
"And you, Zoey, are not a child anymore."
"I've been silent for two years," Lumindra continued, "letting you figure things out on your own.
"But I think it's about time I tell you the truth and stop treating you delicately."
Her next words cut deep.
"You've worked tirelessly for two years, and you're only at Master rank.
"Meanwhile, he's already reached Paragon.
"He has accomplished more in a fraction of the time than you ever have."
"And I'll be blunt, I don't see a way for you to catch up to him."
"Unfortunately, this is life.
"It's reality."
Zoey's nails dug into her palms.
The words hit hard.
Because they were true.
Zoey had spent her whole life training, dreaming of becoming the savior of Eldoralth, the one who would stand at the pinnacle of strength and protect the world.
She had dedicated everything to that goal.
And then Atticus… Atticus, who had always been strong, became something beyond even her imagination.
Every time she saw him, it felt like he was walking farther and farther away, into a world where she could never follow.
And it hurt.
It hurt so much that she had convinced herself she couldn't be with him while feeling this way.
"I thought that if I distanced myself, I could grow.
"That maybe… if I worked hard enough, I'd close the gap.
"That I wouldn't feel like this anymore."
"But it didn't go away. No matter what I do, every time I see him, the same feeling is still there."
A few silent moments passed before Lumindra finally spoke.
"Jealousy is normal, Zoey. We're all jealous of something.
"But instead of wallowing in pity for the rest of your life, because that's exactly what will happen if you keep this up, why don't you actually face your emotions?"
"Accept them. Stop running from them. See where they lead you."
"But what if they lead me nowhere?" she whispered.