Evolve (8)
When I uttered those words, something felt off. Merged into one, I'd said.
That sounded like something out of a chimera story—certainly not something a playful dog would say.
"Oh, I can see how that could be misunderstood. Let me rephrase."
"I thought so."
Licorice wore an 'I knew it' expression of relief. She shot me a look as if urging me to hurry and explain myself.
"Yes. So, something like Ian's soul was inside me."
"That's no different than before!"
Licorice shouted abruptly.
"Why are you yelling...?"
"Because you're saying weird things!"
"Well, what can I do, it's the truth."
I felt wronged. She'd told me to speak, and yet here she was glaring at me.
Of course, I knew it was because she was shocked, but I didn't think it was as important or extraordinary as the secret Licorice had confessed.
But apparently, she felt otherwise.
"Aren't you overreacting? Isn't it less shocking than the fact that you're Lobelia's clone?"
"You call that less shocking...?"
Licorice groaned, rubbing her forehead.
That only lasted a moment—she promptly slapped my forearm.
"You'd better explain properly. What do you mean Ian's soul was inside you? And 'was'? Does that mean it's gone now?"
"It's as I said... Ah, fine. I'm not finished, so don't look at me like that. I might have a heart attack."
With her arms crossed, Licorice looked up at me with intimidating eyes, making me a bit uneasy.
"I actually only learned recently. When I awakened my supernatural power, I was trapped in a strange vision, and I saw a lot of things then."
I explained what I had seen in that vision.
As if watching my life flash before my eyes, all the memories I'd had to that point streamed by, and at the end of those memories was a man who resembled Celestia.
He didn't state his name, but I instinctively knew who he was.
Since he spoke about his younger sibling, too.
And he knew of Lobelia's contract.
"Wait, contract? What contract?"
"I don't know, either. I assume it has something to do with my current state, but I can't remember."
Even before I could use supernatural powers, I had always had above-average strength.
My stamina threshold was much higher, too.
I assumed all those parts had been influenced by Lobelia.
By the time I discovered I'd been one of Lobelia's test subjects, it was less a hunch than a certainty.
"... If you don't remember, there's nothing you can do. Go on."
"I met Ian, and he told me to choose. Between the giant tree and the seedling."
"I can guess which one you picked without hearing it."
Licorice's eyes flicked toward the seedling on the table.
The little thing, probably woken up by all of Licorice's yelling, was quietly watching us.
When our eyes met, the seedling waved its leaves.
Knowing it wouldn't stop until someone acknowledged it, I nudged Licorice out of sight.
Startled by the unfamiliar touch, Licorice soon caught on and awkwardly waved at the seedling.
Satisfied, the seedling closed the window. Perhaps it understood we were having a serious talk, and had decided not to bother us.
Licorice whispered quietly.
"But why the seedling? Aren't your telekinetic powers weak because you chose that?"
"That's right. If I'd chosen the giant tree, I might have escaped Titan by now."
Still, I had no regrets about not choosing the giant tree. The possibility of escaping Titan didn't include being together with someone.
"The giant tree was what the pureblood supremacists called the Holy Tree. Just looking at it gave me overwhelming foreboding. If I'd picked that, I'd probably have killed you all. After becoming a fanatic, just like the pureblood supremacists."
After that, I'd probably have joined the pureblood supremacists, broken out of Titan, and headed for Earth.
While the outcome—going to Earth—would have been the same, the path couldn't be more different. It was not the path I wanted.
I knew I hadn't survived alone until now. I could live because I had precious people by my side.
"How could I have picked the giant tree? I don't want to die. Not just you, Licorice, but everyone here has to survive and get out."
"... Sorry. I asked a weird question."
"Either way, even if I had to choose again, I'd pick the seedling, so don't worry. Not that they'll offer again after I refused their name. Their pride is insane."
"Their pride isn't the only thing insane. It'd be harder to find a part of them that isn't. Every civilization we've seen so far has been destroyed by them."
Licorice agreed with me. As someone who'd inadvertently peeped into Lobelia's memories, Licorice knew the beings called Sacred Trees weren't unique.
"Anyway, that's everything. I don't know if Ian's soul is still inside me. I haven't seen him even in dreams since that day. One thing's certain—through that vision, I came to understand myself better. And I learned to use this power."
I used my telekinesis to fetch a fluffy ball from beneath the bed. The soft ball spun in midair. With time, handling psionic energy was becoming more natural. I was growing steadily, if slowly.
Licorice parted her lips. I knew even without hearing what she wanted to say. She was about to bring up the possibility that I was mistaken. But in the end, she kept her silence. She knew it wasn't mere delusion.
"... It is a bit shocking. That you're at the center of Ian and Lobelia's contract... Is there anything else? Related to that?"
"Ian's memories are surfacing bit by bit. Just yesterday, I made a slip in front of Celestia because of that."
"What kind of slip?"
"I called her by a pet name without realizing. Thankfully, I managed to cover it up by pretending I stumbled over my words... Why are you looking at me like that?"
When I tilted my head, Licorice let out a deep sigh.
"You really don't know anything about women."
"Out of nowhere?"
"Celestia might really not notice—no, never mind. It's not my place to say. Just keep that in mind."
Licorice gave me a look that was half pathetic, half pitying. While I was left in confusion, she muttered to herself.
"So that's how yesterday's topic is connected. Haa... That's why you asked—which matters more, the mind or the body."
"Come to think of it, you had every right to wonder. For me to ask that. I hit straight to the point without knowing."
"Yeah. Do you know how surprised I was?"
Licorice grumbled, making me chuckle. It was as if I'd read her mind unintentionally.
While it had been my own worry, from Licorice's perspective, it might have seemed as if I was testing her. Perhaps her own confession to me was influenced by that, too.
"So what do I do now?"
"Why are you asking me that?"
"Weren't you going to think it through with me...?"
"That's not my role. It's not just your problem; other people are involved, too. No matter what I say, in the end, you have to decide. Especially since your relationship with Celestia will become more important."
Hit with her plain logic, I was left speechless. I understood, and I'd already known. But for some reason, I wanted to rebel, so I feigned dejection.
"So now I've been abandoned... I gave it my all, and still got tossed aside... I trusted you!"
"Knock it off and drop that face while I'm asking nicely."
"Okay."
It hadn't worked at all. Some genuine feeling must have crept in for my acting to come out so naturally, but I didn't think she'd spot it right away.
"How did you know?"
"I know you, don't I?"
Licorice sniffed haughtily. She looked somewhat proud, too.
"Anyway, I already told you what I think. Just give it some thought. Didn't the Ian you met also say that who he is depends on how you think of him?"
"He did say that..."
"And your body isn't Myosotis's anymore. If there had been any physical overlap, the security system would have triggered when you activated the town."
Licorice looked at me as if to say, am I wrong? I realized she had a point.
"What's there to agonize over? Just act as your heart guides you."
"I don't know what my heart wants."
I scratched my head. People's feelings were always complicated. Even when the answer was right in front of you, if fog covered it, you couldn't see it.
"... Whichever you choose, that person won't change."
"Sorry?"
"Nothing."
Licorice mumbled something quietly and trailed off. She glanced out the window. The world outside was pitch-dark.
Albatross was concealed in a canyon in the ice mountains to avoid notice, but it was particularly dark tonight. Even the mysterious, ominous planet was nowhere to be seen.
"It's late. You should sleep now. I'll take you back."
"..."
Licorice's face turned somber. Though she was clearly exhausted, she seemed reluctant to sleep. Sleep was no longer a means for her to recover.
I recalled that she suffered nightmares whenever she slept.
"Because of the nightmares?"
Licorice nodded quietly. Seeing someone so strong-willed show such weakness tugged at my heart.
"You said you've never gone a night without them?"
"I'd say it's nearly every time. If I wake in the middle, the rest of the night is ruined, but otherwise, I get tormented till I'm out of energy."
"That's a problem."
What could be done? I tried to think of a solution. But no matter how hard I thought, nothing good came to mind.
As I absentmindedly stroked my chin, I felt a tug on my wrist. Looking down, I saw Licorice hesitating, holding onto me timidly.
That was brief; with a deep breath, she regained her usual composure and spoke resolutely.
"... Can I sleep here tonight?"
"Uh..."
When I hesitated, Licorice looked about to back out, claiming she didn't mind either way, but I could see right through her. The trembling red eyes, and the hands she hid behind her back to conceal the shaking.
On the surface, Licorice still played it cool, but it was all an act. She wasn't a good actor. Or rather, she was in no state to act at all.
"If you're here, I don't think I'll have nightmares... Is it okay?"
"How could I refuse after that? Of course. Stay here tonight."
"Really? I can?"
"Yes, come on, get in bed."
"A-ah, okay!"
Licorice's face instantly brightened. I wondered what she would have done if I'd refused. Maybe she'd have sat outside my door till I caved.
"Aren't you getting in?"
"I was planning to look at the night sky for a while, then doze off in this chair. You sleep first."
"Ah, okay..."
Trying to give me space, Licorice scooted to the edge of the bed, then paused. Her tense posture melted into a weird mix of relief and disappointment.
Even after settling into my bed, Licorice didn't close her eyes. She just stared at the ceiling as her heavy eyelids, weighed down by exhaustion, drooped then suddenly shot open, again and again.
"Licorice, if you start having a nightmare, I'll wake you right away. I can't stop you from dreaming altogether, but I won't let you be stuck in it too long. So try to relax and sleep."
"... Thanks."
Licorice mumbled, pulling the blanket up over her head as she kept her gaze in my direction. Seeming relieved, she turned over.
Shortly after she forced her eyes closed, her breathing leveled out. She had fallen asleep so quickly, it was almost like she'd passed out.
Only after confirming she was asleep did I sit by the window. I took out a telescope and gazed at the sky through the gap in the canyon.
Even with the telescope's special features, I couldn't see a single star in the sky. I didn't know if the weak light simply couldn't pierce the clouds, or if the stars themselves were gone.
"What's up there, anyway, that I can't see a single star?"
I flicked the seedling which had appeared by my side at some point as I asked. Of course, there was no answer. All I got was a leaf resting on my hand.
I hadn't expected a reply, but for some reason, I got playful and tickled the seedling. It shrank away, startled, and ran off.
I chuckled to myself and looked up again. The sky was still cloudy, as if covered by something.
***
When I next opened my eyes, it was morning. Lately, I truly understood what it meant to feel as if time had vanished.
Because I'd slept in a chair, my body felt stiff when I woke. I stretched my arms overhead. My tense muscles loosened a little, bringing me some relief.
Feeling limber again, I headed to the bed to check on Licorice.
She'd gone to sleep with the blanket over her head, but sometime during the night, she must have relaxed completely, because she was hugging my pillow as she snored away.
'Looks like she didn't have a nightmare...'
Her sleeping face was peaceful. All traces of her usual tension had melted away. She looked like a different person.
"Mmm..."
Licorice murmured in her sleep, squeezing the pillow so tightly it almost suffocated. With her movements, the blanket shifted and exposed more of her—she was lightly dressed. I hadn't noticed in the dark, but now I could see how thin her clothing was.
Her pale ankles stuck out, her white skin contrasting with her red hair, making her look even paler. Her shirt had ridden up, no longer covering her stomach. If Licorice could see herself, she'd probably be bright red with embarrassment.
'She's making herself right at home.'
I grumbled to myself at how Licorice was sleeping in my bed as if it were her own. Not that I minded. After all her struggles with nightmares, it was good she managed to avoid them for once.
'Better to let her sleep a bit longer.'
There was no need to wake her. Today's work was just a continuation of yesterday's, and the morning meeting probably wouldn't bring anything new, so it wasn't urgent.
Since I was up, I quietly left to wash up, being as silent as possible so I didn't wake her. By the time I returned, the timing was perfect.
When I came back in, Licorice's eyelids fluttered, then opened. Her red eyes, still unfocused, wandered blankly.
As soon as she saw me, she flinched—then, looking relieved, she hid her face behind her messy hair and then pulled the covers over herself, making a cocoon in an instant. Maybe she was embarrassed.
"You're awake? Want to sleep a bit more?"
"... Get out."
"This is my room, you know. If anyone should leave, it's you. I have nowhere else to go."
"... "
Licorice thrashed under the blanket like a petulant child. Now both pillow and blanket suffered under her grip.
While I was left speechless, Licorice sat up, trying briefly to tidy her messy hair, but it still looked disheveled.
But that raw look was oddly charming rather than unsightly. Licorice tried to speak, but her throat caught.
"Hyun-woo, water..."
"Water? Just a minute."
I checked the tumbler Celestia had left behind. It was half full—enough for a quick sip.
"Here you go."
Licorice tried to grab the tumbler, but her strength failed her and she dropped it. If I hadn't caught it with telekinesis, it would have caused a spill. Considering her light clothing, that would've been disastrous.
So I held the tumbler to Licorice's lips. Judging by her clumsiness, it was the best option. I didn't want my bed wet. Even if it wasn't my tumbler, I could clean it and return it later.
"You sure are high-maintenance."
Licorice shot me a glare but didn't stop drinking. The sound of her gulping water was loud in the close quarters.
Then—knock, knock. Someone rapped at the door, which then swung open.
"Hyun-woo, I heard you were up, so I came by. My tumbler should be—"
Celestia stepped in apologetically, then froze. She'd seen me and Licorice together on the bed.
Licorice shot Celestia a glance, then actually hurried me on, signaling that she was still thirsty and urging me to keep tilting the tumbler.
"..."
Celestia, still standing there, closed the door. About five seconds later, it opened again as she scanned the room. Nothing had changed. The scene was the same.
What she saw: Licorice sitting on my bed, holding my hand, guiding her own tumbler to her mouth as if she owned it. As she watched this scene, Celestia's eyes went completely dead.