Origin (19)
A small, cozy room—so warm that it was hard to believe it was on a freezing satellite.
"Hyun-woo?"
Nadia called out to me. There was a note of puzzlement in her voice. It was only after I heard her call that I realized my own condition.
My hands were shaking. I had stopped brushing without even knowing it, trying to hide my trembling. Every time I closed my eyes, vivid memories of that moment ate away at me.
Blue Eye's monstrous screams echoed around my ears, the smell of blood still seemed to sting my nostrils, and the dazzling blue thermal ray splitting everything apart was burned into my mind, haunting my vision like an afterimage.
I couldn't keep brushing anymore.
"... Nadia, I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing again?"
"For pushing myself too hard back then."
"......"
Nadia tried to turn around, but I grabbed her shoulders to keep her from doing so. It would be bad if our eyes met right now. I didn't want her to see just how pitiful my expression must be.
Nadia seemed to sense this and decided to let her body relax, continuing the conversation from her current position.
"When you suddenly ran out, Hyun-woo?"
"Yeah. At the time, I thought that was the best I could do. I felt like that would be my only chance—if I didn't kill it right then, I might not get another opportunity. If that bastard got away again, who knows how much more dangerous it'd become—"
"Liar."
"......"
My lie unraveled instantly. I started to make an excuse, wanting to say it wasn't a lie, but swallowed it back. Yeah, she was right. It was a lie.
What I'd just said was only the surface reason, not the true answer to the question Nadia had asked back then. After a brief silence, I was about to admit it—if Nadia hadn't beaten me to it.
"That time, Hyun-woo, you were different. At least to me, it felt like you became someone else entirely."
The reason why I acted that way—my answer was simple.
"... I was scared. I was terrified."
It wasn't just that my mind was clouded by exposure to the blue crystal's pulse. When I saw those strange letters carved into the monster's exoskeleton, I was suddenly struck by such a powerful fear it felt like I couldn't breathe.
I had instantly understood a script that surely shouldn't be understandable, and seeing as the monster was related to the pureblood supremacists, what did it mean that I was able to read it? In that moment, the answer struck me.
No, actually, to say "struck me" is a bit off. It was less a realization and more a gut instinct.
I don't know my past. I could have ignored it, thinking "what matters is the present."
But I didn't.
I wanted to go to Earth to find out my past, and that was still my unchanging goal. But it felt as if that ultimate goal of mine might suddenly swerve in a completely different direction, as if everything I had built would vanish into nothing, and I lost my composure.
To ignore that fear I felt then, I forced myself to act even more aggressively, shouted to break free from my shrunken self, and pretended to be angry. But in reality, it was the opposite.
"I was scared, too, Hyun-woo."
When I confessed, Nadia let out a short, measured breath as if she was choosing her words. Then she continued.
"It wasn't the monster that scared me. Well, actually, that monster was scary, but what really scared me was the idea that you would lose yourself, Hyun-woo."
"If something went wrong, the fault is mine."
"You know that's not what I mean. And it's not our fault anyway. We just got swept up in all this."
That sounds a lot like something Licorice would say.
"No matter what anyone says, Hyun-woo is still Hyun-woo. You're the one who treated my injuries and saved me, the one who fought the monster with everything you had. You saved Carry at the market, made it so the people in town could work in peace—that was all you, Hyun-woo."
"......"
"I don't want you to lie to yourself. If you're scared, if you're afraid, it's okay to run away. Even if you fall flat on your face, you just have to get back up. There's no reason for you to let your forgotten past shake you up."
"......"
"You gave up your wish to that woman because you wanted to learn about your past, right?"
"... Yeah."
"Unlike someone else, you're actually trying to face your past."
She said 'someone', but it was obvious she meant Nadia herself. Nadia no longer looked ahead to where I wasn't.
She gently caught the hand I'd placed on her shoulder and turned to face me. Her gentle green eyes looked into mine, and in their depths, my own gloom-ridden reflection appeared.
"I know you're strong, Hyun-woo. Knowing or not knowing your past, you'd still have done the same."
"......"
"I'm not saying you have to get up right this instant. I'm not asking 'what are you doing right now?' Just rest for now. I'll stay by your side. We're partners, after all. We always stay together, wherever we go."
I realized Nadia had noticed my state much earlier than I thought. No matter how much I tried to hide it, she had sensed my inner turmoil—ever since I'd made that impulsive move at Blue Eye.
A vague hope aimed at another, a bond that endures even when apart. We call that faith.
In this moment, regardless of who I was in the past or what I'd done, I realized I could believe that Nadia would stay by my side.
And then, I realized—truly realized—what I was really afraid of. Not just an instinct, but a certainty. I was afraid of being abandoned.
What if I was closely—and in a very bad way—connected to the pureblood supremacists, and the people who had gradually come into my life ended up hating me? What if all the bonds I'd made until now were cut off?
Logically, I knew the chances of that were slim. Anyone could see that.
If my pathetic fears were true, I wouldn't have just been dumped behind a back alley with my memories wiped.
But even knowing that, I trembled with anxiety. Like a child who's felt warmth for the first time and never wants to let go. Because I knew just how powerful the enemies trying to kill us were.
'... So you knew everything.'
Nadia had seen straight through me. I felt a rush of complicated emotions that I could hardly put into words building inside. I wanted to say something—anything—but before I could, my arm moved on its own, pulling Nadia into a hug.
Anxiety can spiral into endless delusions. But the way to soothe it is so simple. Just a handful of warmth is all it takes to keep the anxiety at bay.
A small frame filled my embrace. I knew she was petite, but holding her this close, I realized just how delicate her lines really were.
Just a single shirt. Just a single layer. Beneath that, the gentle body wriggled in my arms. With every breath, her chest gently rose and fell.
I relied on the warmth before me, and Nadia, understanding me, hugged me right back and gently patted my back. The roles felt upside down—by size, I should be the one comforting her, not the other way around.
When I buried my face in Nadia's chest and inhaled, she gave a ticklish giggle. Her fluffy tail tickled the back of my hand. Every time I exhaled and our breaths mingled, her ears fluttered.
For the first time since everything happened, I was able to escape the relentless tension that pressed on me. It would only be for now, but it was enough to be a stepping stone for what would come next.
At least during this moment, I could let my guard down. I didn't have to keep looking back. I didn't have to hold my breath, afraid she'd hear how it trembled.
Nadia looked up at me with a quiet smile. She waited patiently, letting my body relax, waving her tail unconcerned that the fur she had spent so much time brushing was getting mussed again. When I glanced at her, unable to ignore it, Nadia giggled.
"Looks like you'll have to brush my tail again, Hyun-woo."
"I will."
"Good."
"... Want a head massage, too?"
"H-huh? All of a sudden?"
"I just...felt like it."
Nadia made a flustered face. She wasn't trying to pull away, but her green eyes wavered for just a second.
And yet, she kept looking straight at me. She was seeing me—the person I was. As long as she looked at me that way, I could remain a person.
Realizing that, a strange longing suddenly flared up from deep inside. I involuntarily flinched.
"... Hyun-woo?"
"......"
I instinctively knew something dangerous would happen if I stayed like this any longer. So I quietly pulled away, but Nadia, who was virtually sitting on my lap, seemed to notice the change already. Her tail instantly went stiff, and her ears gave a sharp twitch.
She glanced downward, gauging something, then gasped in shock, stiffening all over and sucking in a breath.
Even in that state, Nadia made no move to break away—if anything, she leaned into me more. This couldn't go on. At least not here, not like this.
Before things could go any further, I suggested that it was too hot here and that we should go up to the roof. Nadia, her face red as a beet, nodded silently and followed me.
By the time we reached the roof, the sky had already darkened. The hazy gray above deepened into shadows as the artificial lights dimmed.
But only for a moment—a band of light fiercely fought the coming darkness: the aurora, glowing from the activated shield. A curtain of multicolored lights was strewn across the sky.
I set up a folding chair on one side of the roof and handed Nadia a telescope. She brought it to her eyes without hesitation, already knowing what features it held.
Cooled by the night air, Nadia's color calmed somewhat, and she gasped in admiration.
"Wow... It's been so long since I looked at the stars."
"Really?"
"Yeah, you should have shown me this way sooner!"
"True. I should have."
The excuse that I only came up here when I couldn't sleep, or when I woke up at dawn, was just that—an excuse. There was no reason we couldn't come up together like this anytime.
"Do you like stargazing?"
"I like looking at stars, but I don't really know the constellations."
"Are constellations really a thing? Just draw lines however you want, and that's your constellation."
Nadia stretched her hand straight up, telling me to pick out a star I liked. There were so many twinkling things surrounding the enormous ringed planet that I had trouble deciding.
Impatient, Nadia picked a star for me, moved her hand on the hologram screen, and soon created a ridiculous constellation. She said it was 'Carry'.
【¯\(ºдಠ)/¯】
Carry protested loudly, saying, "How is that supposed to be me? Does that even make sense?"
Her reaction was so intense that we couldn't help but laugh.
We watched the sky for who knows how long. Suddenly, Nadia turned to me with a deadly serious expression.
"Hyun-woo, hold still for a second."
"Huh? Why?"
"Just stay still."
Ignoring the awkward closeness between us, she grabbed my cheek and brought her face even closer.
What, now? At a time like this? That was my first thought, but her next words dashed my expectations.
"Your eyes... look a little blue?"
"Really?"
"Ah, maybe not. I think it's just the aurora reflecting."
After inspecting my eyes, Nadia giggled, saying she'd made a mistake. She sat back down and swung her legs over the edge of the roof, her fluffy tail curled around her.
I was about to make a joke, but then I froze—seeing Nadia up close, with the curtain of light in the night sky behind her.
That innocent smile, those gentle hands, the soft curve of her eyes, her swaying tail and twitching ears.
Did Nadia ask earlier if I liked stargazing?
Yeah, I did.
At first, the constellations were fascinating. Now, they helped me find my center. They made me feel grounded.
That's why, after Carrot gave me the telescope as a gift, stargazing became my new hobby.
But right now, the constellations didn't matter. Being at your side, where warmth radiated, was better than any constellation.
Coming to my senses, I found myself sitting pressed right up next to her. The warmth she gave off was embarrassing in a pleasant way.
As we shared the night sky, Nadia leaned her head on my shoulder. After a moment's hesitation, my nervous arm awkwardly wrapped around her delicate shoulders.
For whatever reason, Nadia couldn't help but giggle almost immediately.
And Carry was busy taking pictures of us.
【ദ്ദി(⩌ᴗ⩌)】
-------------= Clacky's Corner -------------=
A relatively peaceful chapter.
Also, Hyun-woo's eyes looking a little bit blue give credibility to my theory that he absorbed a bit of the Blue Eye's core.
If you're wondering about Carry's multiple faces, here they are:
【ദ്ദി(⩌ᴗ⩌)】
【【_】a(⩌ᴗ⩌ )】
【(⩌‸⩌ )】
【(⩌_⩌ )】
【( ⩌_⩌)】
【(ᐡ ⩌ ⩌ ᐡ)】
【♡⸜(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)⸝♡】
【Σ(°ロ°)】
【?(°Д°≡°Д°)?】
【(ʘ言ʘ╬)】
【(；☉_☉)】
【٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و】
【(˶• ֊ •˶)】
【( ´ ᐞ ` )】
【♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈ ༶ )】
【ﾍ(ﾟ∇ﾟﾍ)】
【（ｉДｉ)】
【( ≧ᗜ≦ )】
【☆٩(｡•ω〈｡)ﻭ】
【༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽o:【】:::::::〉】
【༼ ᕤ◕ロ◕ ༽o:【】:::::::〉】
【༼ง=ಠ益ಠ=༽o:【】:::::::〉】
【( `Д´)o:【】:::::::〉】
【( ･o˙ )】
【(„• ֊ •„)੭】
【⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝】
【(;° ロ°)】
【٩(^ᗜ^ )و】
【ε=ε=ε=((((((っ`•ω•´)っ】
【｡° ૮₍°´ᯅ`°₎ა °｡】
【(b˙◁˙ )b】
【џ(ºДºџ)】
【(⌐■_■)-︻╦╤─】
【ヾ(๑╹◡╹)ﾉ"】
【(☍д⁰)】
【ヽ(ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ】
【「(°ヘ°)?】
【૮꒰˶ ･֊･ ˶꒱ა】
【c( 'o')っ!】
【( °ᗝ° ).ᐟ.ᐟ】
【ꉂꉂ(ᵔᗜᵔ*)】
【¯\(ºдಠ)/¯】