The past is truly an abstract thing.
It is an event that has already occurred, yet at the same time nothing more than debris that has flowed away beyond time.
What allows people to reflect on the past is nothing more than their imperfect memory and the written records into which that memory was carved.
Some say this:
The future is uncertain, but the past is clear.
Of course it would seem that way. In the future, no one knows what will happen.
It is difficult to predict, and things that defy common sense often occur.
The moment such things unfold, the future becomes the present, but Ludger decided to lump even that into “the future” for now.
Then what of the past?
A past fixed once remains as it is. It neither disappears nor changes.
The past remains the past. Quite literally, the unchanging truth.
‘But is that really so? Is the past truly something that never changes?’
One only had to look at the deeds committed long ago by the now-fallen Theocracy of Bretus.
They manipulated history to suit their tastes exactly as they wished.
People believed that distorted past to be the absolute truth.
Some of that was due to indoctrination, but the greater cause was that the true past had been hidden while lies were presented as truth.
Even after the Theocracy fell and fragments of the true past were revealed, the result was the same.
People who had firmly believed in the lie as truth could not accept the real truth.
They instead dismissed the real truth as a lie and tried to insist they had never been wrong.
Of course, strictly speaking, the past itself does not change.
What changes are the people—and the perspective through which those people look upon the past.
The past always remained as it was, but if the eyes observing that past changed, then what would happen?
If an apple that was once an apple were to be called an orange, and that belief became widely accepted until most people thought it truly was an orange—
Then is it an apple, or is it an orange?
‘In the end, even the past is not clear. It is symbolic, ambiguous. Remembering the past comes from one’s own memory after all.’
Human memory is not perfect.
They cannot even fully remember the scene right in front of their eyes; whatever they do not focus on becomes blurry.
So when you ask such people to recall the events of the past, that recollection becomes nothing more than a biased fragment seen from a single angle.
Even that fragment can be distorted by memory and emotion.
Just like the future, the past is inevitably hazy.
‘And even if you write it down, the author’s subjective view will seep in.’
No one can record every minute and second of history, so the data must inevitably be fragmentary.
Those lacking parts must be reconstructed through reasonable inference, testimonies, and traces left at the scene.
But can such a thing truly be called truth?
Ludger did not think so.
‘The past I remember is no different. I can’t say for certain that the past I recall is truly accurate.’
Ludger was not perfect.
He merely tried his utmost not to forget the moments of that time.
That was why Ludger wished to look back.
To retrace the path he had walked.
And to revisit the people he had encountered along that way.
He wanted to meet them again, to reaffirm the life he had lived.
‘Only then can I move forward.’
He had stayed in one place for three long years.
It would not be wrong to say that time had effectively frozen and he had only now awakened from a long sleep.
Ludger lacked the drive to move toward the future. He had accomplished his long-cherished goals, and he was busy enough trying to adapt to a present that had changed completely.
That was why Ludger wanted to look back at his past.
He thought that perhaps some clue or catalyst lay hidden there.
‘Exploring the past in order to walk toward the future. Truly ironic.’
But at the same time, inevitable.
The future was an unexplored jungle.
One could recklessly leap in with nothing but courage, advancing barehanded.
Such was the way of adventurers born with a natural desire to explore.
‘But that is not my way.’
At the very least, Ludger believed one should know the terrain and prepare proper equipment—and perhaps even a machete—before entering.
This was the process for that.
A process for someone who had finally become a true inhabitant of this world, to live wholly upon this land.
Ludger slowly rose from his seat.
The place where he stayed was as luxurious as it had been when he first arrived at the Imperial Castle.
He put on his black coat—his own belonging.
Looking in the mirror to straighten his appearance, Ludger picked up his cane.
It was a cane that gleamed like obsidian, with the carved figure of a raven at the end of the handle.
Srrrng.
He drew the swordstick hidden inside to check the condition of the blade.
The steel stretched perfectly straight, without a single scratch.
Satisfied by the mesmerizing silver shine that could captivate on sight, Ludger sheathed it back into the cane.
When Ludger opened the door and stepped outside, Passius, who had been waiting, spoke.
“You are finally ready. Her Majesty is waiting.”
“I fear I may have taken too long.”
“Well, I imagine she will understand.”
Passius gave a small laugh, then asked Ludger with subtle curiosity:
“So, did you enjoy yourself yesterday?”
“Thanks to your consideration.”
“And what happened with the young lady?”
There was a strange note of expectation in Passius’s voice.
Ludger calmly recounted what had happened the previous night.
“I discovered a new horizon in magic, so I agreed to help her in the future. Thinking about that, I find myself rather looking forward to it.”
“Uh... magic?”
Passius repeated.
“Yes. Magic.”
“Hm?”
Passius tilted his head in confusion.
He had met Rine and helped her find Ludger.
The expression on Rine’s face when she asked to see Ludger had revealed her emotions and resolve clearly to him.
As a knight, he could not simply ignore such a thing.
So Passius had entrusted his role as guide to Rine.
Not because he was bored of waiting.
Well, it wouldn’t be true to say he hadn’t been curious, but more than that, he had a strong hunch that something interesting would happen.
So he had thoughtfully arranged the opportunity—yet what was this answer Ludger had given?
‘He doesn’t seem to be making excuses. Judging by how he says it, he’s serious.’
So the young lady had failed!
Passius barely restrained the impulse to smack his own forehead.
Well, there would be plenty of chances in the future anyway.
‘But if Her Majesty finds out what I’ve done, will she punish me?’
Though the thought flashed across his mind, Passius simply shrugged his shoulders.
Well, why not? Wishing to see something entertaining was a natural human desire.
“Well then, let’s go. Her Majesty has finished preparing and is waiting.”
Following Passius’s lead, Ludger walked toward the audience chamber.
On the way, Ludger encountered someone.
“That person is...”
The other man also recognized Ludger and stopped. Leading several attendants, he possessed an unmistakably noble bearing.
The dignified young man resembled Aileen and Erendir in certain ways.
Yes. Ludger remembered now.
The Second Prince, Ivelon von Exilion.
“Ah, you are...”
Ivelon, too, recognized Ludger and formed a faint smile.
Ludger wondered if he should show proper manners to royalty, but unexpectedly, Ivelon raised a hand to stop him first.
“That won’t be necessary. I am merely someone who resides within the imperial palace. You need not treat me as royalty.”
Sensing the sincerity in that voice, Ludger looked at him directly instead of bowing.
Ivelon’s appearance was frail and somewhat blurred in impression, yet his eyes were firm and clear, containing an unwavering heart.
A man whose outward fragility hid an unshakable inner core.
Someone Ludger regarded highly.
“I have heard the story.”
“The events of three years ago? There’s not much to say. Someone like me, who had long acted as Bretus’s vanguard, has no right to say anything.”
At the honest confession, Ivelon’s attendants gasped in shock.
They had been drawn to Ivelon precisely because of his personal character—people who truly followed him.
They also knew the shameful past and painful memory that weighed upon him.
To Ivelon, his past as a hound of the Theocracy was deeply humiliating.
Even if it had been unavoidable, that did not erase what had happened.
They had all treated the matter with great care, yet here he was admitting it directly.
And to Ludger, of all people.
Considering Ludger’s origin, it was an especially significant thing to say.
Of course, the attendants did not know that Ludger was Heathcliff.
Seeing Passius personally guide him made them assume he was simply an esteemed guest.
“I know well what I have done. In fact, I consider it more than enough that I am even allowed to remain here in the Imperial Castle. I can only feel apologetic toward my sister and brother.”
Ivelon assumed Ludger had heard everything from his elder sister.
And indeed, he was not wrong—Ludger had spoken with Aileen and learned of Ivelon’s actions.
However—
“That is not what Her Majesty said.”
Ivelon did not understand Ludger’s words at first.
“What I heard was that Her Majesty believes she has an undeservingly virtuous younger brother. She said he is so kind that he can make the most selfless choices of anyone. She said she could not do the same—that you are more admirable than anyone else in the world.”
“My sister...”
After the war ended, Ivelon had secluded himself in regret over what he had done.
Only recently had he begun to walk around the palace again, yet the guilt toward his family still weighed heavily upon him.
He had thought that if his sister, brother, and father hated him, then so be it.
He was willing to accept that.
Yet the truth Ludger delivered was different.
“That is what family is.”
Ludger’s final words stirred something deep within Ivelon’s chest.
“H-ha. Yes. Family... yes.”
Yes. They were family. Irreplaceably precious family.
That was what Ivelon had sought, even while defying the will of the Theocracy of Bretus.
And that was what the cold, unyielding Empress Aileen also believed.
She held the same thought ◈ Nоvеlіgһт ◈ (Continue reading) as he did.
“...I would like to speak longer, but it seems now is not the time.”
“Indeed. I feel the same regret. But there will always be another chance.”
“Yes. I look forward to the day we meet again.”
The Second Prince Ivelon bowed politely, visibly relieved, then took his leave.
As Ludger watched his retreating figure, Passius spoke in an exaggerated tone:
“Oh, splendid. To think you would phrase it in such a way.”
“I merely said what I heard.”
“In this world, saying only what one has heard is one of the hardest things.”
Soon, the two reached the audience chamber and entered through the doors.
“You’re late.”
The moment they stepped inside, Aileen’s reprimanding voice greeted them.
Sitting on the throne, she looked down at them.
With a luxurious dress and a crown befitting her status, she embodied the title of Empress perfectly.
Her splendid adornments matched her hair, and the long red mantle draping from either side of the throne was striking.
“To keep the Emperor waiting—such insolence. In another country, you would already be on the execution platform.”
“Perhaps the second time would be difficult.”
At Ludger’s skillful reply, Aileen shot him a sharp glare.
Truly, she had not risen to this position for nothing; her presence and charisma were overwhelming.
Yet imperial authority meant nothing to Ludger.
Knowing this, Aileen relaxed and let out a faint laugh.
“So, what do you intend to do now?”
“I haven’t decided exactly what to do, but if anything, I will probably wander the world for a while.”
To wander the world—there lay his intent to meet the people he remembered.
“How long will it take?”
“It won’t take too long. I won’t be roaming aimlessly, and more importantly, I now have the means to travel great distances swiftly.”
“A grown man going on a journey of self-discovery.”
“Heh. Your Majesty, is that not a good thing?”
The one who cut into the conversation was Lutus Wardot, standing at the side.
“That is the proof of youth.”
Lutus thumped Alex on the shoulder with his large hand.
Alex winced in pain but waved brightly at Ludger.
Ludger returned a nod.
“So, are you leaving right away?”
“The sooner the better.”
“Where will you go first? Ah, just curiosity.”
“First, I should meet someone close whom I have not yet seen.”
Blue mana rose over Ludger’s body.
The shimmering azure light instantly darkened and melted into shadow.
“Ater Nocturnus.”
His magic shadowed his coat and rippled like heat haze.
“Let’s go. To the kingdom of the elves.”