Sedina hesitated in front of Julia while Julia let out a small sigh as Sedina stood there, unsure of what to say.
"Answer me. Why didn't you keep your promise that day?"
"……."
Sedina clamped her mouth shut as she remembered the promise from that day.
As children, Sedina and Julia had been best friends.
Talented in magic, Julia had been one of the students sponsored by the Rosen family and as a result, Julia often visited the Rosens, so it was only natural that she grew close to Sedina, the only other girl her age.
Julia was so gifted that even at the time she was said to be unparalleled.
Adults spoke highly of her, praising her talent. As such, she was looked down upon by her peers.
But Sedina was different. Sedina was an oddity. She was smiling, cheerful, and had a certain air about her that drew you in. Watching her play in nature was like coming face to face with a fairy tale.
The arrogant Julia was instantly drawn to Sedina and the two became best friends who genuinely enjoyed each other's company. But their relationship didn't last long.
The main reason was the death of Sedina's mother.
The loss of her mother changed Sedina. She refused to see Julia and preferred to be alone.
Refusing to see anyone, Sedina locked herself in her room and Julia was devastated.
She had heard about Sedina's refusal to see anyone from her family but had expected her friend to meet her, but she refused to do so.
Julia felt betrayed by Sedina's behavior.
No matter who it was, it would have been easy for her to feel skeptical and give up. But Julia didn't give up.
-Who doesn't want to see me?
Julia was called a genius, and her ego was stronger than anyone else's. Even when others would have given up easily, Julia refused to let her pride get in the way. But Sedina continued to avoid her like a frightened rabbit burrowing deeper into its burrow.
Even when Julia was accepted into the School of Dreaming at the Tower, Sedina didn't visit her.
In her head, Julia understood Sedina.
Her mother, the person she trusted most, had died, and she must have felt like she was alone in the world.
Even if she had friends, they couldn't fill the void of a family.
Julia knew because she felt the same way.
Geniuses are lonely. They may be lauded for their brilliance, but they can't wash away the emptiness inside. That's why Julia was drawn to Sedina, who was as special as she was.
She wished Sedina could have been at least as honest with her. If she had asked for help, Julia would have helped her in any way she could.
Sedina was the first and last friend Julia ever made.
For a brilliant girl with an overconfident and unwavering sense of self, her first friend was more important than anything else. So when her friend tried to push her away, the blow was devastating. So much so that she still holds onto it, even after all these years.
"Answer me."
"……."
Sedina couldn't even formulate an excuse because she had felt guilty for Julia for a long time.
A friend who was talented, beautiful, and cared about her more than anyone else was a good person, almost too good for her timid, cowardly self. But the times they'd laughed and played together were long gone.
Sedina knew she couldn't go back to the past anymore. She hated her family and had joined the Black Dawn Society for the sole purpose of doing all the dirty work.
She had seen the darkness of the world and dipped her toes in it. She was no longer the innocent Lady Rosen. That's why she can't treat Julia as a friend like she used to.
The child you knew is no more. I am no longer the innocent Sedina I once was.
The words echoed hollowly in my mind, unable to leave her mouth.
She couldn't muster the courage to speak because she was still the same coward she always was. So she continued to ignore her and run away hoping that one day, Julia would get tired and walk away.
Sedina knew she was terribly selfish but Julia didn't give up.
Even after she entered Theon, she found an opportunity to get close to Sedina.
Sedina was not blind, and she knew it. She knew, but she ignored it.
It was better to ignore Julia and be done with it or so she thought.
"Why?"
The moment she met Julia's sorrowful gaze Sedina was forced to face the past she had avoided until now.
She didn't know what to say, but she steeled herself and opened her mouth.
"Why are you saying that now?"
"I've been watching you since the beginning of the semester…….Of course, I didn't approach you then. You were avoiding me, and you didn't look well."
Sedina couldn't argue with that. She had been on the outs for a long time after joining the Black Dawn Society.
She was not trusted by the organization, and despite her skills, she was ostracized and watched over.
The more she did so, the more she beat herself up like an obsessive compulsive, driving herself to the edge because this was all she had left.
She couldn't let go of it, even if it was rotten.
"But I've noticed that you're bright again, like you used to be. Probably since……you became Mr. Rudger Chelici's teaching assistant."
That was the moment when Sedina began to change.
"Why?"
"I'm sure Mr. Rudger has been a good influence on you, but you know what, Sedina, he's a dangerous person."
The words startled Sedina to the core and she couldn't imagine why Julia would suddenly say that.
Was she about to reveal Mr. Rudger's identity?
Regardless of Sedina's surprise, Julia continued.
"Sedina, as you know, I can use dream magic. I can enter a person's dreams, and I can see into their dreams……as well."
"You're telling me you've been peeking into his dreams?"
"Not at first because Mr. Rudger didn't have dreams. He does not dream. It's a rare constitution, even within the Dream School but suddenly, one day, I began to see his dreams, however faintly."
Julia remembered the faintest trace of Rudger's dreams.
She had caught a glimpse of the tenuous connection to the dream world that Rudger had made since his trip to the Order Synod.
It would have been difficult for a wizard of her caliber to recognize it and Julia's talent made it possible.
"The traces of the dream were very faint and brief, but I didn't miss the moment, and I saw it."
"That, that's a bad thing."
Sedina found it ironic that she was saying this.
She had killed a man, and now she was calling Julia a bad person for peeking into someone else's dreams. But that was the entire defense she could muster.
Julia didn't bother to defend herself against Sedina's words because she had no other choice.
She knew it wasn't right, but she wanted to know what kind of man Rudger was for changing her.
"It was only part of it, but I did see……Rudger Chelici commit murder."
Murder.
Sedina swallowed hard at the word.
Hearing that Rudger had killed someone didn't come as a surprise to her. It's funny to say, but it's now bordering on the obvious.
What matters now, however, is that Julia has found out a secret that no one should know.
'Ugh, what am I going to do?'
Sedina wondered.
If Julia wanted to, she could tell everyone else.
'Not that anyone would trust her, of course.'
The reputation Rudger had built up was solid enough to withstand any personal attack.
Julia, on the other hand, is a first-year senior and a Tower prospect from the Dream School.
Her voice cannot be called weak and if she started a rumor, someone would believe it. Or, even if they don't, they'll be fanned by people who hate Rudger and want to bring him down.
She knew that there was no way Rudger could be threatened by something like that. But Sedina couldn't bear the thought of it happening.
'I have to stop her, but how?'
Sedina didn't have a good reason to stop Julia and if she tried to reprimand her, she would only raise Julia's suspicions.
Sedina hesitated for a moment before speaking up.
"……What was the incident?"
For the time being, she was going to use her I didn't know attitude to confirm what Julia had found out.
Julia's face lit up since for the first time, Sedina had responded favorably to her words.
"Do you know a girl named Rene from Mr. Rudger's class?"
Sedina nodded.
She was one of the few students in the first grade that possessed a rare form of magic, and for a commoner, she was strikingly good-looking. Above all, she was a favorite of Rudger's, perhaps his favorite of all the students.
To be honest, even Sedina felt a little jealous.
But why did this girl's name come up so suddenly?
As if reading the look in Sedina's eyes, Julia explained.
"In the past, Rene had a relationship with Mr. Rudger."
"They had a relationship?"
"Yes. A long time ago, when she was a child and Mr. Rudger was younger than us."
Julia said it was at least a decade in the past as she recounted the dreamscape she had seen then.
"That's when Mr. Rudger killed Rene's mother."
"……!"
Sedina's eyes widened at the story she didn't know. At the same time, she understood why Mr. Rudger had such an attitude toward Rene.
The pieces of the puzzle fit together in her head.
'The guilt he was showing her was because of this.'
But there was an unanswered question.
"That Rene girl didn't seem to know anything about it."
"Of course she didn't. Her memories of that time were sealed by someone, and there's only one person who can unseal them."
Rudger Chelici killed Rene's mother and sealed her memories.
"So, Sedina, stop being his assistant right now. Mr. Rudger is a dangerous man, a murderer who hides his identity."
"That's……."
"I understand if you think I'm lying, but I'm serious. I'm telling you this out of concern for you. I don't know about you, but I still consider you a friend."
"……."
Julia's sincerity was enough to convince Sedina and Sedina really did consider Julia a good friend but she couldn't tell her what she'd been through and what she'd done in the last few years.
It wasn't so much a selfish thought as fear of being despised by Julia. On the contrary, if Julia knew, she'd be there to help her with open arms.
Sedina hated it and she didn't want to put her friend in danger.
She was grateful to Julia who still cared about her, even after all the times she'd broken her promise and tried to push her away.
She could have hated her, but she didn't. That's why Sedina couldn't go back to her old relationship with Julia. Not for her own sake, but for Julia's.
"……I'm sorry."
"Sedina!"
"But to me…… Mr. Rudger is the best thing since sliced bread."
"Didn't you hear me?! That's all a lie!"
"Julia, I understand that you say that, but……there are definitely good parts of Mr. Rudger that you don't even know about."
That was all Sedina could say.
With something to hide, she couldn't tell Julia everything.
"Are you saying you don't believe me……?"
"This is between me and him."
After saying that, Sedina bit her lip for a moment, and then spoke her mind.
"……So it's none of your business."
The words were a brutal rejection and Julia's puffy eyes shook violently. Her face contorted as if she were about to cry, but also as if she were about to explode with rage.
Sedina found it hard to look away and she would rather Julia give up right here. It was far better for her to be hated than to inconvenience Rudger.
"You……."
Julia started to say, but then clamped her mouth shut. Her expression, which had been swirling with mixed emotions, returned to its normal color as if she were wearing a mask.
Julia Plumhart, first-year senior at Theon, and a prodigy and prospect of the Tower.
"……Okay."
With that, Julia turned on her heel and stormed off.
Sedina stared after her and clenched her fists. Her heart sank, and she wished she could say sorry right now.
She wanted to apologize for all the years she'd ignored her and for all the wrongs she'd done but she couldn't.
Julia's words stayed with her, haunting her, but there was nothing she could do about it.
'Besides.'
The fact that Rudger killed Rene's mother was not a lie.
Julia's sincerity and her desperation to convince her could not be an act. It's also unlikely that Julia would lie so easily so Rudger really did kill Rene's mother.
'Why would you……do such a thing?'
Surely Rudger had his reasons.
As Sedina thought about it, she wondered if she should tell Rudger about it.
* * *
Rudger stared at the silvery liquid in front of him. From the looks of it, it was mercury at room temperature.
Compared to the other objects, all of which had their own distinctive shapes, it was a shabby, alien thing but Rudger understood that there was no 'given shape' for this guy.
"Anyway, I was looking for a new weapon that wouldn't draw attention to me."
He found a pretty good one.