Rudger opened his closed eyes.
He looked up and saw his surroundings where reference books, papers, open exercise books and pencils appeared.
'This place.'
The scene was familiar, and Rudger was about to say something was wrong.
"Are you awake? You must be tired."
The voice behind him turned his head.
In his own small room there was someone sitting on his bed, a man in his mid-thirties, with a frail appearance, but with an aura of kindness.
As soon as the boy saw him, he muttered under his breath.
"Father."
"Father? Gee, my son's all grown up. He doesn't even call me Dad anymore. How's your studying going?"
The boy looked at the reference books on his desk and realized what was going on.
He'd fallen asleep while studying.
"Uh, yeah. I'm just trying to do my best."
"I see. My son wants to be a doctor or a scientist, and as a family, we should be supportive, but you need to take it easy. I'm worried you're overdoing it and damaging your health."
"No, I just fell asleep."
With that lame excuse, I put my pencil back in my hand. I had no intention of taking a weekend off to study for the upcoming exam.
As I stared at the problem book and tried to solve it, I realized something was wrong.
Why was I studying?
A small question suddenly popped into his mind.
He shouldn't have had to think about it, but he found himself strangely searching for the answer.
Yes, there was. There was something he wanted to achieve.
The reason he was studying so hard was because of his dream.
'But how did I come to have that dream…….'
The pencil fell from the boy's hand and rolled across the desk.
He didn't think to catch it as it tumbled to the floor.
"I see."
The boy rose from his chair and looked back at his father.
"It was a dream."
"……."
The father nodded, smiling kindly while the boy looked at his father and pursed his lips to say something but in the end, the words failed to materialize and dissipated like smoke in his mouth.
The boy bit his lip and slowly made his way to the door and the moment he put his hand on the doorknob, his father asked.
"Are you going?"
"Yes."
The boy replied, his eyes fixed on the doorknob.
"There's a kid I need to help, so I have to go."
"I see."
The boy said the words, but he didn't open the door. Maybe this is where he wanted his father to tell him to stay with him a little longer.
A little bit would be nice, so let's talk.
It's a dream, so it's worth it, right?
His grip on the doorknob loosened.
"Dad, I……."
"Go."
The boy's eyes widened at the words and looked back at his father with trembling pupils.
His father was looking at him with a look of pride and with that the boy realized that the story was finished. There was no need to start over.
His grip on the doorknob tightened again.
"Okay. Let's go."
The boy opened the doorway wide.
There was nothing to see, but he didn't hesitate to step through. He didn't need a goodbye, he had heard enough.
His childhood self had been replaced by that of Rudger Chelici.
* * *
A pitch-black darkness where nothing can be seen.
An endless abyss of unconsciousness.
The bottom of the black void was filled with crimson flowers.
The red flowers were beautiful, but they were also eerie, as if they were steeped in blood.
Flora lay in a field of them.
"Mmm."
Flora opened her eyes and pushed herself up, she looked around.
"Where am I……?"
Her bleary eyes snapped open and realizing what had just happened, Flora put one hand to her forehead.
"Yes. I must have been there…….'
A black mist oozed from the cracks in the ground. It was about to strike at Rene with a will of its own, but she stepped in front of it and blocked the attack.
She was swallowed by the fog and her vision went black and when she opened her eyes, she was here.
"No one's here!"
Flora scrambled to her feet and shouted but no voice answered so she began to walk. She wanted to get away from this monotonous, creepy world of red and black as soon as possible.
"Is anyone out there?"
She tried to shout louder, but her voice was swallowed up by the endless darkness and not even an echo was heard.
Flora couldn't even begin to realize how big this place was. Maybe this was an infinite space with no end.
Suddenly, an anxiety flashed through Flora's mind.
What if I never get out of here?
In a panic, Flora ran through the flowers.
The feel of the red petals against her ankles was unpleasant. It felt like an invisible hand was constantly teasing her ankle. Everywhere she passed, red petals fluttered into the air.
Flora called out as she ran.
"Is anyone there? Someone help me."
She didn't know how long she could keep running.
Gasping for breath, she finally slumped to the ground.
"Please, someone……."
She pleaded in a sobbing voice, but the world remained silent.
She knew that no one would come to her aid because she had always been a loner.
The moment she realized what she had been denying, she lost all motivation and slumped down like a marionette with a broken string.
No one would come to her rescue.
Not family, not friends, not anyone.
No one. Maybe it was for the best.
So it was better to just disappear.
Staying here didn't seem so bad even though she can't meet people here but she wouldn't get hurt.
A tear rolled down Flora's cheek. A single tear formed on the tip of her chin and fell onto the red petals.
Slowly Flora's consciousness began to fade as she was immersed in the flower field.
Her body became more and more transparent as she lost motivation and started fading away.
The moment when Flora's solid self was about to be turned off like a switch being flipped in the world where nothing existed but a field of red flowers, a small change occurred.
[BANG!]
The dull sound of a fist hitting something solid was heard as a beam of light hit Flora.
Flora raised her bowed head. Her vacant eyes stared straight ahead.
There was a tiny, tiny crack in the black void and the light that illuminated Flora was leaking through that crack.
The dull sound continued as the gold began to spread out like a net.
As the crack grew larger, the light leaking out grew clearer and the void shattered.
Beyond the shattered space was a pure white world of light and a man stood on the field of flowers, his back to the blinding light.
"Ah……."
Flora's pupils dilated and her red lips quivered in disbelief at the sight before her as Flora mouthed a name.
"Professor Rudger?"
"Flora Lumos."
Rudger stood and faced Flora. Her complexion was pale and her eyes devoid of light. Worst of all, her body was turning translucent but Flora was alive.
It was not too late.
"Why, why are you here…….?"
"I came to help."
"Help, you mean, me?"
Rudger nodded at Flora's stunned inquiry.
Flora was about to say thank you, but she bit her lip as she remembered her situation.
Torn between sadness and joy she glared at Rudger.
"Are you going to pretend to care now?"
"……."
"I know, you don't really care about me anyway, I'm just a talented student, nothing more, nothing less."
"Flora."
"Why the hell did you come? You could have just abandoned me, like my family did to me, and then I wouldn't have…… this much trouble."
Flora shouted, raising her quills like a prickly hedgehog and Rudger listened to her in silence.
Then, when she lowered her voice, he spoke up.
"Flora. I'm not going to deny that I'm here to save you as a teacher but being a teacher is only a secondary reason. You're the real reason I'm here. I'm here purely because I'm worried about you."
"……You're worried about me? Ha! That's ridiculous."
"I know you're struggling. I understand where you're coming from. I've been through something similar to what you're going through, and I couldn't leave you alone."
"Don't lie!"
Flora thought Rudger was lying on purpose to convince her. He wouldn't say he understood her otherwise.
She was abandoned by her family and nearly branded at a young age for religious reasons.
Even if that hadn't happened, the memory of that day has left an indelible scar.
But do you understand that?
You've been through something similar?
Who are you?
"What the hell do you think you know about me, to say you understand? You can't! I've been through so much! I've suffered so much!"
Flora vented her inner darkness.
Normally, she would never show it as she wasn't even aware of it.
"Do you have any idea what it's like to be abandoned by your family?"
"……Flora."
"Don't say my name in that voice!"
As Flora shouted, the world began to vibrate. Immediately afterward, from behind Flora's back, a black shadow rose up.
[Yeah. Flora hates it].
A paper doll-like figure with an elongated upper body appeared. The shadow's face flickered, revealing pure white eyes and a mouth.
Rudger's eyes narrowed as he realized the creature's identity.
"Basara."
[Surprised? I didn't know there was magic that could reach the depths of the subconscious, but it's too bad Flora doesn't want to go out.]
Rudger didn't respond to Basara's words. Instead, he turned to Flora.
"Flora, are you sure you don't want to leave?"
"If I do, what difference does it make? It's all the same anyway. Jealous siblings, disdainful stares, a family that doesn't approve…….There's no difference."
"There is."
"What did you say?"
"I said there is a difference."
Flora pursed her lips at Rudger's near-assertion.
"What the hell do you mean?"
"You're the one who decides that."
"I'm not the one who decides……."
Flora's voice trailed off.
She was desperate for someone to save her. Maybe she even expected it.
She wanted Rudger to tell her that he would help her, that he would protect her when she was out there. But Rudger didn't seem to have any intention of saving her.
"Flora, you wanted to be saved. You wanted someone to reach out and take you by the hand and lift you up. I understand that feeling."
"Knowing that, why on earth would you…….?"
"Because, Flora, in the end, it is you who must change."
"……."
"Even if I help you, if you are not willing to walk on your own, my help will be of no use. It will only ease your mind for a moment. It's not a fundamental solution."
"……."
"And yet, if I try to change you, it is my will, not yours. You will end up living a life of being kept alive by others again. Is that really what you want?"
Rudger stared at Flora with an unwavering gaze that contained not even an ounce of falsehood.
He spoke the cold, hard truth, without any consideration.
"Salvation is not something you can ask for; it is something you must earn. No one can live your life for you. No one can fully understand your despair. And, of course, no one can help you overcome that despair……."
Rudger never spoke of saving others because that would be too arrogant. He could only save himself.
"So I ask you, Flora. Do you want to change?"
It's unreasonable to expect salvation from others, something like that will never come, no matter how hard you try.
At least that's what Rudger thought.
Therefore, salvation, even the salvation of others, was never an option for Rudger.
Salvation done by someone else is no salvation at all. It's just another form of captivity in the name of salvation. In the end, man had to rise of his own free will.
She had to fight for herself and all he can offer is a little help, a little push, on the back of someone who wanted to move forward.
"If you want to change, I'll help you. As long as you don't give up on yourself, I'll cheer you on."
That was Rudger's conviction. It was his path and belief.
"……."
Flora didn't know what to say.
To be honest, she wanted to get out of here and go back outside. But the outside was so scary.
All the things that had hurt her were still out there.
It would be a terrible thing to have to face it again.
Still, if anyone can help her, even just one person that would be great……..
[Too bad.]
Then a voice interrupted them.
[I can't believe you're talking about something so funny without me.]
Basara, who had been bouncing around on Flora's back, began to grow in stature.
At first, it was only about three meters tall, but then it grew to the point where Flora had to lift her head quite a bit.
[Flora, have you forgotten that the outside world is full of pain? This place, on the other hand, is different, and if you're here, you won't be hurt by anyone, because I'll make sure of that].
Basara leaned his massive frame down and whispered in Flora's ear.
[I can understand you, because we are one, and only I can fully empathize with your pain.]
"Ah……."
[Don't believe that man. You know he's never acknowledged you, even after all that talk. He's a liar.]
Basara's whisper threw Flora into confusion but then Rudger spoke up.
"I've felt it before when we fought."
Basara lifted his head and stared at Rudger. His jet-black face and pure white eyes were so monotonous, yet they held an indescribable, inorganic fear.
"You talk too much."
[Ouch. To say that to me in this situation].
Basara completely unfolded his bowed body. It felt as if a giant mountain had risen from the ground.
[This is my world, my domain, not the outside world, and you think a mere mortal weak mind can stand against it?]
Rudger glanced at the cowering Flora, then up at Basara.
"We'll see."
That's why he came here.