When Ryuk woke up the next day, the first thing he felt was a
GRUUUUUUUUUUM— the sound of his stomach reverberating with hunger.
"Huh?" A faint, shocked noise escaped him as he looked down at his stomach.
Surprisingly, he was incredibly hungry.
Ryuk hadn’t bothered about the cafeteria since the first time he had arrived there.
He had never gone back because, after every special cultivation session at night, his hunger usually disappeared, leaving him with no need to eat. He thought it wiser to focus that time and energy on training instead.
But now, for the first time in close to 15 days, his stomach was actually grumbling with hunger.
’Wait, if I don’t even have a stomach, then how come I can feel hunger? Where does the food even go? Just what did you do, Uncle Bob?’ Ryuk thought, feeling a little headache creeping in with the confusion.
However, his thoughts were interrupted when he heard a voice.
"Let me guess—you haven’t eaten at all in close to a week now?" Quinn’s mocking tone echoed through the room as the boy jumped down from his upper bunk, stretching his tiny body with a few satisfying cracks of his joints.
"Just don’t break your boneless back," Ryuk mocked as Quinn snorted.
"Tch."
"Go eat, you maniac. Imagine being defeated by hunger before the test. Heh. That said, it would be a real treat to watch, heh..." Quinn said, and Ryuk rolled his eyes.
Since there were no classes, the atmosphere around the camp was pretty lax compared to normal. Around this time, both of them would usually be fighting over who got to use the bathroom first, then sprinting off to class.
But Ryuk’s schedule remained unchanged. He needed to train as much as he could today. However, at the very least, he needed to visit the cafeteria to settle his grumbling stomach.
He rose up and moved to the bathroom, emerging a few minutes later, well-dressed in a simple white shirt and trousers, accented with a few blue designs.
"First time you’re wearing clothes with some other colors mixed in," Quinn observed.
Ryuk shrugged nonchalantly but narrowed his eyes when he noticed Quinn carefully folding clothes and tucking them into a travel bag.
"And what are you doing?" Ryuk asked, as Quinn rolled his eyes.
"Preparing."
"Preparing for what?"
"Preparing to leave, of course. The next test starts tomorrow, and while I’ve survived so far by sheer smartness, most likely, I’ll be eliminated tomorrow and asked to leave—just like the others who’ve already left."
"So why not pack my bag now instead of doing it tomorrow?" Quinn said as he continued, and Ryuk stood there in shock, his lips opening and closing a couple of times, trying to find the right words, but nothing came out.
In the end, his hands clenched tightly into fists before slowly relaxing.
He turned to Quinn before asking, "You really don’t even want to give it a try, do you? Even after all my efforts and words? Your mind is still so set and sure of your failure?"
Ryuk’s words came out almost as a whisper.
Quinn chuckled as he zipped up his clothes completely, moving to the bathroom to pack his brushes and other minor items.
"You see, Ryuk, after living with you for close to 24 days now, I’ve finally figured out what kind of person you are. You’re very stubborn."
"How so?"
"Let me ask you a question, Ryuk," Quinn said, his voice drifting from the bathroom.
"What is that?" Ryuk asked, staring at the bathroom door.
"Do you believe in fate?"
The question made Ryuk fall silent for a while.
Fate?
He had heard that word before from old scrap hunters, but he’d never really given it much attention.
"No, you don’t," Quinn said, stepping out of the bathroom with a bundle of towels, a toothbrush, and some shampoo. "And that’s the difference between you and most of the other geniuses here. The rest of us know that the Ultima Ten exist in this training camp. There’s no way we’re taking those spots from them."
"My belief aligns with the majority. That’s why I’m already packing my bags, having very well accepted the fate of the situation."
"But to you, Ryuk, the word ’fate’ doesn’t even exist. You believe everything is your responsibility, that everything is within your control."
"You think that if you work hard, you’ll pass. And if you don’t work hard, then you’ll fail. " Quinn asked as he walked out the door, holding his belongings.
"That is why you told me to fight back. Your belief, Ryuk, is that as long as someone fights back, that’s all there is to it."
"But fate exists in this world, Ryuk. It does, whether you like it or not. Everything happens due to fate..."
"That all sounds like bullshit," Ryuk said, his eyes dull.
"Tsk, tsk. You know, I pity you, Ryuk," Quinn said suddenly, a hint of melancholy in his voice.
"Look at me, Ryuk. Look at every lower genius not in the top ten. We all accept fate. We all know that if we fail, it’s simply due to fate—nothing more, nothing less."
"But for you, Ryuk. What about you, who doesn’t believe in fate? What happens if you fail?"
"You don’t believe in fate, so you have no one to blame. So who else will you blame for your failure?"
"You believe that if you work hard, you’ll pass. And that automatically means if you fail, it must be because you never really worked hard enough. Isn’t that your belief, Ryuk?"
Ryuk couldn’t help but agree internally.
He was training hard now because he believed that if he trained hard enough, he could defeat the Ultima Ten.
But then, what if he failed? That would mean he never really trained hard enough. That must mean he had still slacked off somewhere.
"You have nothing to fall back on. You have no fate to blame. So in the end, you blame yourself—for not trying enough, for not working hard enough."
"But did you really not work hard enough? I see you come back into this room every night, wincing in pain. You must have gone through a whole world of pain. How do you keep going through so much pain and rising back up the next day?"
"Your mentality that hard work is all that’s needed is flawed, Ryuk. Because what happens when you work hard only to fail in the end? Then what?"
"You know what Ryuk?"
"Huh?"
"You’d better pass the test—or die trying. Because I don’t think you’ll ever remain the same after you fail. The guilt of failure will haunt you, even in your dreams..."