Chapter 478: Growing Fears
[They’re still young, Ryuk. Don’t let it get to you.]
The system notification flashed as Ryuk walked through the broken dimension.
Yes, broken dimension—as there were broken platforms and buildings suspended in the air, fragments of destroyed floating along as if gravity didn’t exist at all.
And jumping from one platform to another was none other than Ryuk, with the same cold, emotionless gaze.
[Ryuk?]The system notification flashed once more as Ryuk continued his step.
[You’ve let it get to your heart.] The panel flashed as Ryuk stopped on a platform by the side, before sitting down on it, a deep sigh escaping his lips.
“It didn’t get to my heart,” he replied, his voice cold and husky.
[Then what’s with the mood?]
“It’s just…” Ryuk tried to say, but then the notification flashed again.
[…Familiar?] The system said as Ryuk’s eyes flashed before he sighed.
“Yes. Familiar.”
“This feels exactly the same as when I fell out with the Half-Fallen One,” Ryuk muttered softly, his memories drifting to that night.
“I love Morgaine.”
“I know now. I’ve been trying not to think about her these past few days, but I feel it in my bones. I’m missing something…”
“And when the Half-Fallen One invited me to that dinner, I thought I was finally part of something—a family.”
“And in just a blink, that all changed.”
“One second, I was getting the best feeling in my heart, and the next second, a bounty for my death had been placed on my head by the one who I thought could be a family.”
“Now, I’ve fallen completely out with Morgaine. I haven’t called her ever since and don’t even…” Ryuk muttered under his breath before halting.
“I’ll fight so hard for people. I’ll save their lives and the lives of their own people, and yet they would turn their blade against me and call me a monster on the slightest suspicion.”
“I don’t understand, System. Am I doing something wrong?” Ryuk muttered to himself in confusion as he looked at his hands, curling them into fists.
[I don’t think so. They just haven’t figured you out quite yet. I’m sure they’ll realize soon enough and appreciate your efforts.]
The system notification flashed as Ryuk unfurled his fists, before a thought flickered in his heart.
A thought he had been holding down since all these days but finally could no longer keep.
“Hey, System.”
[I’m here.]
“You know, I’ve been thinking about the fallout between me and the Half-Fallen One. I’ve been thinking what would happen if she knew her worst thoughts were actually true.”
“What if she knows that I’m a Knull?”
“But to be honest, I don’t think I care about her knowing. I’m more afraid of Morgaine knowing.”
“What would happen if Morgaine knows I’m a Knull?”
“Would she still love me? Would she still sleep peacefully by my side, knowing I’m of what torments her world?”
“And what of MadWhite?”
“Last time when he saw the bounty and me being a Knull, he laughed it off as impossible and had supported me to go into hiding.”
“But the thought that has gnawed at my mind since then.”
“What if he realized right then and there, that—true to the news—I’m a Knull?”
“Would he have offered for me to go into hiding, or… would he have come for my head himself?”
“Would he still refer to me as his intern, or would he call me a monster too…”
“And do you know what’s crazy about all of this, System?”
[Hmm-hmm?]
“It’s that I haven’t even unlocked my Knull bloodline yet.”
“What will happen once I embrace my Knull bloodline? Once I start cultivating Abyssal Energy?”
“What would I be then? Something worse than a monster?”
“Of all the people in the world, only Aster could be said to truly understand that I’m a Knull. But I could see it in her eyes sometimes too, System. Something had changed in her eyes that day she watched me kill that Fallen.”
“It’s like a light in the depths of her eyes died that day.”
“She saw me differently since then, and I believe everyone will be the same—no exception.”
[You’re a Knull. There’s no hiding it or trying to wrap it in candy nylon. You’re Knull—one of the most evil races in the universe.]
[And if my guess is right, you’re not just a Knull. Even amongst Knulls, honestly, you’re something worse. I can tell that from the little amount of information in my database about you.]
[But if there’s one thing I know, it’s that you’re not a monster.]
[Don’t be afraid of anyone calling you a monster either because of what you did or because they know you’re a Knull.]
[If they know you well enough, then they’ll realize you’re a Knull—not a monster.]
[If they call you a monster, it’s just because they don’t know you. And that’s not on you. That’s on them.]
[What will bring ruin to you, on the other hand, is thinking that being called a monster is now a reason for you to become one.]
[Be yourself. Be Ryuk Knull.]
[Let people who come for you, come for Ryuk Knull—not a boy with a Knull bloodline.]
[I think when you get back to Endearth, then stop denying what you are. If they realize it, don’t deny it. See if they choose you or leave you.]
[If you’re in a battle and your own people start leaving you because of the revelation that you’re a Knull, then that will lead to your own downfall faster than you think.]
[Leave the uncontrollable variables alone and do what’s in your limit.]
[So, get back up, speed through this trial, and go enter the Soulful Ruin of Niagra. Hopefully, you get taken back to Endearth after completing it.]
The system flashed as Ryuk rose up to his feet once more, inhaling deeply and in the next instant, he moved continuing into the distance.
The flame had been reignited, and it has resumed burning…for now.