Chapter 523 - 525: I Hope Neither of Us Will Regret
Bai Ruozhu wobbled, nearly losing her balance. She stifled back the tears, saying, "Er Lang, I know you worry about me. I promise that I will return. For you all and Dengdeng, I will come back safely."
Upon seeing Bai Ruozhu’s determination, Bai Zepei angrily threw the book he held onto the floor. "Is this how you act as a mother? Have you thought about what will happen to Dengdeng if you leave? He is still breastfeeding!"
"I have stored breast milk in the ice cellar. It can be warmed up to feed Dengdeng every day. And Dengdeng will not want him to have an accident, right?" Bai Ruozhu said as she squatted to retrieve Er Lang’s book. She knew Er Lang was genuinely angry since he loved books and would never have thrown them.
As she rose with the retrieved book, she couldn’t hold back her tears. She knew it wouldn’t be rational for her to go and that her going might not be helpful, but she just couldn’t resist her inner conflict.
She handed the book back to Er Lang. Two droplets of tears fell onto the book. The hand of Bai Zepei was shaking as he reached for it. He too was filled with sympathy. Ruozhu rarely cried, even after Chang Sheng disappeared, she didn’t cry, unlike some other girls. Later Ruozhu turned into a strong, smart and capable person, and she cried even less.
Looking at the tear stains on the book, Bai Zepei’s heart ached. Ruozhu was really heartbroken, wasn’t she?
"Remember when I asked if you regretted anything and you said that you had a bump on your head and didn’t remember much about Chang Sheng, so how could you have regrets? I want to ask you again today, will you regret this decision in the future?" Bai Zepei slowly asked.
Bai Ruozhu shook her head, "I don’t know if I will regret it, but once I’ve decided something, I will endeavor to not let myself regret it. Perhaps I may end up going for nothing, but if I do nothing, I won’t be able to appease myself."
Bai Zepei stayed quiet for a long time, then glanced at her, "Remember what you’ve said today. Now I must attend the Study Palace."
Watching Er Lang’s shrinking back figure, tears filled Bai Ruozhu’s eyes again. Er Lang, with his skinny body, carried such a heavy burden, and her decision today probably just added another burden to him, didn’t it?
Bai Ruozhu quickly wiped away her tears. It was not the time to indulge in sorrow. She needed to be strong.
She didn’t dare to go home right away with her present puffy eyes or her mom would definitely ask questions. Instead, she took a horse carriage to the market and bought many things needed for the journey, including dim sum and dried food. She also purchased a large amount of medicinal materials from the pharmacy, which cost a great deal of silver.
Fortunately, Jiang Yichun gave her two thousand silver banknotes. Along with the recent earnings from her business, she was able to afford all these things.
She would purchase something and then find a secluded alley to secretly put the items into her space.
After shopping around for a while, she touched her eyes, making sure they were fine, and then hired a carriage to take her home.
Once home, she milked her chests again, this time getting three bottles which she stored in the ice cellar.
Bai Zepei arrived home later than usual that evening, looking rather unwell. After dinner, he called Bai Ruozhu into his room with a stern face, saying, "I learnt from the official Meng that there’s indeed trouble there. He has also sent people to help."
Bai Ruozhu nodded. Er Lang had decided to support her, so he enquired about it.
"I plan to wait for three days. If there’s still no news, then I will leave," Bai Ruozhu whispered.
Bai Zepei sighed, "Tomorrow I’ll tell father and mother that official Meng invited you to treat a high-ranking official in a different location. If the treatment succeeds, you will be awarded by the Imperial Court and will come back after a few days."
Bai Ruozhu nodded. The reward for the suturing technique she had offered to the Imperial Court was expected to arrive soon, so it tied up well with this matter.
"I’ll ask mom and dad not to share this matter with others, so you can rest assured," Bai Zepei reassured.
Bai Ruozhu’s eyes welled up with tears again, and she said in a choked voice, "Thank you, Er Lang."
Bai Zepei sighed heavily again, "I hope I won’t regret my decision today, and I hope this doesn’t thrust you into a hole."
"I will return safe and sound," Bai Ruozhu earnestly vowed.
Bai Zepei didn’t want to look at his little sister anymore. He was afraid he might change his mind. If it hadn’t been for the numerous surprises Ruozhu had given him in the past half year and her insistence at this moment, he would never have allowed her to take this risk.
He didn’t have to wait for the future. He was regretting it already!
Footsteps were heard outside the room, and Lin Ping Er knocked on the door, saying, "What are you two siblings whispering about?"
Lin Ping Er noticed something was off with Bai Ruozhu and Bai Zepei.
Bai Zepei hurriedly welcomed his mother into the room and told her the excuse he had planned.
"Mom, tell father about this privately and don’t mention it to anyone else. If other family members ask about it, just tell them Ruozhu has been invited out of town to treat somebody but.don’t mention it’s a high-ranking official. Just say it’s a woman from a rich merchant’s family. This matter concerns politics in the Imperial Court and shouldn’t be disclosed," Bai Zepei added.
Upon hearing this, Lin Ping Er quickly asked, looking at Bai Ruozhu, "What about Dengdeng, are you taking him with you?"
Bai Ruozhu shook her head, "The journey is too far this time. I won’t take Dengdeng. I’ve stored my breast milk in the ice cellar. If he’s hungry, just warm one of the bottles to feed him."
"Can you stay? We don’t need to rely on a large reward. The child certainly can’t be without you," Lin Ping Er worriedly said.
Upon hearing her mother’s words, Bai Ruozhu’s eyes reddened. Luckily, the candle light in the room was dim and her mother didn’t notice she was about to cry.
"Mom, since official Meng himself said so, we must abide by the arrangement. It’s deemed necessary by the government," Bai Zepei whispered, glancing at his sister.
Hearing this, Lin Ping Er did not object further. Indeed, their entire family relied on living in Beiyu City and Er Lang’s future career was associated with official Meng. Moreover, they were living in a house arranged by the Meng family, so they ought to show their gratitude.
Finally, Lin Ping Er looked at Bai Ruozhu, "What if the milk you’ve stored is not enough?"
Bai Ruozhu handed her mother a hundred-silver banknote, "If it’s not enough, find a wet nurse or another mother who is breastfeeding to feed him. Keep this money safe, it can be used for household shopping. If there’s an urgent need, we can take some from the shop."
Lin Ping Er nodded and carefully accepted the banknote.
In the following two days, Bai Ruozhu spent all her time with Dengdeng, aside from arranging her affairs. She wanted to spend as much time with Dengdeng as possible, but she was torn between wanting Dengdeng to miss her less or more.
She even thought about how reluctant she was to leave Dengdeng, pondering bringing him along with her, but she eventually dismissed this crazy idea. She was taking a risk herself. How could she involve Dengdeng as well?