Even though she was a rational person and had clearly analyzed the pros and cons of the situation, she ultimately made an irrational decision.
Bai Ruozhu carried Dengdeng out of the house. Her family members didn’t know what she was up to. Before long, a delivery man came with ice, saying that the young lady had instructed him to put it in the cellar.
Lin Ping’er was dumbfounded. Though she knew that ice was best stored during winter, she wondered what the household could possibly need it for.
Bai Ruozhu had already bought some tonics and numerous porcelain bottles, and was now bustling about in the kitchen making soup. Lin Ping’er followed her into the kitchen and asked, "Ruozhu, what are you making?"
"Lactation soup." Bai Ruozhu replied without turning her head. She immersed herself in the busy work to distract herself from conjuring up dreadful thoughts of his bloodied appearance.
"Don’t you always have enough breast milk? Is your supply decreasing due to poor health?" Lin Ping’er asked curiously.
"No, no. I just want to store up some." Bai Ruozhu replied.
"What are all those porcelain bottles for?" Lin Ping’er questioned further.
"For preservation. You’ll see, mother. Now I need to wash these bottles. Could you please watch the stove for me?" With that, Bai Ruozhu took a basket full of porcelain bottles to clean them. Lin Ping’er assumed they were for storing medicine and didn’t ask any more questions.
By noon, Bai Ruozhu began to sterilize all the bottles by boiling them. Neither Lin Ping’er nor Fang Guizhi could understand why, so they simply let her be.
After drinking the lactation soup and eating a lot of food that was good for milk production, Bai Ruozhu quickly started to feel her breasts become engorged.
She washed her hands thoroughly and then returned to her room with two sterilized bottles wrapped in boiled cotton cloth. It wasn’t time for Dengdeng’s feeding yet, so she pumped the milk into the sterilized bottles, sealed them, and made plans to store them in the cool cellar. Given the current weather, combined with the ice, it should work perfectly as a fridge-freezer.
Bai Ruozhu cleaned a wooden box and placed the sealed porcelain bottles filled with her breast milk into it. She carefully closed the lid and placed it in the cellar.
Despite these measures, she still felt uneasy and called for Wei San to go back to the shop where she’d purchased the ice and order some more. The extra ice was put into the cellar.
Bai Ruozhu naturally had a good milk supply, but after drinking the lactation soup, the effect was rather overwhelming. Dengdeng was soon hungry again, and she was able to feed him right away. However, due to the massive milk letdown, she almost choked Dengdeng.
Bai Ruozhu looked at her son in her arms and felt extremely guilty. She whispered to him, "Dengdeng, Mommy is not a good mother, but I promise I will take measured risks and will not let myself die out there. You’re still young, and Mommy will definitely return safely."
"Perhaps we will hear some news about him in three days. Mommy doesn’t want to take risks either. But if I feel like I could do something and don’t, and then something happens, I will never have peace of mind for the rest of my life." Bai Ruozhu touched Dengdeng’s little face, speaking in a pained voice, "You will not see Mommy for a few days, will you blame me? Can you tell me if it’s right for me to decide to save him?"
Dengdeng couldn’t understand what she was saying and was too busy eating to pay attention to her. He even became annoyed when she touched his face, swatting her hand away impatiently.
However, when Bai Ruozhu switched sides, Dengdeng smiled at her and suddenly raised his hand to touch her chin, his laughter particularly crisp.
Bai Ruozhu was reminded of how Jiang Yichun would lift his mask to amuse Dengdeng when he held him, and how Dengdeng would also touch his chin in the same way.
"If you like him so much, you must agree with Mommy’s decision to save him, right?" Bai Ruozhu kissed Dengdeng’s cheek and switched to the other side to let him continue to nurse.
Dengdeng fell asleep after nursing and would not wake up until noon.
Bai Ruozhu looked at her son again, already anticipating that in three days, she would definitely set out. From the time Dengdeng was born until now, their separation had never exceeded a few hours. The longest time was when she had rescued Jiang Yichun and was subsequently unable to return due to the city being sealed off. Poor Dengdeng had been starving.
Thinking of this, she felt even more distressed about leaving her son. Without her company, would Dengdeng have a hard time adjusting? Would he cry incessantly at night?
After a while, the man delivering ice arrived. Bai Ruozhu gently placed Dengdeng down, exited the room, and paid the delivery man for the ice. Seeing the already freezing cellar, she finally felt a sense of relief.
"Ruozhu, are you turning the cellar into a fridge to store vegetables?" Bai Yihong asked as he came over from the backyard.
Bai Ruozhu shook her head, "In this weather, vegetables would freeze and lose their taste. I am storing something else. You’ll find out soon."
She hadn’t thought about how to explain to her family that she needed to leave for a while, let alone what excuse to use. The whole thing was a highly classified mission from the Administrative Office. Senior Fox had instructed her to keep it a secret, so she could not reveal the real circumstances to her family.
In the end, she decided to confide in her second brother since he was a very discreet person. He would definitely help guard her secret and assist her in dealing with the rest of the family. The question was: how could she convince him?
When Bai Zepei returned from the Study Palace at noon, he learned that Bai Ruozhu had bought a lot of ice. Seeing her, he immediately looked at her in a meaningful manner, as if he could tell she was up to something.
Fearing that her second brother might say something in front of the family, Bai Ruozhu signaled him and said, "Second brother, I have to go out and take care of something later. I just happen to be heading your way."
"Alright, let’s go now." Bai Zepei gave her a hard look before telling his parents that he was leaving.
"Now, tell me, what kind of mischief are you up to this time?" After they exited the house, Bai Zepei directly asked her.
Since Bai Ruozhu needed her brother’s help, she put on a flattering smile and said, "I might have to leave home for a few days. I need you to look after our family during my absence."
Upon hearing this, Bai Zepei came to a halt. He squinted at her and said, "I’m supposed to take care of our family as it is. What you’re actually asking for is for me to cover for you, isn’t it?"
"Hehe, you saw right through me, second brother." Bai Ruozhu said in an ingratiating manner. But her smile faded in the next moment as she helplessly said, "He’s in trouble. He’s severely wounded and missing."
Bai Zepei’s eyes widened in disbelief. His voice dropped a few degrees as he looked at his sister. "You’re planning to rescue him?", he asked. He didn’t wait for Bai Ruozhu’s answer, instead he scoffed coldly, as if he had heard the most ironic joke in the world.
"What can you possibly do to save him? Don’t get yourself killed in the process!" he warned her.
Bai Ruozhu took a deep breath. She didn’t like her brother’s tone or attitude, but she knew he was just concerned about her safety and didn’t want her to take unnecessary risks.
"I’ve saved him once before, the time I went to the back mountain to chop firewood and was late returning because the city was sealed off afterwards. I have my own ways, and the Immortal didn’t teach me the Immortal Techniques for nothing." Bai Ruozhu concluded, making the whole thing sound quite mysterious.
Bai Zepei scoffed again, "Swords know no master. Can you guarantee that you’ll return alive? Dengdeng isn’t even half a year old yet. Are you willing to let him lose both his father and his mother?"