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Chapter 665: Beast Realm (畜生道)
Hwiiiiiiiii—
I push forward through the long, long world of chaos.
Kugugugugu!
I feel it.
The power of the Salt Sea Returning Dew Jade accelerates Flower Soul Filling the Heavens, and I sit stiffly atop the deer of Flower Soul Filling the Heavens.
The time remaining until reaching the 'coordinates' pointed to by the Salt Sea Returning Dew Jade is probably about a month.
Originally, it would have passed in the blink of an eye...But ever since the kiss with Kim Yeon and heading toward the disgrace of the Heavenly Venerables together with her, it feels unbearably long.
'It feels like...time has stopped.'
I don't know what to say.
Let alone Kim Yeon's confession, even her kiss...
'Ah...'
I realize at some point, without knowing, I've been brushing my lips.
'Damn it...'
Kim Yeon is right.
There truly are things I don't know.
I've always considered myself well-versed in pain...
But when it comes to joy and love, how knowledgeable have I ever been?
I know nothing.
"Mmm..."
Kim Yeon also lets out a sound once. After the sudden kiss and once the excitement calmed down a bit, perhaps she began feeling embarrassed. She simply sits quietly behind me with her face bright red.
"..."
I spend time slowly with her, calmly thinking about my feelings toward her.
'...Have I ever liked Kim Yeon?'
Thinking about it, it's always been like this.
The emotions I felt toward Kim Yeon, back on Earth, were like those for a junior I needed to mentor.
In this world, she became a pitiable younger sister I had to save from the Mad Lord.
After that, when she confessed to me, I think I accepted her as just one of the connections I would eventually have to accept.
Before I advanced to True Immortal,
That is, during the fight with Blood Yin, I accepted her feelings because I did have some affection for her, however...
It was also because she was helping in the fight against Blood Yin, and there was a 'need' to raise her morale.
Perhaps all this time, I've thought I could use Kim Yeon's feelings to make use of her.
And only now do I realize—
'I've been...so arrogant.'
The very thought that I could dare 'control' someone's heart is overwhelming arrogance.
'Not just Kim Yeon's heart...but even my own...'
What on earth is going on?
Ever since I heard her cry out, I felt my heart pounding uncontrollably.
The mere fact that Kim Yeon is sitting behind me bothers me immensely, and my chest feels hot.
And I remember exactly when I last felt this way.
'Ah...I see.'
The 10th cycle.
Several years after living with Buk Hyang-hwa.
At that point, when I realized I liked her.
This feeling I have now is the same as what I felt back then.
Yes.
I...like Kim Yeon.
And I now understand why I haven't tried to form a proper relationship with anyone until now.
'...I was afraid.'
Unconsciously, without knowing it, I've been afraid of loving Kim Yeon, or anyone at all.
To fall in love, to share affection, to build happy moments together.
And then to regress.
Everything disappears.
The time I loved, the history I accumulated, the heart I exchanged.
Because I believed all of that would vanish beyond the timeline without meaning...
Unconsciously, I must have feared giving and receiving love more than anything else.
'Back then, with Buk Hyang-hwa, I tried to overcome that and confess...'
In the end, when Yuan Li killed Buk Hyang-hwa in that cycle, her existence itself became a kind of reverse scale to me.
'Yeah...I was afraid.'
Afraid that if I love someone like Kim Yeon, her existence might one day vanish.
Afraid that if I accept her feelings, those feelings might end up meaningless...
That's what I've been fearing.
'Damn it...How many times has this happened now?'
I grow sick of this repetitive agony of mine.
I've told myself countless times that the heart doesn't vanish, that it remains within my own.
And yet, haven't I been fearing that only 'love' would vanish easily?
'...Well, if you think about it...love is one of the most intense emotions after all.'
Maybe it's natural I feared it subconsciously.
After all, joy, pleasure, and all positive emotions at their peak approaches love.
'Love' is practically the pinnacle of all positive emotions, standing in contrast to 'pain'.
It's while I am lost in these thoughts.
Squeeze, squeeze...
"Hmm?"
From behind, Kim Yeon tugs at my collar.
I turn around to see what's going on.
"Mmm..."
"What is it, Kim Yeon?"
The last time she was able to speak briefly was because she temporarily broke through Bong Myeong's restriction with her full strength. Now, it seems she can't speak immediately again.
But even so, I feel like I immediately know what she wants.
"Ah...!"
Since she can't speak again, she expresses her intention through action.
Once more, her soft lips touch mine.
I freeze in place for a moment, and Kim Yeon pulls her lips away.
It's when my mind is frozen.
Kim Yeon presses her lips to mine again.
"...!"
And again, and again.
She keeps pressing her lips against mine.
Not long after, drawing from who-knows-what knowledge, she even tries using her tongue, kissing passionately.
Even without words, even without something like Araya Consciousness, I understand.
At last, I stop Kim Yeon as she tries to collide her lips on mine again, and I speak.
"Yeah. Kim Yeon. Stop worrying."
"Mmm...?"
"...Now, truly...without any hesitation, I like you too."
Upon the massive White Deer.
Atop its head, I seat Kim Yeon in front of me and embrace her.
"I'm really not putting on an act. I truly...like you. So...you don't have to worry."
"...!"
At my words, Kim Yeon trembles and blushes, starting to look shy again as if she hadn't just kissed me so passionately.
Why is that?
'Was she always...this cute?'
Seeing her shyness, I gently pull her chin and kiss her.
Now that I think about it, Kim Yeon's face is actually quite pretty.
She doesn't have the 'otherworldly' appearance of someone like Oh Hye-seo, the Sword Spear Heavenly Lord, or the Heavenly Venerable of the Underworld, but by human standards, she is very much a beauty.
It's just that until now, because of our positions and circumstances, I never thought she's pretty when I looked at her.
Back on Earth, it was because of Kang Min-hee and Oh Hye-seo.
And after coming to this world, it was because of Buk Hyang-hwa.
After that, people like Seo Hweol kept pressing me nonstop, and I kept running around trying to save all my comrades, which left me no leisure to really consider anyone's face.
I kiss her cheek, hold her hand, and embrace her...
Accepting her completely, I move forward toward the disgrace of the Heavenly Venerables.
At first, I thought the month would feel long...
But after Kim Yeon kisses me again, we completely lose any sense of awkwardness toward such acts between us.
And so, for about a month, Kim Yeon and I leave traces on each other's bodies with our lips instead of words, and the month passes by incredibly quickly.
Kugugugugugu!
"Huu...huu..."
Far ahead, I sense the 'coordinates' drawing near.
Just 15 minutes more, and we will arrive at the target point.
"Yeon-ah. We're here now. Let's get ready."
I speak to Kim Yeon, who's crouched down with her ears burning red, trying to calm herself.
"...Mmm."
She covers the shoulder I bit so many times and tidies her clothing.
Kugugugugugu!
Just as Kim Yeon finishes adjusting her clothes and regaining her composure—
At last, the objective I've been seeking reveals itself.
Kugugung!
It is a massive Salt Crystal (鹽晶).
Upon seeing it, my eyes open wide.
'Hyeon Mu?'
The Salt Crystal resembles a 'Three Great Ultimates formed of pure white snakes clustered together'.
Because it resembles a reversed-color version of Hyeon Mu's Gandhara, I tense up at first, thinking Hyeon Mu has appeared here.
But it seems it's just a Salt Crystal that looks like Hyeon Mu.
That Three Great Ultimates floats in the chaos in the form of a disc as large as a continent, and from within, an intensely ominous aura radiates.
Shiiiiiiii—
Finally, the moment Flower Soul Filling the Heavens reaches this 'disgrace of the Heavenly Venerables,' it loses the power of the Salt Sea Returning Dew Jade and scatters.
Holding Kim Yeon's hand, I step onto the land formed by this massive Salt Crystal.
Kuuung!
The moment my foot touches the Salt Crystal, I can tell.
'...A scream. Yes...I feel a scream.'
The 'pain' the Heavenly Venerables must have felt throbs faintly, transmitted through the Salt Crystal.
"...Kim Yeon. From now on, I'm going to peer into the disgrace of the Heavenly Venerables that lies within this Salt Crystal. What will you do?"
At my question, Kim Yeon seems to ponder for a moment, then grips my hand tightly.
"You want to see it with me?"
Nod—
"...Got it. Then I'll take that you made your resolve."
Woooooong.
With that, Kim Yeon and I hold hands and begin to read the ancient memories sealed within this immense Salt Crystal.
Paaaatt!
The Salt Crystal, composed of a Three Great Ultimates formed of ominous snakes, emits light and begins pulling our consciousness somewhere.
Most likely, it is a moment from the distant past.
Hwiooooooo—
'Where is this?'
When I regain my senses, what appears before me is the Sun and Moon Heavenly Domain.
The very edge of the Sun and Moon Heavenly Domain.
The front of the Head Realm.
And...astonishingly, the 'Head Realm' has a faint crack where part of its head is split.
In front of that crack, [something] is gathering.
'That is...'
They are beings familiar to me.
Hyeon Mu's Gandhara.
[Three Great Ultimates composed of black snakes].
The Gandhara of the Heavenly Venerable of Time I saw in the 19th cycle.
[Taiji formed from the overlapping of countless starlight trajectories].
The Gandhara of the Sal Tree Heavenly Venerable I saw 998th cycle.
[An enormous something made of countless flowers of light].
The Gandharas of each Heavenly Venerable have gathered in one place.
'The Three Heavenly Venerables all gathered with their Gandharas...and caused that tiny crack in the Head Realm...?'
I understand the circumstances and feel chills over my body.
'Even after gathering their Gandharas and unleashing an attack, all they did was make a crack?'
What in the world is the Head Realm?
Just as I'm about to get lost in that thought—
Shwiiriririk—
Hyeon Mu's body shrinks, and a familiar form appears.
It is the Transformation form of a girl with ponytails clad in black martial attire.
Next, Time and Sal Tree also reveal their Transformation forms and approach the crack in the Head Realm.
[At last...]
[We've managed to leave a crack in the Head Realm and glimpse the wisdom of the Akashic Records!]
[Good. Now we can finally learn the reason for our birth and the meaning of our existence. We can learn the truth!]
All of them, filled with anticipation, step closer to the crack and begin reaching toward the golden light emanating from it.
Even Hyeon Mu's eyes fill with anticipation, as if truly believing they can find the 'meaning of their existence' in the Akashic Records.
Then, when the Three Heavenly Venerables simultaneously reach their hands into the crack of the Head Realm—
[Huh...? Wh-What...?]
[W-Wait a moment... What is this? What in the world is this...!?]
[You mean...the meaning of our existence...is this...?]
A deep despair begins to cloud the eyes of the Three Heavenly Venerables.
Then, the Sal Tree Heavenly Venerable begins to scream.
[Aaaaaaaagh!!! Aaaaaaagh!! Uwaaaaagh!! I, I...I...!!! Just why...!!?? Why was I even born!? Just what kind of life is this!? Why was I born!? Are you saying my life had no meaning at all!!??]
From the eyes of the Sal Tree Heavenly Venerable, blood-colored spiritual energy begins to stream out.
The same happens to the Heavenly Venerables of Time and Void.
The Heavenly Venerable of Time, the True Ultimate Eternal Life Great Emperor, begins to wail in misery.
[The reason we were born into this world...was merely to block the Underworld from becoming the Life Supreme Deity...merely to serve as checks. The very meaning of our existence was nothing more than...keeping Bong Hwa in check...]
[So this is what it was. The Flower Field parasitizing the power of the Underworld, the Source River parasitizing the Akashic Records, Void trying to kill Underworld... It was all just this. Chess pieces to keep the Underworld in check to prevent the seizing of the Akashic Records. Are we Heavenly Venerables merely chess pieces...?]
While listening to the cries of the Heavenly Venerables, Void lets out a scream.
Seemingly on the verge of madness, Void, overcome with pain, starts wildly tearing apart the entire Sun and Moon Heavenly Domain.
The Heavenly Domain begins to collapse.
[All the history we believed we had built. The accomplishments. Our pasts were all...[overwritten] history. Ah, ahahahahaha! Sal Tree! Time! You were lucky. Weren't you both at least [someone who once existed]? Even if only mortals! But I!!! I have nothing!! I am just a fabricated personality!]
[What, are we comparing who is suffering more? Even if we had pasts, are you saying we aren't 'fabricated personalities'? We too...are just personalities made from [someone] else's imposed history.]
[We thought we overcame all adversity and ascended as Heavenly Venerables. But in the end, we were just 'delusional lunatics who mistakenly believed they've reached Heavenly Venerable'! Just what...was our life even about...?]
'...!'
[We were...nothing more than clay dolls created by the Future King to keep the Underworld in check...]
As I witness the screams of the Heavenly Venerables, I feel chills spread over my entire body.
This is it...
The disgrace of the Heavenly Venerables they so desperately wanted to keep hidden!
The secret and hidden story that torments them the most.
At the same time, the truth of their birth.
Hyeon Mu and the Heavenly Venerables were either a being that was once nothing that had a personality imposed onto a lump of authority,
Or they were once mere mortals into whom the memories and personalities of Heavenly Venerables were implanted, thus becoming Heavenly Venerables.
'This is...the disgrace of the Heavenly Venerables...!'
As I feel the intense despair and pain radiating from the Heavenly Venerables, I understand just how insane Hae Nyeong must have been to insist that this should be spread across the whole world for all to know.
[I see. It was the [names]...From the beginning, everything was already decided by our [names].]
The Heavenly Venerable of Time screams and tears out his own heart.
[It is not just us... Look at the Supreme Deities. All of them, do they not all have the symbol of the Future King in their names!?]
The names of the Supreme Deities from that time float before my eyes.
It seems that even the Salt Sea Supreme Deity had not yet become a Supreme Deity at that point.
But even so, they are similar to the current Supreme Deities.
Each and every one of them has a character in their name signifying Heaven, Black, or Fate.
And at their following cries, I feel my heart sink.
[Now that I think about it, it has always been that way! After becoming a Supreme Deity, not a single one has ever received a separate Immortal Title. Only those who were granted characters related to [Heaven], [Black], or [Fate] from the start were able to become 'Supreme Deities'!]
[Only those to whom the Naming Supreme Deity Hyeon Rang gave such names rose to Supreme Deity. And...if you consider that Hyeon Rang's Naming Immortal Dao is simply 'receiving and bestowing' a name through name divination to the heavens…there is only one answer.]
[Whether Supreme Deity or Heavenly Venerable...all except for Bong Hwa...are nothing more than slaves of fate!! Even Governing Immortals! They are all nothing but clay dolls molded by fate!]
Kuuung!
'...!'
As I hear those words, my complexion turns pale.
[From the beginning, none of the beings in this Sumeru Three Heavens Great Thousand World were ever truly people. The only existence in this world that is not a slave is but the Underworld alone...]
Drip, drip...
Chiiiiii—
From the eyes of the Heavenly Venerables, terrifying tears, no different from curses, fall.
Their tears spread throughout all of Mount Sumeru, beginning to destroy its various Heavenly Domains.
Following the anguish of the Heavenly Venerables, Mount Sumeru begins to be destroyed.
[Should we...entrust our hope to the Underworld...?]
The Heavenly Venerable of Void mutters while gazing at the Head Realm with a pained expression.
And as I look at her, I feel a sense of doubt.
'...?'
Hyeon Mu's reaction is strange.
Even after learning this new truth...
There's a sense that 'not everything is revealed'.
The reason I feel this way is simple.
'When Hyeon Mu met Hong Fan...that was when it truly felt like everything was 'laid bare'.'
Yes.
Hyeon Mu still knows [something] that not even she herself can fully recall.
And even after all the Heavenly Venerables have learned the secret of their birth from the Akashic Records, it still feels like Hyeon Mu's memory has not completely returned.
I watch the Heavenly Venerables go on a rampage after realizing that their very existence amounts to nothing more than being the clay dolls of the Fate Supreme Deity.
The Heavenly Venerables continue to rampage endlessly, collapsing all the Heavenly Domains of Mount Sumeru.
A while later, only after all of Mount Sumeru, except for the Underworld, is destroyed, do they finally regain some of their rationality.
[We cannot continue like this.]
[We must pursue the truth even further.]
[But...how can we do that?]
Having regained their sanity, the Heavenly Venerables continue their cries as they share their wills.
[Our entire lives have been fabricated, we are manufactured personalities, and we are nothing more than clay dolls—how are we supposed to carry this in our hearts and remain sane!?]
At Void's shout, the Heavenly Venerable of Time speaks while shedding tears of blood.
[Let's seal it.]
[What?]
[I will extract the memories of every living being in this time point, hide it deep within the chaos of the Outer Sea, and seal it. Let us all erase these memories from our minds, leaving only in our heads the 'process' of arriving at this memory and the 'conclusion' we reached after obtaining it. Let us seal away all truths related to this memory.]
[But...is there not the Underworld?]
[Even if we must kneel before the Underworld...let us plead.]
At those words, the Sal Tree Heavenly Venerable flinches in shock.
[No matter what, we are still Heavenly Venerables...]
[What Heavenly Venerables!? We are beasts (畜生)!!]
[...!]
[We are clay dolls with personalities, slaves of fate. What pride, what dignity do slaves have? Let us go to the Underworld right now, fall to our knees before her, and beg. Plead with her...to seal these memories of this timeline together with us. If we don't...we will go mad!]
[...]
[...]
At the Heavenly Venerable of Time's proposal, the Heavenly Venerable of Void and the Sal Tree Heavenly Venerable eventually agree.
And so, the Three Heavenly Venerables who agree to the proposal kneel down and bow toward 'where I am' and beg.
[We humbly report to the great Underworld!]
[O Oldest One...]
[Please...please seal the memories of this time...together with us... We earnestly beg of you...]
Thus, the three Heavenly Venerables seal their disgrace along with a portion of the Heavenly Venerable of the Underworld's memory.
Paaaatt!
With that, the memory cuts off.
Woo-woooong!
As I return to reality, I understand.
'So the speaker of that memory was the Underworld.'
It is when I realize this.
Woo-wooong!
Above the Salt Crystal disc, two silhouettes rise.
"...!"
They are the Heavenly Venerable of Time, the Great Ultimate Eternal Life Great Emperor Cheon Woon.
And the Sal Tree Heavenly Venerable, the Flower Monarch Gwan Myeong.
The Sal Tree Heavenly Venerable speaks to me.
[...Now...do you understand...?]
"...!"
I flinch in shock, realizing it is a projection of the Sal Tree Heavenly Venerable.
'He sent this projection all the way from Mount Sumeru to here? Is it because this memory served as the medium?'
It seems that the moment I viewed this memory, they recovered it as well.
Drip...drip...
From the eyes of the Sal Tree Heavenly Venerable's projection, streams of blood-colored spiritual energy begin to flow.
[Heavenly Venerables and Supreme Deities...all of them reach their positions solely through the will of fate. The Heavenly Venerables may be said to manage Mount Sumeru, but they merely exist to keep the Underworld in check. And the Supreme Deities, after rising, either resist within Radiance Hall or create a mess trying to leave beyond the Audience Chamber, only to be defeated by the Future King and end up as a special dish served at the [Supreme Deity Assembly]. That is the end.]
Shudder, shudder...
At the Sal Tree Heavenly Venerable's words, the projection of the Heavenly Venerable of Time beside him also begins to shed tears of blood, as if in agony.
[The term made by the Golden Divine truly pierces the essence. All of us...except for the Underworld and Salt Sea, are [non-human]. Yes...the Supreme Deities are nothing but livestock, fattened by the Future King to be captured and devoured, and we are nothing more than dogs trained to bark at the Underworld...]
As the cries of the Sal Tree Heavenly Venerable continue, I come to understand why Yang Su-jin considered everything in the world as 'non-human' and treated it so lightly.
It was because he believed only he himself was human.
[This world...is nothing more than a massive pen for livestock, a fish tank. It is a fence that traps the herd of sheep, a fish farm. Yes...this Mount Sumeru is...]
The Sal Tree Heavenly Venerable clutches his chest in misery and wails.
[A vast Beast Realm (畜生道)!]