Chapter 624: Inverted World (5)
It's petty.
Anyone would think so just by looking.
However, the moment I realize this fact, a different thought comes to mind.
Are They not doing it on purpose 'to make it look petty'?
Swaaaa—
This is a wave.
A wave visible only to my eyes, refined by acquiring Triple Divinity, and further honed through Yang Pitch and Yin Pitch.
Of course, perhaps Hyeon Mu or Kim Young-hoon may also be seeing it with similar vision...But for some reason, I feel that their vision is not the same as mine.
All of Mount Sumeru is covered by the wave.
The wave feels like a strange melody, like grotesque maggots, and like a beautiful symphony of clouds.
This is the heart of the entire world.
It must be a scene visible only because I, by becoming an innate True Immortal through the Flawless Mantra, by becoming an [Immortal Art that observes all of Mount Sumeru itself], have fused my vision with Triple Divinity.
'I see it.'
And through this, I realize that Gwak Am is deliberately choosing not give me the Immortal Crown.
'I see... Gwak Am...'
I hear the will of Gwak Am that is interwoven between the countless 'hearts' embedded throughout Mount Sumeru.
—I shall be hated.
By the Sumeru Three Heavens Great Thousand Worlds, by all beings, I will be hated.
—I shall face all the hatred and suffering of all phenomena head-on...
Through all that, I will seek repentant enlightenment.
—I shall honor the spirit of my master and uphold his will.
Thus, I shall be hated by you as well.
—Hate me.
"...I see."
A will to be hated by all.
And that will creates a resolution that demands all beings must hate Them.
I follow the flow of Brahma Nature, Narayana Nature, and Mahesvara Nature, which circulates throughout the world, and trace Gwak Am's heart in reverse to pursue Their thoughts.
In the group of 'all beings who must hate Gwak Am,' I, too, must eventually be included.
However, Gwak Am reaches the conclusion that I, ultimately, will not be able to hate Them.
'...Why?'
I cannot read any further into Gwak Am's heart.
If I want to delve deeper into Their inner heart, it seems I must further perfect Triple Divinity.
But I can't understand it.
'I hate Gwak Am. That is certain...'
I still vividly remember when the Wuji Religious Order was torn apart.
The brutality of Gwak Am, who annihilated the order in a single strike and personally tore apart the ones I cherished one by one remains etched in my mind.
They are undoubtedly my senior brother, a fellow disciple who served the same Master.
But that is that.
This is this.
Even if I respect Them as a senior who served our master before me...
'I...cannot forgive Them.'
This hatred I feel toward Them does not fade.
And yet, why?
Why on earth would Gwak Am come to such a conclusion, and even stoop to such petty acts in order to be hated by me?
'...Someday, I'll understand.'
As I listen to the lingering echoes of the hearts sweeping through the entire world, I think that one day I will uncover Gwak Am's inner heart.
It is at that very moment.
'...Ah.'
I realize something.
And the instant I come to this realization, I understand.
What it truly means to [invert].
As I awaken to this truth, I recite the Flawless Mantra and head toward the next life.
I am born.
And at the same time, I instinctively know my purpose.
I am an innate True Immortal.
A being who, by existence alone, receives the grace of Mount Sumeru, and in turn must enrich Mount Sumeru to repay that grace.
I must, by mere existence, contribute to the system of Immortal Cultivation.
By mere existence...
I must strengthen the path to the heavens, so that countless others may benefit.
That is the reason for my birth.
The moment I realize this, I recognize that I must [invert].
If to be an innate True Immortal means to support the system of Immortal Cultivation, then to invert it is to be its opposite.
I shall not contribute to the system of Immortal Cultivation.
I shall not support the world—rather, I shall devour it.
I shall become a being that devours all.
Woo-wooong!
I decide to become a monster that devours everything, including light itself.
Self-hatred stirs, but it does not matter.
I do not know why, but somehow it feels like this is something I have already done dozens, hundreds of times.
At this point, what does it matter if I keep repeating it?
However, from deep inside me, I feel a 'will' trying to surface.
It is a voice.
—That...is not it.
What is that supposed to mean?
I ignore the voice and proceed to invert as I originally intended.
'Let's devour the world...and collapse the system of Immortal Cultivation...'
That is the true [inversion] I must carry out.
—Either way, it's the same.
However, I cannot ignore this voice.
Because the power contained in that voice is binding me with such force that it is forcibly turning my head.
This power is something even I, who have become the Immortal Art that devours the world, cannot possibly disregard.
'What is this power?'
Suddenly, I grow curious about the identity of this power.
'If I keep devouring the world...I think I will be able to remember something I have forgotten. Then I will be able to figure out the identity of this power. But...if I listen to you, it feels like I will lose my memories instead.'
I speak to the voice.
'Is it okay to lose those memories?'
Before I know it, I realize I am facing the owner of the voice deep within the surface of a deep and deep darkness.
The owner of the voice is a man in white, reflecting all light.
And 'I' am in the form of a man in black, devouring all light.
We sit in a lotus position, facing each other and in an inverted state.
'Only by going against this world...can we reclaim ourselves. And yet, you say you will not go against it. Are you saying...you will not reclaim us...? Do you not understand that if the world itself is inverted, then us becoming inverted is the only way to be normal?'
—Let me ask you one thing.
I realize that this figure is another [me].
Another aspect of myself speaks to me.
—If you draw a circle on paper and try to move away from one side of that circle by heading in the opposite direction, what happens?
What on earth is he trying to say?
Yet with his words, a circle draws itself before my eyes.
We are inside that circle.
—Eventually, if you keep going in the opposite direction and reach the far end of the circle...
At the center of the circle, there is light.
And that light stretches upward and downward from the center of the flat circle, reaching both the place where I stand and where he stands.
Paaaaatt!
Before I know it, the circle we stand on draws a Taiji.
—Is it not the same...?
It's true.
No matter which direction you head toward from the center, you eventually reach the boundary of the circle and take on the same image as the opposite side.
—O Myself, who has received only misfortune and become misfortune itself. I have grown while receiving fortune and virtue, and thought surely blessings await me at the end. But look.
Even if one is granted fortune and virtue to the extreme and becomes an innate True Immortal, contributing to the heavenly path of Immortal Cultivation...
Even if one gathers only misfortune to the extreme, becomes misfortune itself, and turns into a monster that shatters Immortal Cultivation...
Whether we become fortune or misfortune, in the end, we all become components.
Playing the role of an innate True Immortal who supports the Immortal Cultivation system...
Or inverting that role to collapse the Immortal Cultivation system...
In the end, both are consumed by the role and become components for the sake of the play.
The white 'me' seems to want to say just that.
—The essence of fortune and misfortune is ultimately the same. No matter which extreme one reaches, within this world, one ends up as components.
'Then...what does it mean to be truly [inverted]?'
As one whose essence is [inversion], I ask the me in white.
I must hear his answer.
And the me in white smiles subtly.
—If misfortune and fortune...if blessings and curses are in truth one and the same, then let us give what we can with compassion...but let us not be lost in it. If we truly wish to invert, then isn't what we must do...escaping from the roleplay? Is it not to escape the situation of just being a component?
'...'
As I listen to those words, I gradually feel the white me and the black me drawing closer to each other.
—Let us have a heart.
'A heart...?'
—Even if we cannot completely escape from being components...let us not become true components. Let us not forget ourselves within this play. Is that not...
Bit by bit, me and I draw closer, and at last, within the pure white light, I feel the existence called [me] completely become one.
—...what it means to truly stand upright in this inverted world?
'...!'
The moment I realize this, a powerful shiver flows through my entire body.
Phenomena Extinguishing and Flawless are one.
Such realization brushes past me for some reason.
At the same time, faint 'memories' begin to return, and before my eyes, I begin to faintly see [someone].
Though the memories have not fully returned, I immediately know who it is.
"...Gu Ju (九疇)..."
However, they instantly react against my statement.
"Master! I am Hong Fan! Please come to your senses! Are you all right!?"
"..."
I look at him and smile.
"...Do not worry... From now on...I shall truly enter Flawlessness..."
"Master! Something is wrong with your condition! Your Flawless Mantra is unstable! Your comrades are all worried! Master is currently in a strange state right now! Please, escape from that condition immediately!"
"..."
At that moment, an image of the [me] newly born this time reflects in my mind.
It is the appearance of me, entirely transformed into a black hole of the universe.
I have become a perfect black hole of the universe, but at some point, light bursts out from various parts of the body, making my form unstable.
The neat sphere becomes distorted and begins to tremble violently.
My comrades stand guard, watching over me with worry.
Their 'hearts' seem to transmit a shared will—that they must stop me by force if necessary.
Beyond my comrades, numerous True Immortals are laughing joyfully.
And Hong Fan is using Formless Poison to enter my consciousness, attempting to stabilize me as a representative.
But I smile brightly.
"Tell them...not to worry."
I always feel sorry toward my comrades.
There are too many times when I don't even have the time to explain properly.
This moment is no different.
"From now on, I will..."
"Master!!!!! No!!! Seo Eun-hyun!!"
Hong Fan's eyes flip as he charges toward me.
In an instant, he invades the depths of my heart essence and grabs hold of the [something] synchronized with me.
My Refining Void Dharma Treasure, now refined to the level of an Immortal Treasure—my memory storage.
It is the Colorless Glass Sword.
Hong Fan, grasping the Colorless Glass Sword, which is no different from the essence of my Glass True Fire, screams as if in a fit.
"Please stop!! Stop this right now! What you are trying to do right now is madness!! Do not do it!! Have you forgotten what this means to you!?"
But even he cannot stop me.
"I shall...truly go against the world."
"No!!"
Kwaching!
I extend my will and shatter my Colorless Glass Sword with a single strike of my own hand.
It is not only the Colorless Glass Sword.
All of my Canvas of Myriad Forms and Connections within it are crushed.
All the personalities and fragments of myself that were embedded inside are destroyed and turned to dust.
I see Hong Fan screaming in a frenzy.
"Why would you do this!? Is this not your memory, Master!? Is this not your history!?"
As I feel all my memories scatter, I smile.
"Do not worry, Hong Fan..."
This shall become the true path to escape from the bridle.
"Even if I lose my history, I shall embrace my heart properly..."
The Colorless Glass Sword is the very history of myself, created by Buk Hyang-hwa.
At the same time, it is the collection of all my heartfelt attachments that have followed me my entire life.
Without a doubt, it is the sword that proves who I am.
But at the same time, it is also the bridle that restrains me.
Pung, peobeobeobeong!
Countless fragments of the Canvas of Myriad Forms and Connections begin to explode outward.
Hong Fan flails his hand in panic, trying to grasp the shattered pieces.
"What are you doing!? In the end...isn't this an act of losing yourself!? You, you will no longer be you!"
But nothing lands in Hong Fan's hands.
"Hong Fan..."
I continue speaking without losing my smile.
With every word I utter, memories scatter further.
However, this is not necessarily because the Canvas of Myriad Forms and Connections is breaking apart, but rather because I am simply aligning the mind of my reincarnated self with a standard to faithfully play my role.
"All things that possess form...eventually must wither."
"Even if form withers, was it not your very intention in creating the Canvas of Myriad Forms and Connections to preserve that history!? Even if it is a cradle of repeating memories, is it not something you should cherish and hold close!?"
"Hong Fan...listen."
I gently close my eyes.
"Only now do I realize. Of course, there is still so much to comprehend, and I remain far too lacking. Even so, this much I have come to understand."
I recall the enlightenment I gained while observing Gwak Am's heart, watching as They try to achieve repentant enlightenment across the entire world.
And I share that with Hong Fan.
"Gwak Am realized that, in the end, I would not come to hate Them. Why do you think that is?"
The Great Mountain Supreme Deity is, in some ways, terrifying to a chilling degree.
Even if They couldn't read my Canvas of Myriad Forms and Connections...
They read what lies within me.
To the family of the Wuji Religious order, I feel sorry for saying this, but...
There was once a person I hated more than the Great Mountain Supreme Deity.
It was Yuan Li.
The number of people Yuan Li killed was fewer than the Wuji Religious Order, and the divine power he showed compared to the Great Mountain Supreme Deity was that of a bug.
But why did I hate him more than the Great Mountain Supreme Deity?
Because I had been far younger than when I lost the Wuji Religious Order.
I had yet to properly cultivate my heart, had not endured countless years, and was still a green novice.
So even though I lost more during the time of the Great Mountain Supreme Deity, it was during the time of Yuan Li that I nearly fell into true corruption, unable to restrain my heart.
Most of all, the biggest difference between the time of Yuan Li and the time of the Great Mountain Supreme Deity...was Buk Hyang-hwa.
—Was what I just gave you...also a curse?
That single sentence.
And the final kiss we shared.
It still has not faded from within my heart.
Even if I were to be cast into isolation and spend time alone equivalent in years to the number of grains of sand of the Ganges River (ten sexdecillion), that alone I would never be able to forget.
The heart she gave me became my support.
Even when the entire Canvas of Myriad Forms and Connections was completely shattered by the Great Mountain Supreme Deity, that alone I was unable to forget.
That is why, even though I poured out curses in that cycle, I did not end up fundamentally twisted as I nearly did during the time of Yuan Li.
"A person's heart..."
And the Great Mountain Supreme Deity Gwak Am must have come to know this in the end.
Of course, it's not as if They pierced through my heart through pure martial doctrine like me, Kim Young-hoon, or Hyeon Mu.
From the beginning, the Supervisory Eye bestowed upon Hon Won was Theirs.
When it comes to Immortal Arts that pierce through things, They already reached the peak.
"...never disappears!"
I shout what I have realized.
Gwak Am likely did not see clearly.
They probably merely saw the support that Buk Hyang-hwa left within my heart, and tried—using petty, dirty tricks—to tear it down through whatever means.
But rather, it is thanks to Gwak Am that I have come to understand.
"The heart never disappears! And...nothing can truly contain the heart!"
"Pardon...?"
"I was mistaken. I thought that by reenacting those moments through my clones, by continuing them endlessly, the hearts from that time would also become eternal... But now I know. No...perhaps I should say I've revisited the truth once more."
[TL Notes: The word 'revisited' in this case is the same word as inverted.]
I smile brightly with my eyes closed.
Had I not already realized it when I rose to Five Energies Converging to the Origin?
A person's heart is infinite!
Nothing can truly express what the heart is.
Not established by words or speech (不立文字)!
That is why...
Even with the Canvas of Myriad Forms and Connections, it is impossible to express or properly remember the boundless hearts I received.
"Form will disappear. But those very hearts will remain within me, unwithering, and they will shape who I am."
"...What does that even..."
"Only now do I understand..."
Among my many realms, I scatter and begin to recondense the Heavenly Being stage.
"The cultivation of the Heavenly Being stage never needed madness."
Gathering madness in the cultivation of the Heavenly Being stage was merely to prevent a person's mind from being consumed and perishing by the vast nature of Heaven and Earth.
To keep the mind from being swept away by the nature of Heaven and Earth, one concentrates a part of it to the extreme.
That is the cultivation of the Heavenly Being stage.
But I have the Canvas of Myriad Forms and Connections.
As I scatter this, which makes up the greatest part of my madness, I come to realize.
"A person's heart itself...is the most bizarre and mysterious embodiment created by Heaven and Earth. By its very existence, it is not inferior to the nature of Heaven and Earth."
Pasasasasasa!
As the Canvas of Myriad Forms and Connections scatters, my very realm scatters, and my very existence begins to scatter and disappear.
As I melt into the world, I begin cultivating the Flawless Mantra.
Gradually, my memories as [me] submerge, and I become a new existence.
I see Hong Fan fidgeting restlessly.
"Master... Why...are you..."
That is the last thing I see before I fully melt into the world.
Paaaaatt!
The body of this lifetime, in the form of a black hole of the universe, explodes completely.
Scattering into countless fragments of light, I melt throughout the entirety of the Purple Lotus Realm.
At the same time, the color of the entire Purple Lotus Realm changes.
The color of the Purple Lotus Realm, once like a purple lotus flower, turns white.
The space, once corroded by the chaos of the Inner Sea beyond the Heavenly Domain, is now eroded again by my very existence.
What was once the world of Purple Lotus is now becoming the world of White Magnolia.
The scattered Colorless Glass Sword and the Canvas of Myriad Forms and Connections dye the world.
At the same time, I, who was born as an innate True Immortal, am reborn as an Entering Nirvana True Person in a corner of the Purple Lotus Realm.
Tukwaang!
From beyond a distant star cluster, a Heaven Upper Immortal under Black Dragon throws a single strike that pierces through me.
Kwaaaaang!
I am pierced and annihilated by that single strike.
But even as I vanish, I smile.
Though I have no memory, I can smile with nothing but the heart engraved within my chest.
Until now, the will I held while cultivating the Flawless Mantra was 'to grow stronger for everyone's goal'.
In a way, a rather vague will.
But now.
Only now does this will change.
To something far simpler, yet far more powerful.
'Protect the family.'
That one will alone.
At the same time, I, now dead, become a sacrificial offering that twists the very laws of the world.
Kurururung!
Along with my death, my will envelops my comrades.
Already powerful to begin with, my comrades are now protected by the power of the White Magnolia world, and within this realm, they become even closer to invincible.
With that, I close my eyes.
That, is my 501st reincarnation.
"...Do you remember...who I am?"
Someone asks from in front of me.
Wearing a dark blue robe, radiating a strength now at the level of a Judge.
She looks at me and asks.
No memory comes to mind.
It feels like the storage vault where I once held memories had burst open.
My mind feels like a blank sheet of paper.
But...
I smile.
Even if I have no memories, this heart is surely within me.
The heart the being before me once gave me is still here inside!
The moment I recall her, every memory I shared with her resurfaces.
At the same time, centered around those memories of her, all of my memories revive as well.
"...Don't worry. As long as you are all by my side...I will never forget."
I smile brightly at her.
The Canvas of Myriad Forms and Connections is not destroyed.
Its form has merely changed.
From a mist only I can see, it has become a flawless garment that truly resides within my family, protecting them.
The Canvas of Myriad Forms and Connections and the Colorless Glass Sword have changed.
From tools that merely revisited my failures and remembered old memories...
They have now become a true sword that brings miracles into reality and protects my family.
The Canvas of Myriad Forms and Connections has merged with the Flawless Mantra, becoming both bridle and law that is worn upon the family I wish to protect.
Yes.
An Immortal Crown.
What I gave to my comrades is practically an Immortal Crown forged from the will of my sacrifice.
The Myriad Forms and the Flawless have met to form the Immortal Crown.
It is said that the Immortal Crowns existing in this world are created through the origin controlled by Supreme Deities and Heavenly Venerables.
Then, what is the origin of the Immortal Crowns I have bestowed upon them?
Surely, it is the hearts we have exchanged.
As long as the hearts my comrades gave me remain.
As long as they are by my side, I will protect them, and as long as I seek to protect them, I will never forget them.
Even if the form known as memory is forgotten, the heart alone will remain and pave the way for my fate.
'Didn't you not give me an Immortal Crown, Senior Brother?'
Thinking of Gwak Am, who must be somewhere in the Outer Sea, I slowly embrace Kang Min-hee.
Thud.
Our foreheads touch for a moment.
A heart of pure affection, without lust or desire, is conveyed to her.
At the same time, the form of my Immortal Crown clearly reveals itself.
'Then I don't need one, Senior Brother. I will make my own. However, I will not wear it myself.'
Paaaatt!
It is a paper flower.
'I don't need what is given by someone else. As long as I have something to give to my family, that is enough.'
A white magnolia and a quince flower, two paper flowers, are threaded together.
Extending from behind Kang Min-hee's head in several strands, they wrap around her body and attach themselves to various parts of her clothing.
'Because...just by becoming my family, I've already received grace that must be repaid by scattering the Immortal Crown to protect.'
Royal Bestowed Flower (어사화/御賜花).
'Just by repaying that retribution... Just by giving and receiving hearts and forming a connection...'
The Immortal Crown created through the Canvas of Myriad Forms and Connections and the Flawless Mantra, born from the hearts and connections given and received, takes the form of a Royal Bestowed Flower suited to each individual.
'I...have already donned the greatest Immortal Crown called connection.'
Having fully gifted the Royal Bestowed Flowers upon my family, I now begin to step forward boldly into the next life.
From now on, I will lose my memories often, but it doesn't matter.
If, until now, my memories remained undying as long as the Colorless Glass Sword existed—
Then from this moment on, with its form shattered and fully embraced within my heart, my memories will remain undying so long as my family is by my side.
And thus, I begin to carry on the true cultivation of Flawlessness.
Translater Notes: Royal Bestowed Flower (어사화/御賜花) is a paper flower bestowed upon those who passed the civil exam during the Joseon Dynasty. I recommend searching it up to see what it looks like.]