Chapter 525: Seo Hweol's Memories (2)
The first memory of the 'existence' called 'Seo Hweol' was their 'mother' and 'father' enveloped in a pure white light.
The two smiled brightly at them, who was then just a baby.
In their childhood, 'they' grew up receiving abundant love from their parents.
Memories of childhood are generally blurry.
Seo Hweol's memories are also hazy.
However, one thing is certain.
Seo Hweol, while they may not have always been loved, was undoubtedly happy.
And that continued even after their personality fully developed and learned that their 'name' is Seo Hweol.Seo Hweol was a happy person.
Though their life was a bit shabby, they could read some words as the child of a family that ran a bookstore and was considered one of the brightest among the village children.
Seo Hweol mastered all written characters and basic learning materials by the age of five.
However, despite possessing such genius, Seo Hweol's parents neither urged nor pressured them.
They simply loved them as they were, and whenever they excelled at something beyond others, their parents simply praised them, saying they did well.
Seo Hweol's mind became sharper by the day.
Simply observing something was enough for them to grasp its principles, and through that, they understood the world.
Seo Hweol, while observing lightning strike the ground, attempted to guide it with a kite and even created a lightning rod.
They also invented a waterwheel, which their village lacked, and crafted saddles and stirrups.
The children, young adults of the village, Seo Hweol's friends, all of them liked Seo Hweol.
Everyone said the same thing.
That Seo Hweol would surely grow up to be a great figure.
However, Seo Hweol still did not have a clear goal.
It might be more accurate to say that because they possessed the ability to do anything, they didn't know what to pursue.
Martial arts? Scholarship? Cooking? Farming? Inventing? Hunting?
Whatever it was, Seo Hweol would perfect it and even identify ways to improve and refine them further. This was Seo Hweol's talent.
So what exactly was such a Seo Hweol supposed to do?
Seo Hweol did not know.
Thus, they began to observe the people around him.
As Seo Hweol's friends grew older, they got married.
Seo Hweol also asked their parents.
They asked if they, too, needed to marry a man or a woman.
Their parents replied,
—Everything under Heaven and Earth follows the principle (理) of Taiji, pairing as it should.
Seo Hweol decided to follow their words.
However, Seo Hweol couldn't decide whether they should marry a man or a woman.
While contemplating, they reasoned that if they married a woman and became a 'husband,' they could travel the outside world, observe more, and better comprehend the principles of the world.
Thus, Seo Hweol became a man.
He became a man, chose a girl who liked him, held a wedding, and became someone's 'husband.'
After marrying the girl, Seo Hweol gradually matured, taking charge of all the village affairs and broadening his horizons.
At times, he went on journeys. At times, he visited the capital to learn more about the world. And at other times, he joined wars, galloping to the ends of the earth beside a conquering king.
In this way, Seo Hweol aged.
He traveled the entire world and grasped the principles behind countless events that occurred within it.
With his old, near-death body, he eventually returned to his home village and peacefully closed his eyes amidst the blessings of his home village's people.
He lived one life, full of happiness and satisfaction, and departed as such.
Seo Hweol.
He lived to the age of 90.
Seo Hweol opened their eyes again.
It felt as though they had woken up from a long dream.
Seo Hweol realized that something was strange.
A powerful sense of déjà vu washed over them.
At the same time, they saw the faces of their [parents] within the radiant light.
However, Seo Hweol found it strange.
These [parents] were not Seo Hweol's parents.
Their 'parents' found it strange that Seo Hweol was not crying and smacked their bottom.
—A baby girl not crying but only rolling her eyes? How ominous!
Seo Hweol pretended to cry for the time being to grasp the situation.
And then they understood what was happening.
Seo Hweol had reincarnated.
But it was a bit peculiar.
For one, the beings who were now their parents were clearly people Seo Hweol had seen in their previous life.
That's right.
Seo Hweol was born to their former life's father-in-law and mother-in-law.
As Seo Hweol grew older, they gradually came to confirm their existence.
Seo Hweol had reincarnated into the body of their own wife, returning to the childhood of her past.
It was such a bizarre event that Seo Hweol was always lost in thought, trying to explore its principles.
And watching such a Seo Hweol, their new parents—their in-laws from the previous life—despised them, saying,
—A girl who doesn't speak and whose thoughts are impossible to know is utterly ominous.
Then, Seo Hweol discovered something strange.
The [parents] who had been their [parents] in their first life did [not exist].
Following this, the [Seo Hweol of the previous life] also naturally ceased to exist.
As a result, even though Seo Hweol had been reincarnated into their wife's body, they were able to retain the name [Seo Hweol].
They—or rather, she—continued to ponder.
Why had such a thing occurred?
However, Seo Hweol's parents came to view her as increasingly ominous, and as soon as Seo Hweol grew mature enough, they sold her to a beggar on the street.
Seo Hweol became the beggar's wife, lying beneath him, observing and analyzing new experiences she hadn't gained in her previous life.
But for some reason, Seo Hweol could not have children.
In fact, it was the same in her previous life.
Seo Hweol had lived an entire lifetime without having children, and this life was no different.
The beggar, angry at Seo Hweol for her inability to have children, beat her savagely and roughly violated her body.
And one day,
Seo Hweol was eventually beaten to death by the beggar.
She died at the age of 18.
Seo Hweol opened their eyes again.
Once again, [parents] were looking down at them from within the radiant light.
Seo Hweol understood what had happened.
They had reincarnated again.
And this time, to an earlier point in time.
Seo Hweol figured out who they had reincarnated as this time.
One of their friends from their first life.
This time, he was a boy again.
Reincarnated as a boy, he observed his surroundings.
And he began to feel an inexplicable sense of déjà vu.
It was such a strange déjà vu that Seo Hweol instinctively understood.
This strange déjà vu was the very cause of his repeated reincarnations.
Thus, he grew up under new parents.
As Seo Hweol grew under his new parents, he realized two things.
First, these new parents didn't like Seo Hweol either.
Like the previous life, his new parents disliked how Seo Hweol constantly brooded over something.
Seeing him observe the world and explore its principles, they accused him of simply playing around and frequently scolded and beat him.
Second, the 'Seo Hweol and his parents from the first life' and the 'Seo Hweol of the second life' had all [disappeared].
The Seo Hweol from the previous life.
In other words, the Seo Hweol who had reincarnated into the body of his wife in the first life, had disappeared in this life.
Word was that his previous parents—his in-laws from the life before that—ended up in such a way that the father-in-law became an eunuch and could no longer consummate their marriage.
The very casuality (因果) that would have led to the birth of Seo Hweol's wife in the first life had been erased.
Seo Hweol did everything he could from his current position to figure out what was going on.
First, he utilized the knowledge from his previous life to restore his family's fortunes.
Then, using his family's power, he gathered shamans, sorcerers, monks, and daoists from all over the country to investigate whether such a phenomenon had happened before.
Seo Hweol absorbed their knowledge, learning everything he could, and read every piece of literature dealing with strange events (奇事), supernatural forces (怪力亂神), and ancient myths from all corners of the world.
However...
He could not find a single clue.
Nevertheless, Seo Hweol did not give up and scoured the world for all kinds of information on sorcery, spells, ghosts, and heavenly deities.
And...
Seo Hweol failed to realize that his parents and siblings feared him.
No, he knew.
But...even if he knew, he never thought that parents could harm their own child.
Because in the common sense Seo Hweol knew, parents might beat, scold, or berate their children...but they were still parents.
Even if they could sell their daughters to beggars, they were still parents.
For that reason, while collecting information on all kinds of ghosts and supernatural powers, Seo Hweol naively trusted them.
No matter what, he never thought his family would harm him.
Seo Hweol, trusting the parents who feared him and living comfortably in their house even after reaching adulthood,
Was strangled to death in the middle of the night by his parents and siblings.
Seo Hweol opened their eyes again.
Amidst the pure white light, they saw new 'parents.'
Seo Hweol felt a strong sense of déjà vu.
They recalled how their parents and siblings from the previous life had strangled them in their sleep and decided to reassess the situation.
However...
Realizing that they had been directly killed by their own parents brought forth an indescribable flood of tears, leaving them unable to think clearly.
The fourth life of Seo Hweol was once again as a girl.
She was one of the girls who had followed the Seo Hweol of the first life, admiring him.
The parents of this life, seeing Seo Hweol barely speak, refuse to eat, and often sobbing quietly, believed she was possessed by a ghost.
Thus, when Seo Hweol turned five, they sold her to a pavilion in the city.
Seo Hweol, sold to the pavilion, did menial work and eventually grew into a courtesan.
Utilizing her unique analytical skills and ability to grow, she quickly rose to become the top courtesan in the brothel.
None could match her in poetry, calligraphy, music, and dance.
She learned much at the pavilion.
The art of captivating people, the techniques to seize their hearts, the ways to keep them clinging, and more...
However, because she never thought favourably of the pavilion itself, she persuaded those who clung to her to walk the proper path, arranging good marriages for them so they would never return to the pavilion.
While Seo Hweol's reputation grew, the pavilion faced declining patronage, gradually falling into poverty.
Regardless, Seo Hweol used her status and position to continue investigating this phenomenon.
As she was bound by her status as a courtesan, she could not leave the pavilion and had to rely on others to continue her investigation.
She realized it was the same in this life as well.
The Seo Hweol of the first life and the causality that brought him into being.
The Seo Hweol of the second life and the causality that brought her into being.
And...the previous life, the Seo Hweol of the third life and the causality that brought him into being—all of it had disappeared.
The parents who had killed the Seo Hweol of the previous life had become infertile and could no longer have children, preventing the birth of the existence that was Seo Hweol's former friend and Seo Hwel themself.
The same was true this time as well.
Every time Seo Hweol was reborn, the connections from the previous life were being erased one by one.
At this rate, all the connections that the Seo Hweol of the first life had known would eventually vanish.
Before it came to that, Seo Hweol resolved to solve this situation and once again retraced the events of her past life.
As a courtesan, she gained access to forbidden books and texts she had never seen before in her previous life.
Seo Hweol summoned countless shamans, daoists, monks, and priests, accumulating their knowledge.
And finally, she realized something.
Monks, daoists, and shamans could not provide the answer to this situation.
Although she had read all the scriptures and legends they provided, none of them explained the phenomenon she was experiencing.
Thus, she continued to ponder what method itself could explain this phenomenon.
But one day, the pavilion owner attacked Seo Hweol.
Knowing the lust the pavilion owner harbored for her, Seo Hweol pretended to give in.
However, after violating Seo Hweol, the pavilion owner cut off her tongue.
Then, after severing the tendons in one of her legs, he sold her to a red pavilion specializing in prostitutes.
The reason was absurd.
The owner claimed that because of Seo Hweol's whispers, too many patrons had stopped coming to the pavilion, worsening its finances.
And so, Seo Hweol was sold to a pleasure pavilion.
Having experienced being pushed beneath a man in her past life, she did not fear receiving many men.
She engaged with men, and at times women, gradually understanding humanity.
Although her tongue had been cut out, such a thing was not particularly necessary for her learning.
She was able to learn much in the red pavilion.
She went beyond merely captivating or binding people to her; she learned how to make them devote everything to her.
The art of completely seizing control over people and manipulating them.
She learned how to exploit human desires.
Amidst a world overflowing with countless desires and lust, Seo Hweol came to understand humanity.
And...
Eventually, while manipulating and captivating people, she became entangled in a love-driven conflict and had her neck cut by a man who claimed to love her.
Seo Hweol died at the age of 36.
Seo Hweol opened their eyes.
Amid the radiance, new parents appeared before them again.
Once more, they felt a strong sense of déjà vu.
They recognized who they were in this life.
Seo Hweol was born as the beggar.
He was the beggar who had been the husband of the Seo Hweol of the second life.
Once again, Seo Hweol's parents in this life were not good people.
Seo Hweol remembered how, on his first birthday, one of his parents, drunk on alcohol, had tried to strangle him to death but fell asleep in the process.
As the days went by, Seo Hweol was beaten more and more.
His father and mother were both the same.
They were always eager to kill Seo Hweol.
And Seo Hweol once again felt that the physical bodies of his previous lives had completely disappeared along with the casualty.
However, at this point, Seo Hweol no longer knew what else to do.
He had investigated every myth and legend.
Moreover, he had read through countless texts and scriptures from the Shaman Family (巫家), Immortal Family (仙家), and the Buddhist Family (佛家) on supernatural powers.
He learned about Buddhist Family entities, such as the Seven Brilliances (七華), Twin Venerables (雙尊), and One King (一王).
He also came to know of the Eleven Governings (十一御) of the Immortal Family.
He even heard countless stories about minor gods and ancient deities (古神) from the Shaman Family.
All of them were bizarre and astonishing, but that was all.
None of it provided a solution to Seo Hweol's situation.
Moreover, the situation only continued to worsen.
For some reason, the parents of his fifth life gradually came to hate him more and more and eventually sold Seo Hweol to a labor camp.
Seo Hweol became a mining slave, working in a mercury mine.
While extracting mercury ore, Seo Hweol was gradually exposed to heavy metal poisoning, his body growing weaker.
Realizing that this could not go on, Seo Hweol used all of his abilities.
Using his skills, he captivated the mine overseers and managers, subtly manipulating their psychology until, at the perfect moment, he seized an opportunity and escaped the mine.
However...after escaping the mine, he was overwhelmed with despair.
What on earth was he supposed to do?
What more could he possibly do?
Seo Hweol was in so much anguish that he no longer wanted to do anything at all.
He drank the mercury elixir that the mine owner occasionally consumed.
It wasn't just the mercury elixir.
He gathered hallucinogenic plants and made drugs that pavilion customers used to smoke, and consumed them himself.
Everything seemed about to end.
But...
At that moment.
While high on drugs and his body soiling itself in the drugs' intoxication, Seo Hweol felt something through the drug-induced hallucinations.
It was [déjà vu]!
Seo Hweol felt an overwhelming sense of déjà vu and instantly sobered up from the drugs.
That was it!
The strong sense of déjà vu Seo Hweol felt each time he started a new life!
Finally, in the depths of his wretched existence and under the influence of drugs, Seo Hweol had managed to uncover a clue about his life!
From that day forward, Seo Hweol sought out and inhaled all kinds of drugs.
The initial sense of déjà vu became harder to feel the more drugs he consumed.
Seo Hweol felt it was because he was getting accustomed to the drugs.
Thus, he began seeking even stronger drugs.
Addicted to drugs every day, he begged and labored to obtain them, hoping to feel that powerful sense of déjà vu once again.
Though his intellect and skills could have allowed him to earn money quickly, his drug intoxication made even that difficult.
His thoughts became limited to only base and degrading ideas.
Simple labor or begging were the only ways he could obtain drugs.
However, he needed increasingly stronger drugs to feel the déjà vu, and the stronger the drug, the more expensive it was.
As a result, at some point, Seo Hweol began stealing.
Seo Hweol displayed talent even for theft.
Each day, he broke into the apothecary's storeroom, producing drugs even while intoxicated by them.
He had expertise even in making drugs.
As he manufactured drugs daily, he could create countless varieties of drugs through his own unique formulas, and lived everyday drenched in those countless drugs.
But then...on one such day.
Seo Hweol, in a state of weakened reason due to drug intoxication, created the 'ultimate drug.'
Upon consuming the 'ultimate drug,' he finally succeeded in partially uncovering the nature of the déjà vu.
Seo Hweol felt the boundary between this world and the illusory world created by the drug growing faint in the midst of the déjà vu,.
He didn't know exactly what that meant.
But one thing was certain—hope had emerged.
However, while intoxicated by the ultimate drug, Seo Hweol was caught stealing from the apothecary that day. Flayed alive, he was turned into human jeotgal (젓갈).
He died at the age of 45.
Seo Hweol opened their eyes once again.
In this life, she was reborn as a girl.
Ignoring the parents gazing down at her in the radiance, Seo Hweol quickly analyzed the situation.
It was still one of the women who had followed Seo Hweol around in the first life.
Seo Hweol began living her life in the body of the woman.
However, this family was even more of a dead end than the previous one.
Seo Hweol's parents were quickly taken by the plague, leaving her to be raised by one of her relatives.
Under her relative's care, Seo Hweol endured all manner of humiliation and abuse from a young age.
But none of that mattered.
At some point, Seo Hweol stopped caring about concepts like ethics.
She simply used her abilities to take control of her relative's household and bent it to her will.
Then, to ensure they could not fear her or even have the thought of fearing her, she directed their attention elsewhere.
She created a target for their hatred.
By subtly whispering that the elderly scholar from the neighbouring house was stealing the harvest from their fields, she provoked them into conflict.
With a target for their hatred, the household lost their minds and stopped paying any attention to her.
She used her appearance and body as tools to bring the entire village into her grasp.
First, the village. Then, the town. After that, the city.
After bringing the leaders of countless factions under her thumb, she eventually managed to place even the emperor of the nation beneath her.
She became the empress.
As the empress, she began purchasing medicinal ingredients from across the nation to recreate the ultimate drug.
However, even the ultimate drug could no longer evoke that same sense of déjà vu.
She became accustomed to that too.
Seo Hweol pondered.
How could she plunge her mind even more rapidly into the abyss than with the ultimate drug?
She summoned all the experts across the nation to solve this question.
Doctors and female physicians gathered.
At the same time, shamans and sorcerers assembled.
Finally, after extensive discussions with countless experts, Seo Hweol came to an understanding.
The most powerful drug of all was ultimately the human brain (腦).
A person's brain, as the manufacturing center for all kinds of hallucinogenic substances, could exhibit a potency far stronger than any drug if its potential were unlocked.
Hearing this, Seo Hweol set out to discover a way to manipulate her own brain.
At first, she used medicine, but eventually, she turned to the sorcerers' spells to plunge her mind into hallucinations.
Amidst the déjà vu that surrounded her, she realized a few truths.
While she might have been happy at first, as the days passed, she would inevitably become unhappy.
She didn't know why.
That fact was [determined].
How could she escape this cycle of misery?
How could she escape this cycle of suffering?
Seo Hweol pondered these questions.
However...no solution presented itself.
She merely continued refining her techniques for manipulating the brain.
One day.
She finally uncovered the principle behind the sorcerers' spells.
It was a form of hypnosis.
Disguised as a ritual and incantations, it was a technique for manipulating the mind.
Seo Hweol established a field of study called hypnotism and began to delve further into its study.
But...
After spending over a decade immersed solely in hypnotism, the crown prince born of another consort ascended to the throne.
By the will of the new emperor's mother, Seo Hweol was subjected to the punishment of becoming a human pig. Her limbs were severed, and she was thrown into a pigsty.
Seo Hweol died in the pigsty.
She died at the age of 54.
However, within her painful life, Seo Hweol smiled as she died for the first time.
It was because she had deceived her brain through hypnosis, convincing it that the situation was joyful.
—Hoho...hohohohohoho...
As she was torn apart by pigs, she laughed and laughed.
The seventh life.
The moment Seo Hweol was born, they looked up at the parents smiling at them beneath the light and smiled faintly back at them.
By now, they had come to understand a few of the laws of her life.
First.
The self from the previous life is entirely erased along with the cause and effect.
Second.
Through the use of drugs or hypnotism, they could deceive the brain and experience a strong sense of déjà vu.
Third.
The longer their life goes on, the more miserable they would become.
That was it.
And just as expected.
As soon as Seo Hweol was born, the parents of this life sold Seo hweol to bandits and told them to make Seo Hweol into baby jeotgal.
Seo Hweol's fate was definitely to die as a baby jeotgal.
However, using the hypnosis they had mastered in their previous life, Seo Hweol controlled the bandits.
And, having grown up in the bandits' mountain hideout, they once again came to realize who they were.
He was, shockingly, the [father-in-law] of Seo Hweol from the first life.
He was also the [father] of Seo Hweol from his second life.
He had discovered another law of life.
Regardless of time or space, he would continue to reincarnate, [replacing someone who originally existed].
Upon discovering this truth, Seo Hweol dedicated his life to uncovering the nautre of the déjà vu.
He hypnotized and brainwashed countless commoners, manipulating the minds of many.
At the same time, Seo Hweol continuously refined his own mind through hypnotism, pushing himself deeper and deeper into the depths of hallucination.
The deeper he went, the stronger the déjà vu became, until at some point—
Seo Hweol discovered something else within the déjà vu.
It was Loathing (憎惡).
Hatred.
A powerful hatred (憎) surrounded Seo Hweol's entire life.
And Seo Hweol realized what it was.
The Seo Hweol's of the previous lives.
In other words—
It was the hatred of [those who had been replaced by Seo Hweol].
The hatred of those who had been replaced by Seo Hweol and erased from the world blanketed the entirety of Seo Hweol's life.
Because of their hatred, Seo Hweol could only become increasingly miserable and suffer more and more as time went on.
Within his agony, Seo Hweol shed tears of blood.
This could not go on.
If things continued this way, all the people Seo Hweol cherished would gradually be replaced by Seo Hweol himself.
He quickly had to find a way to end this way of life.
Thus, Seo Hweol continued searching relentlessly for a solution.
It was on one such day.
Seo Hweol reached the pinnacle of hypnosis, achieving a state where he could instantly fall into hypnosis and traverse hallucinations.
His control over his brain had developed to the point where he could instantly manipulate it to release hallucinogenic substances in abundance.
And within the hallucination, Seo Hweol felt the strongest sense of déjà vu he had ever experienced.
It was the sense of déjà vu where the boundary between reality and illusion blurred.
Within that sense of déjà vu, Seo Hweol glimpsed a terrifying possibility.
In an effort to deny this possibility, Seo Hweol mobilized every bit of knowledge and logic he possessed to push it away.
However, Seo Hweol's level of hypnosis had become far too advanced.
Where once he had relied on drugs to feel déjà vu, he had reached the point where, with just a minor adjustment of his brain, he could feel it at will within his hallucinations—and even peer beyond it.
As Seo Hweol observed this déjà vu, he came face-to-face with a [truth] he could not refute with any logic.
That truth was...
This world was a [dream].