"No..."
I quickly shook my head.
Nah, that couldn't be true.
It was way too painful, way too dreadful to be just a dream. The lingering phantom aches in my muscles, the echo of those giggling stars—no way my brain could fabricate that kind of horror.
I must have fainted after that giant star hit me... or maybe after the massage? Or... wait, did I pass out even before that?
I groaned, rubbing my temples.
Urgh, that psycho snake's 'training' must have scrambled my brain too.
Just then, a timid but worried voice piped up from my right:
"U-um... a-are you alright?"
I turned—oh. Luna. Sweet, innocent Luna, her eyes wide with concern.
"Yeah, thanks for worrying," I said, mustering a weak smile. "You're really kind, you know that?"
Then I deliberately shifted my expression into one of exaggerated annoyance.
"—Unlike someone who throws people into death trials without a warning!"
And as expected - a sudden chill crawled up my spine.
I slowly turned my head.
Zephyr stood behind me, holding a steaming cup, his eyes boring into me with the intensity of a predator sizing up its next meal.
"You were saying?" his gaze seemed to ask.
I gulped—but didn't back down. Instead, I narrowed my eyes, a mischievous grin playing at the edges of my mind.
Hehe. Time for psychological warfare. I have to take revenge!
I turned back to Luna with the most wronged, pitiful expression I could muster.
"And see? Your fiancé is still trying to threaten me!" I clutched my chest dramatically. "Sister Luna, please, please ask him to stop bullying poor, defenseless little me!"
Luna's face went through five different emotions in two seconds—confusion, shock, guilt mixed embarassment, panic, and finally, sheer nope.
"I... I... I have something else to do! Sorry—!"
And just like that, she bolted, her green ponytail fluttering behind her like a startled flower petal in the wind.
I watched her go, then stood up, stretching my stiff limbs.
Damn it, I was lying on the floor this whole time?
At least put me on a couch or something!
Muttering under my breath, I snatched the cup from the tray in Zephyr's hands.
"Is this for me?" I didn't wait for an answer. "Thanks."
I downed it in one gulp—
"GAH—! What the hell?! Why's it so bitter?!" I coughed, nearly spitting it out. "Are you trying to poison me now?!"
Wasn't all that beating enough?!
However, Zephyr's eyes gleamed with an unfamiliar light—something dark, calculating.
Oh no.
"That's a good idea," he muttered, stroking his chin as if genuinely considering the best way to poison me.
I gulped, my survival instincts kicking in.
"B-Brother Zephyr!" I forced a laugh, sweat dripping down my temple. "I-I was just kidding! I-It was good! Really! D-Don't worry about it!"
Zephyr's eyes widened slightly at my words. Then, to my horror, he nodded to himself, as if filing away this reaction for future reference.
I just dug my own grave, didn't I?
Before I could backtrack further, a familiar emerald-scaled serpent poofed into existence between us, his tail curled around a fresh cup of juice.
Damn it, not him too! I barely held back the curse burning on my tongue.
Virion floated there, tilting his head as he examined me from head to toe. Then, to my utter confusion, he nodded approvingly.
"Good, good... You really suit it."
Suit what? To be your punching bag?! I screamed internally.
Outwardly, I took a deep breath and forced myself to speak calmly.
"Master Virion... what exactly was the lesson back there? Surely you didn't... a.b.u.s.e me for nothing, right?"
In my head, I'd dreamed of learning something cool—portal opening, teleportation, maybe even some epic space ability or technique. Heck even blink would have been fine.
But no.
Instead, I got exploding stars, laughing moons and falling into the abyss repeatedly.
But in most stories, I thought desperately, those mentors with absurd training methods—though probably not this absurd—had some deeper meaning behind it. A secret technique, a hidden lesson, something!
Surely even this psychotic snake had some purpose beyond tormenting me... right?
I clung to that hope like a lifeline, while Virion's grin widened, his fangs glinting.
So...
"Jie Jie... You're really something else, wingman boy." He took a leisurely sip of juice. "And yes, there's a deeper meaning behind it—it's..."
I leaned forward, anticipation tightening my chest.
Finally, the grand revelation—
"It's to have fun!"
Crack.
A vein throbbed on my forehead.
Y-YOU—!
Black lines of frustration crept across my face, but I forced myself to exhale, unclenching my fists.
Calm down. You already figured out his nature. He's a mischievous, sadistic, juice-loving snake who gets kicks out of tormenting students. Don't take the bait.
You are calm and cool guy... Yeah...
"...Master," I said through gritted teeth, "with all due respect, what exactly did I learn from nearly dying a hundred times?"
Virion's tail flicked. "Hmm. Let's see..." He tapped his chin. "You learned how to dodge."
"...That's it?"
"You learned how to fall."
"That's not—"
"You learned how to scream really loudly."
I stared at him.
He stared back.
Then—
"Hahaha! Oh, your face!" Virion cackled, rolling midair. "Fine, fine. Truthfully..." He suddenly sobered, his voice dropping to a whisper.
"...You learned how to adapt."
I blinked.
"Under extreme pressure, your body and mind adjusted," he continued, his eyes glinting with something almost... approving. "Most people break when thrown into chaos. You? You adapted. That's the foundation of everything."
A beat of silence.
Then—
"Also, it was really fun to watch."
CRACK.
Another vein.
Zephyr sighed loudly in the background, as if this was his daily suffering.
Virion ignored him, swirling his juice. "So! Ready for Phase 5?"
My soul left my body.
Almost.
"N-No, I still have some studying to do, so I'll take a break," I said quickly, already backing away.
Virion's tail flicked. "Oh? I could just open a portal for you—"
"I want to walk!" I blurted out, shaking my head vigorously. "By foot. Fresh air. Good for recovery. Thank you for the training, Master Virion! Brother Zephyr!"
I bowed hastily—then bolted before either of them could react, half-expecting a portal to swallow me up mid-step.
No way am I getting kidnapped into another "lesson" today.
"Jie Jie Jie~"